Would you, would you not?

[Michelle94]

Just curious if any of you would ever consider dating a non christian? Have you ever dated a non christian? How did it go. What was better and more fun, christian or non-christian.

If you would date a non-christian, is there does there religion matter at all? Or would it have to be a more mainstream belief that you are familiar with such as Jew or etc... Would you ever date a Buhdist? A Wiccan? A Satanist? An Atheist? A Muslim?

Just curious


Feel free to add to this. You dont have to keep it within religions. That was just a starter. I wanted to ask something slightly controversial for a good view of your thoughts. EX. Would you date someone that is ok with using drugs? What if it was just occasionally and they didnt force you to. You might be the one that they have been waiting for to help them. If you have enough will power, you would not have to ever worry about being addicted. Would you care if your spouse looked at porn?

 

[Henry_YZ]

I personally believe that sharing the same values is important for me to be in a relationship. If you follow a certain lifestyle, you would expect for your partner to be a compliment of it and work things out in harmony. If you know that having contradictive point of views might cause problems or cause the relationship to end someday, then why start a relationship with that person? Might as well just stay as friends.
Either way, I've always thought that whatever works for couples is a personal decision of them. Some believe that oposites attract and some might enjoy a bit of a messy relationship lol.

 

[Sarah88]

No, I wouldn't. I have seen firsthand that it doesn't work very well. My father is not a christian and that has brought many situations for all of us. Also, in other cases I've seen friends dating non-christians which ultimately leads to the christian one being influenced by the non-christian. Even if it doesn't happen like this, at one time or the other there's going to be a problem between them. I agree with Henry_YZ, why start a relationship when it will most probably end?

 

[Michelle94]

What about other branches of christianity? My dad was protestant, but I went to a Catholic school. That caused some big problems for me, as they are very different in some ways.

 

[Sarah88]

What about other branches of christianity? My dad was protestant, but I went to a Catholic school. That caused some big problems for me, as they are very different in some ways.

In my opinion, if the beliefs are too different, then no. Maybe while you're dating there are not going to be any serious problems. But, what if you decide to get married? That would pose serious issues such as, which one are you going to teach to your kids? Which church are you going to go as a family? and so many more.

 

[Michelle94]

Yeah I guess thats what kind of happened to me. Do you think that could be good in some way for the kids? Maybe to see a wider perspective on the differences. In some ways, I'm happy how it worked out because I got to see both sides. Most people probably only saw 1.

 

[Sarah88]

I'm glad it worked out for you And I'm sure that it has worked for other people too. But, not every family or person is the same so, what may have worked for you may not work for other people. I guess that's a personal decision between a couple according to what would work best for their family.

 

[karine___]

i think it just wouldn't make sense to date a non-believer, unless one is looking for trouble...
different from a set of rules and rituals that some ppl follow to belong to a religion , Christianity is a relationship with ur Creator that can only happen when u become aware of ur own fallen condition, the one u cant redeem urself from and u accept Christ's payment for u.

we come from slavery(to sin) , from addictions, emotional dependency etc and now as we begin to listen to our Creator our lives begin to straighten up , we become aware of our real value, we discover who we really are and what our purpose on earth is , so we will no longer regard others as we used to , we will no longer act on our own as we used to .

there are many interesting people out there who aren't Christians , God made everyone unique, with talents , gifts and every soul is precious to Him but theres a crucial thing we should always bear in mind , whoever isnt in light is in darkness . only when u get to know someone deeply (sometimes just a long talk is enough) u will see their life isnt as beautiful and colorful as it looked on the surface , so unless u decide to close ur eyes to that u wont be able to keep a healthy relationship with that person with ur eyes open.if u decide to go on u will either be influenced by his/her views or u will influence him or her with urs , now what often follows is that u'll leave him/her for lack of compatibility but when that happens its usually when someone is being born again , not during it.

if i had a spouse and he looked at porn (i wouldnt marry one in the first place) that would mean he needs to be set free so i would pray , have a talk with him and hope he left that , now not for myself but for his own good and salvation.

