Why do women and men want a relationship?

[DCrawshawJr]

I heard a guest preacher joke once, "If you don't want to build character, then don't have a family. Look, don't even get married, because God forbid, you might mature in your walk." or something along those lines.

What? Why do you need marriage for maturity? (I Corinthians 7:32-35) Sure, some people need a marriage for maturity, but not everyone.

You need a partner because nobody is perfect. Alone, nobody is good at everything. A person needs a partner to be good at the things the person is bad at. (Protip: That's why sometimes opposites attract.)

You also need a partner so if one of you falls the partner is there to help with the load. What does the Bible say?
Ecc. 4:9 Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labor.
Ecc. 4:10 For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up.

Yes, you need companionship, but you don't need a relationship or marriage for that.


Now, why would I want a relationship? Honestly, while I don't technically need a woman for companionship, I do prefer them. But if I get into a relationship and not just a friendship, I want us to be married in the future because apparently it would get harder and harder for me to not want to be in bed with you as time goes by. (I Corinthians 7:9)

 

[Jimbone]

I am not sure exactly why, but the fact it was the way God designed it in the beginning may have something to do with it. I can say that I couldn't imagine my life without my wife at this point, but then again I've been with her more of my life, at this point, than I was without her. (together in high school at 17 and 15, now we are 36 and 34) I couldn't see it before regeneration, but she was such a HUGE part of what drew me to the Lord, and I thank and praise Him literally every day for her being part of my life and the mother of our children. She is everything I'm not and I am everything she's not, and after 18 years together I love her more than ever and feel like we are just getting started. After being reborn I see everything with fresh new eyes, and her having been saved years before and praying, loving, and patiently waiting with me, then seeing the power of our God transform me overnight the way only He can after getting through the hardest test of my life so far, has renewed her as well, praise Jesus name. I still can't say exactly "why", but I can tell you I can't thank Him enough.

 

[melita916]

I heard a guest preacher joke once, "If you don't want to build character, then don't have a family. Look, don't even get married, because God forbid, you might mature in your walk." or something along those lines.

Man, relationships can be hard stuff. I mean, you regularly die to self, you learn what it means to lay your guards down, be vulnerable, build communication, begin to understand an entirely different human being that is not yourself, fight for connection, learn patience, kindness, selflessness at times when you don't feel like being any of the above, you learn to forgive: often, you get disappointed and you disappoint...

... but in it all you yourself are being sharpened by another who is intimately woven in to your life like no other human being will share with you. You do life with someone who says 'Yes' to you everyday. That as one flesh (in the context of marriage, just to be clear) you both portray and reflect the God head more accurately than you did as a single, as you both compliment the other.

We desire to be completely seen by someone. We desire to be completely vulnerable, even if we suck at communicating feelings or not. We desire to be 'known', really 'known', whether it be the odd little quirks in our behaviour or the terrain of our skin. In a way, it reflects God's desire to be known by His people, a yearning for deep relationship. I guess, by design, we desire deeper relationship and intimacy because our God is an intimate God.

i agree with this 110%

 

[Willie-T]

Okay, so let me specify... Other than procreation purposes, what is the need for a relationship? I have asked a couple people this already and the answers have varied. Me personally, I have come to find, after reviewing my marriage, that I really have a difficulty emotionally connecting to people and I honestly forget to even consider others feelings. Call it a flaw I guess. But I don't see that changing, as it is who I am.

But it also caused me to further ponder the reason for relationships beyond pro-creational purposes. I was sitting in my living room tonight, looking around at my now customized house. (the way I like it and wanted it but a spouse hindered this) And I thought to myself, "why would I want to give up being able to do things the way I like it?" I even took a moment to ponder "what if I was married again and had someone else here with me?" That thought made me cringe. This is my place and I like it this way. I'm in my 30's. I'm pretty much set on how I like things. And I don't have to compromise. If I need to hang with someone, I call a friend, hang out for a couple hours, and call it good. Do we really need someone else around? You avoid having to even consider "don't go to bed angry" or anything like that.

So, back to my question... Why relationships? As we are all different, I'm just curious to see others reasoning for it. Im not saying relationships are bad, I'm just curious as to why?

We crave relationship for the same reason that you feel a compulsion to come here.

We are people who need people, no matter how much we deny it.

After all, just think about it.... you are bringing this question to other people, right? If you didn't need people, you wouldn't even consider the opinions of others. You would be off in the woods somewhere with no internet or cell phone.

 

[Born_Again]

By the way I have to mention... you are asking a group of (mostly) singles why people want relationships. It might be a better question for the married forum. Just a thought.

No, I posted in this forum for a reason. Singles have this information readily available.

 

[Born_Again]

We crave relationship for the same reason that you feel a compulsion to come here.

