C
So, here's my two cents worth on the situation.
First of all, I understand the feeling you are going through. I know that it is a rough time and that if you are going to God then He is working on so many things inside of you. I've had such a hard time in my life being able to give over FULL control of things to God. But I promise you, it is worth it.
With my ex, it took a huge process for me to get to the point where I didn't have his stuff everywhere anymore or pictures or talk to him every time he was online. I was so stubborn. lol I had to delete him from my facebook. Not because I hated him or was angry but because my relationship with God was more important than anything and I didn't have the strength on my own to flee that temptation, so I had to remove it completely and in every area. Essentially, I had to erase him from my life. But I still ached inside. God was breaking me and changing my heart. I kept praying for Him to remove these feelings! To remove this thorn from my side! Then God gave me this scripture:
NASB 2 Corinthians 12:7-10 "Because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, for this reason, to keep me from exalting myself, there was given me a thorn in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to torment me-to keep me from exalting myself. Concerning this I implored the Lord three times that it might leave me! And He has said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness." Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties for Christ's sake, for when I am weak, then I am strong."
How amazing God's grace is. It gave me the strength to do what I needed to in the situation in order to not only make it out but to overcome those feelings that were essentially, holding me in bondage. God was using that weakness of mine to not only show His glory, but to work in my life and change my heart and my ways of thinking. He used it to draw me to Him. ^_^
I've also never been on my face before the Lord so much in my life. I cried out to Him throughout the day, all day every day. I started giving everything to Him. Every time my ex would come to my mind, I would simply pray for him, for his salvation, and for encouragement for him in his walk with God. I knew that I couldn't be the one to lead him to the lord. The seed had already been planted and all that I could do at this point was to pray for him and trust God with his life. There's not much helping someone if being around them brings you down as well.
Something else that really helped was finding something or someone else to focus on. Not in a relational way....but find somewhere to serve. Find something to pour yourself into in a service capacity. Find a way to use the gifts that God has given you to show His love and pour into others' lives. You'll be amazed at what God does through that and how fulfilling it is. It kinda fills that empty space as your heart heals.
And one more thing, God loves you. God loves your ex. He desires so greatly for you to simply be at His feet and lay everything there for Him to bear. Trust God with your ex. Trust God with your feelings. Know that what you have to do may not always FEEL good, but God calls us to love Him and love others. Sometimes part of loving someone is letting them go and giving them to God.
First of all, I understand the feeling you are going through. I know that it is a rough time and that if you are going to God then He is working on so many things inside of you. I've had such a hard time in my life being able to give over FULL control of things to God. But I promise you, it is worth it.
With my ex, it took a huge process for me to get to the point where I didn't have his stuff everywhere anymore or pictures or talk to him every time he was online. I was so stubborn. lol I had to delete him from my facebook. Not because I hated him or was angry but because my relationship with God was more important than anything and I didn't have the strength on my own to flee that temptation, so I had to remove it completely and in every area. Essentially, I had to erase him from my life. But I still ached inside. God was breaking me and changing my heart. I kept praying for Him to remove these feelings! To remove this thorn from my side! Then God gave me this scripture:
NASB 2 Corinthians 12:7-10 "Because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, for this reason, to keep me from exalting myself, there was given me a thorn in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to torment me-to keep me from exalting myself. Concerning this I implored the Lord three times that it might leave me! And He has said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness." Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties for Christ's sake, for when I am weak, then I am strong."
How amazing God's grace is. It gave me the strength to do what I needed to in the situation in order to not only make it out but to overcome those feelings that were essentially, holding me in bondage. God was using that weakness of mine to not only show His glory, but to work in my life and change my heart and my ways of thinking. He used it to draw me to Him. ^_^
I've also never been on my face before the Lord so much in my life. I cried out to Him throughout the day, all day every day. I started giving everything to Him. Every time my ex would come to my mind, I would simply pray for him, for his salvation, and for encouragement for him in his walk with God. I knew that I couldn't be the one to lead him to the lord. The seed had already been planted and all that I could do at this point was to pray for him and trust God with his life. There's not much helping someone if being around them brings you down as well.
Something else that really helped was finding something or someone else to focus on. Not in a relational way....but find somewhere to serve. Find something to pour yourself into in a service capacity. Find a way to use the gifts that God has given you to show His love and pour into others' lives. You'll be amazed at what God does through that and how fulfilling it is. It kinda fills that empty space as your heart heals.
And one more thing, God loves you. God loves your ex. He desires so greatly for you to simply be at His feet and lay everything there for Him to bear. Trust God with your ex. Trust God with your feelings. Know that what you have to do may not always FEEL good, but God calls us to love Him and love others. Sometimes part of loving someone is letting them go and giving them to God.