 

[zeroturbulence]

I would. My personal relationship with Christ runs very deep and no one is going to talk me into another religion. Also, I lived most of my life as an agnostic with an open mind so I don't have any problems getting along with people of other beliefs, except maybe radical athiests (those that not only deny God's existence, but take pleasure in making fun of those who do believe).

And I know about the scripture that says to not be yoked with unbelievers. I read it in context and the writer (Paul?) was trying to stop a big exodus of christians to another popular church at the time. Also, the UNEQUALLY part is always ignored by people. Its the most important part of the verse. If your faith is stronger than the other person's, then there is no problem. A yoke is a bar that sits across two necks. The one pulling harder will pull the other one in their direction.

 

[karine___]

Yeah I guess thats what kind of happened to me. Do you think that could be good in some way for the kids? Maybe to see a wider perspective on the differences. In some ways, I'm happy how it worked out because I got to see both sides. Most people probably only saw 1.

i know what u mean michelle , i grew up with both sides too but the fact that when i was a young adult i decided to believe God didn't exist only meant that i never knew Him personally ,i only knew what i was told . once u know Him personally u will never decide to leave Him , cause He's fulfillment , satisfaction , life , what everybody is out there looking for . may u let Him touch ur heart and speak to u

 

[Rachel777]

I used to think that there's nothing wrong but there are and while i was growing up i changed my mind

Two things may happen : If you are acting according to the scriptures and reject the desires of the flesh MAYBE " the non-Christian " will turn apart from the devil and accept God as his Savior. Or (the one i think is gonna happen) the christian will get influenced and gonna fall apart from God.,because is impossible for two people who think differently to stay together in harmony.

Conclusion: it doesn't work .. I agree with Henry and Sarah: it is unnecessary to start something that may end quickly.

 

[Jullianna]

My faith is such a part of me that I don't think I'd want to become involved with someone who didn't understand my heart for the things of God.

And, no, I wouldn't want to become involved with someone who is a drug user or addicted to porn. I think those sorts of behaviors need to be dealt with before you enter a serious relationship with someone. If they were past addictions that they had surrendered to God, it wouldn't be a problem though.

 

[Sarah88]

And I know about the scripture that says to not be yoked with unbelievers. I read it in context and the writer (Paul?) was trying to stop a big exodus of christians to another popular church at the time. Also, the UNEQUALLY part is always ignored by people. Its the most important part of the verse. If your faith is stronger than the other person's, then there is no problem. A yoke is a bar that sits across two necks. The one pulling harder will pull the other one in their direction.

What about the other verses?

2 Corinthians 6: 14-15

For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? 15 What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? Or what does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? 16 What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God.

Also, in the Old Testament, God repeatedly told the people of Israel to not marry men and women from other nations.

Joshua 23:11-13

11 So be very careful to love the Lord your God.
12 “But if you turn away from him and cling to the customs of the survivors of these nations remaining among you, and if you intermarry with them, 13 then know for certain that the Lord your God will no longer drive them out of your land. Instead, they will be a snare and a trap to you, a whip for your backs and thorny brambles in your eyes, and you will vanish from this good land the Lord your God has given you.


Look at this one:

Nehemiah 13:23-27

23 In those days I also saw Jews who had married women from Ashdod, Ammon, and Moab. 24 Half of their children spoke the language of Ashdod or of one of the other peoples but could not speak Hebrew. [a] 25 I rebuked them, cursed them, beat some of their men, and pulled out their hair. I forced them to take an oath before God and said: "You must not give your daughters in marriage to their sons or take their daughters as wives for your sons or yourselves! 26 Didn't King Solomon of Israel sin in matters like this? There was not a king like him among many nations. He was loved by his God and God made him king over all Israel, yet foreign women drew him into sin. 27 Why then should we hear about you doing all this terrible evil and acting unfaithfully against our God by marrying foreign women?"

Even though Nehemiah had a weird (and painful!) way of making his point, he wanted to remind the Israelites that God didn't like what they were doing. The other nations meant all those that did not worship the One True God. I think that still stands today. There are many other verses but if I put them here I would make one very long post.

 

[Megatron]

Ive dated nonbelievers and believers before in the past. I just got along better with the nonbelievers. Maybe its wrong but thats how things went.

 

[zeroturbulence]

What about the other verses?