We are people who need people, no matter how much we deny it.

After all, just think about it.... you are bringing this question to other people, right? If you didn't need people, you wouldn't even consider the opinions of others. You would be off in the woods somewhere with no internet or cell phone.

First, this is just an inquiry. Second, yea, we come on here to hang out. But it doesn't mean that is evidence to be in a committed relationship. I already noted in my original post that I like to hang out with friends but it doesn't mean I need to be around people all the time. And, I don't know about the rest of you, I find it quite difficult to emotionally attach to someone via computer screen. "Hey, I couldn't help but notice your typing skills... I think im in love." LOL

 

[p_rehbein]

By the way I have to mention... you are asking a group of (mostly) singles why people want relationships. It might be a better question for the married forum. Just a thought.

???

Don't they already have a relationship? They wants anudder? Shellfish peoples, dem married folks.

 

[GaryA]

Can you imagine not having intimacy for the rest of your life? Can you imagine not having that person who will be there with you as others come and go?

"Well..... Yes, quite frankly -- that does seem to be the pattern so far..."

 

[MollyConnor]

I want a relationship so that I can better serve the Lord with this person. This means that I only want said relationship, if the union between us is going to bring more glory to God. I want what God wants because I know His way is the best way.

I have a deep desire to know someone and for him to know me intimately. I want someone that will be there for me and me for him through thick and thin. Wouldn't it be special to find someone that would be willing to lay down their life for you? Someone who is willing to sacrifice time with friends or by themselves to spend it with you and make a life with you?

I heard (in a book) about a couple that waited for marriage and when they were married, they would hold hands constantly. Their love for each other was deep and intimate. Once he was sitting on the front seat and her on the back seat of a car because other people were occupying the other seats. Anyways, they still managed to hold hands with him on the front and her on the back. They couldn't stand to be away from each other. When they were away from one another, they actually felt sad and yearned for the other's presence...

That's what I want to find...someone that will do those things with me and me for him. It's a long shot, and I don't know anyone who has that kind of love in real life...but it would wonderful to find!

So basically I want a relationship if it's going to serve God in a better way than just me by myself, and to share the romantic love I've always dreamed about.

Cheesy romantic love gif coming in 3, 2, 1...

 

[PANCAKES]

Ewwwww Cooties . But in all honesty, probably because we were designed to.

 

[Ugly]

Okay, so let me specify... Other than procreation purposes, what is the need for a relationship? I have asked a couple people this already and the answers have varied. Me personally, I have come to find, after reviewing my marriage, that I really have a difficulty emotionally connecting to people and I honestly forget to even consider others feelings. Call it a flaw I guess. But I don't see that changing, as it is who I am.

But it also caused me to further ponder the reason for relationships beyond pro-creational purposes. I was sitting in my living room tonight, looking around at my now customized house. (the way I like it and wanted it but a spouse hindered this) And I thought to myself, "why would I want to give up being able to do things the way I like it?" I even took a moment to ponder "what if I was married again and had someone else here with me?" That thought made me cringe. This is my place and I like it this way. I'm in my 30's. I'm pretty much set on how I like things. And I don't have to compromise. If I need to hang with someone, I call a friend, hang out for a couple hours, and call it good. Do we really need someone else around? You avoid having to even consider "don't go to bed angry" or anything like that.

So, back to my question... Why relationships? As we are all different, I'm just curious to see others reasoning for it. Im not saying relationships are bad, I'm just curious as to why?

Basically it's a matter of which is a great priority for you. Your personal convenience and having things how you want them, or the desire for a deeper connection with a person that typically cannot be found among friendships. This can include physical elements.
If you would rather have everything done how you want, then yeah, relationships may be a hinderance to your happiness. But if you place a higher value on emotional connection then being in a relationship is the greater happiness.

For me i do enjoy being able to do my own thing. Particularly as an introvert. But being in a relationship also helps push me in areas i often need pushed. And i enjoy the connection with another person as deep connections are a big need of mine.
To me, as long as i get my time alone, to do my own thing, then it's not an inconvenience for me to be in a relationship. But if i never had any time alone, then it would be a struggle. The way to resolve that is finding someone who would understand my need to be alone sometimes. Even better, one that recognizes the healthy aspects of having time apart for both involved.

 

[Tinkerbell725]

We come into this world alone
From the heart of darkness
The infinite unknown
We're only here a little while
And I feel safe and warm
When I see you smile
Everybody searching for intimacy

[video=youtube_share;eW_Wiyihc_Y]http://youtu.be/eW_Wiyihc_Y[/video]

 

[coby]

And, I don't know about the rest of you, I find it quite difficult to emotionally attach to someone via computer screen. "Hey, I couldn't help but notice your typing skills... I think im in love." LOL

Was it my eyes you fell in love with? No your punctuation and correct grammar. It's nice if you're looking for a grammar nazi.

 

[coby]

I want a relationship so that I can better serve the Lord with this person. This means that I only want said relationship, if the union between us is going to bring more glory to God. I want what God wants because I know His way is the best way.

I have a deep desire to know someone and for him to know me intimately. I want someone that will be there for me and me for him through thick and thin. Wouldn't it be special to find someone that would be willing to lay down their life for you? Someone who is willing to sacrifice time with friends or by themselves to spend it with you and make a life with you?

I heard (in a book) about a couple that waited for marriage and when they were married, they would hold hands constantly. Their love for each other was deep and intimate. Once he was sitting on the front seat and her on the back seat of a car because other people were occupying the other seats. Anyways, they still managed to hold hands with him on the front and her on the back. They couldn't stand to be away from each other. When they were away from one another, they actually felt sad and yearned for the other's presence...

That's what I want to find...someone that will do those things with me and me for him. It's a long shot, and I don't know anyone who has that kind of love in real life...but it would wonderful to find!

So basically I want a relationship if it's going to serve God in a better way than just me by myself, and to share the romantic love I've always dreamed about.

Cheesy romantic love gif coming in 3, 2, 1...

Yes that's what I had. I was serving the Lord already, but marrying improved me. I spent at least two hours in prayer every day, was on fire, prayed for souls, first thing we did together was evangelizing. We had the same goal: get the harvest in. And then the devil came along and ruined everything. Since then I hardly pray, sometimes I do again but all my energy goes in searching, searching, searching for someone on internet and having to post day and night to not feel lonely and wanting someone is a filthy sin, so be it. I got this prophetic Word in church: Yes God has someone for you, but not now.
Great. When? In 10 years or so? I'm not so stupid as that woman who waited 5 years before her to be husband was finally ready for a relationship, because he wanted to be single. It's now or never. If he's too lazy to show up he can just simply stay away. My grandma loved it to be single. I'll just have to get used to it and pick up my life again and not having this loneliness as an excuse to not do anything usefull. I'll just crush on Jesus. You don't want to give me someone? Great. Then I crush on You.

 

[lilbittie]

But if I get into a relationship and not just a friendship, I want us to be married in the future because apparently it would get harder and harder for me to not want to be in bed with you as time goes by. (I Corinthians 7:9)[/QUOTE]

BWAHAHAH at least you're honest

 

[sassylady]

Each person brings something to the relationship; God put it there in the first place when He created Adam and Eve. It's not a sin to live alone, but I think about the statement in the movie Uncle Buck when he said he liked being able to do what he wanted when he wanted. His girlfriend said something like that's the biggest recipe for loneliness I've ever heard. I would think some day the possessions won't matter as much when you are lonely and still alone. But marriage is not for everyone.

 

[SpySat1]

To not be alone.

And sex.

 

[jeremyPJ]

I heard a guest preacher joke once, "If you don't want to build character, then don't have a family. Look, don't even get married, because God forbid, you might mature in your walk." or something along those lines.

Man, relationships can be hard stuff. I mean, you regularly die to self, you learn what it means to lay your guards down, be vulnerable, build communication, begin to understand an entirely different human being that is not yourself, fight for connection, learn patience, kindness, selflessness at times when you don't feel like being any of the above, you learn to forgive: often, you get disappointed and you disappoint...

... but in it all you yourself are being sharpened by another who is intimately woven in to your life like no other human being will share with you. You do life with someone who says 'Yes' to you everyday. That as one flesh (in the context of marriage, just to be clear) you both portray and reflect the God head more accurately than you did as a single, as you both compliment the other.

We desire to be completely seen by someone. We desire to be completely vulnerable, even if we suck at communicating feelings or not. We desire to be 'known', really 'known', whether it be the odd little quirks in our behaviour or the terrain of our skin. In a way, it reflects God's desire to be known by His people, a yearning for deep relationship. I guess, by design, we desire deeper relationship and intimacy because our God is an intimate God.

I couldn't have said it any better. Right on...

 

[Tintin]

Because God made us that way.

 

[HonestlyHumbled]

To become one.
Men are not equal in everything. We compliment each other, given both people involved in the relationship are whole.
A sunset is better appreciated when enjoying it with someone.
A bond in a relationship is very special. There is intimacy in all sorts of ways. They will be the person you share things with.. your fears, loves, flaws, passions and dreams. Marriage is a gift from God. Love is amazing. We all love differently, but we all feel it the same. We express it differently too. Some people aren't good with words... Some people aren't good with affection.. But deep down inside we all have a need to feel and express love.