2 Corinthians 6: 14-15

For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? 15 What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? Or what does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? 16 What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God.

Also, in the Old Testament, God repeatedly told the people of Israel to not marry men and women from other nations.

Joshua 23:11-13

11 So be very careful to love the Lord your God.
12 “But if you turn away from him and cling to the customs of the survivors of these nations remaining among you, and if you intermarry with them, 13 then know for certain that the Lord your God will no longer drive them out of your land. Instead, they will be a snare and a trap to you, a whip for your backs and thorny brambles in your eyes, and you will vanish from this good land the Lord your God has given you.


Look at this one:

Nehemiah 13:23-27

23 In those days I also saw Jews who had married women from Ashdod, Ammon, and Moab. 24 Half of their children spoke the language of Ashdod or of one of the other peoples but could not speak Hebrew. [a] 25 I rebuked them, cursed them, beat some of their men, and pulled out their hair. I forced them to take an oath before God and said: "You must not give your daughters in marriage to their sons or take their daughters as wives for your sons or yourselves! 26 Didn't King Solomon of Israel sin in matters like this? There was not a king like him among many nations. He was loved by his God and God made him king over all Israel, yet foreign women drew him into sin. 27 Why then should we hear about you doing all this terrible evil and acting unfaithfully against our God by marrying foreign women?"

Even though Nehemiah had a weird (and painful!) way of making his point, he wanted to remind the Israelites that God didn't like what they were doing. The other nations meant all those that did not worship the One True God. I think that still stands today. There are many other verses but if I put them here I would make one very long post.

Thank you for this question, Sarah.

The first passage from Corinthians goes along with the 'yoke' scripture and in its original context it is Paul under a lot of stress trying to stop a large exodus of christians who were leaving to worship Belial. Consider what he wrote before the yoke scripture:

11 We have spoken freely to you, Corinthians, and opened wide our hearts to you. 12 We are not withholding our affection from you, but you are withholding yours from us. 13 As a fair exchange—I speak as to my children—open wide your hearts also. - (2 Cor. 6:11-13)

He is desperately trying to win over the heart of the christians in Corinth because they are leaving in droves to worship Belial.


As for the other two scriptures, they are from the time when God was still only interested in advancing his chosen people, the Isrealites. In the old testament, God says that one day he shall send a savior to save all people. That day is here and God is interested in saving everyone, not just the Isrealites.

Let all the world look to me for salvation! For I am God; there is no other. - (Isaiah 45:22)

 

[Rachel777]

That makes no sense! I mean.. I don't see your point

Can you explain yourself ?Please

 

[zeroturbulence]

That makes no sense! I mean.. I don't see your point

Can you explain yourself ?Please

Who are you asking?

 

[Rachel777]

To You Zeroturbulence

 

[zeroturbulence]

OK, well what I mean is that when Paul wrote "do not be yoked with unbelievers", and the other scriptures that come after it (the ones Sarah posted from Corinthians), he wasn't talking about couples or marriage at all. He was trying to stop the members of the Corinthian church from leaving to worship Belial.

The other two scriptures are from the Old Testament, before God sent Jesus. During the Old Testament, God wanted to preserve the purity of the Isrealites as a nation because they were God's chosen people. Now.... after Jesus has come, God wants us to now love everyone, just as he does. Jesus did not just die to save the souls of the Isrealites, but everyone's soul. "Love your neighbor as yourself. There is no greater commandment than this." - (Mark 12:31) This is why I believe we are not forbidden to marry or date unbelievers.

We must still be careful though because we must not date someone who can talk us into abandoning our faith. That is where the UNEQUALLY yoked part is important.

 

[GreenNnice]

No chance.

Zere said it: Do not be unequally yoked, which talks of marrying someone or even business can be same way, I think. The Lord ultimately leads but getting involved with an unbeliever is asking for serious trouble in your conscience etc.

How about those non-christians that come on here and tell you you are CRAZY! to believe in someone you've never seen before?

That right there means stress and convinxing them that Jesus is real in your life is one thing IF talking to them generically or platonically. But talk to them about Jesus and you are attracted to them, s-s-s-s o dangerouSTRIKE!