Gossiping friends

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
K

kittypretty282

Guest
#1
#1
Ok so for those of you who are teenage girls or have been one, you know how much we can gossip. I will admit sometimes I have a hard time controlling my temptation not to gossip when it seems like its all anyone is talking about. I am pretty shy, but I do have a couple of close friends I can talk freely and openly to. Ever since my best friend started going to this other school she has been a gossiping machine. I don't want to be a hypocrite and tell her to stop, but it drives me crazy!! It makes me very uncomfortable when she says rude things about some of my most admirable friends. What should I do?? Any suggestions??
 
K

kiwi_OT

Guest
#2
#2
Tell her to shut her trap and that gossip is unnatractive to God as well as guys. And take your own advice as well so she has no reason to call you a hypocrite.
Its hard I know, this is exactly the reason why I stopped hanging out with girls my own age. And also think of this - if shes a heavy gossiper, then its very likely she will gossip about you even inadvertantly. It also shows she lacks relability in sustaining others trust and its because of people like her that rumors occur and get out of hand.
She needs some prayer and tough love from you and you can start by not accepting any form of communication 'hearsay' about others unless its straight from the horses mouth. If you recieve gossip about yourself or someone you care about which concerns you and you are 100% its not true then you need to confront your 'friend'. If you think she will get defensive and throw it back at you then have a trusted teacher or counselor mediate between you. If she still wont stop then you need to reevaluate why you are friends with this person.
 
T

tryingtofindhim

Guest
#4
#4
kittypretty282 said:
Ok so for those of you who are teenage girls or have been one, you know how much we can gossip. I will admit sometimes I have a hard time controlling my temptation not to gossip when it seems like its all anyone is talking about. I am pretty shy, but I do have a couple of close friends I can talk freely and openly to. Ever since my best friend started going to this other school she has been a gossiping machine. I don't want to be a hypocrite and tell her to stop, but it drives me crazy!! It makes me very uncomfortable when she says rude things about some of my most admirable friends. What should I do?? Any suggestions??
Click to expand...
Tell her she can gossip if she likes but please don't gossip in front of you. Also if she's talking bad about your friends, don't just sit there; make sure you stand up for them. :)
<3
 
E

EnochxGenesis

Banned
#5
Oct 13, 2009
237
1
0
#5
aren't you being gossipy by posting this? (think about it)
 
T

tryingtofindhim

Guest
#6
#6
EnochxGenesis said:
aren't you being gossipy by posting this? (think about it)
Click to expand...
gossip:casual or unconstrained conversation or reports about other people, typically involving details that are not confirmed as being true
 
K

Kyra

Guest
#8
#8
ariannaaa said:
hahaha i love it
Click to expand...
I know!! I love your response Kiwi. You are so honest and full on. Kiwi you rock!
It's hard to stand your ground when people want to gossip with you, but the truth is those who gossip cannot be trusted at all and often work to destroy relationships if it will benefit them in any way.

Before you go into confrontation, I encourage you to pray that God will open this girl's heart & mind to actually hear what you are saying and stop. You also might want to pray that God will protect you and show you the right time to confront her and give you the right words. Sometimes it helps to write down what you want to say before hand.

One last thought, this girl may not like you for confronting her and no longer be your friend. If that happens, so be it. Don't be afraid to let go of her, because getting rid of a "friend" who gossips makes room for a friend who doesn't. :)
 
K

Kyra

Guest
#9
#9
For some reason it won't let me post kiwi's qoute in my post so imagine this qoute at the top of my post.

Originally Posted by kiwi_OT

Tell her to shut her trap

 
K

kiwi_OT

Guest
#10
#10
tryingtofindhim said:
Tell her she can gossip if she likes but please don't gossip in front of you. Also if she's talking bad about your friends, don't just sit there; make sure you stand up for them. :)
<3
Click to expand...
No I disagree with that one.. That will very likely backfire because you are then allowing yourself to condone it so long as your not witnessing it, its still occurring though! And I think youd rather know what gossip was being said about your friends than have her hide it behind your back. It will also lead to a breakdown in your friendship. She will respect you less because you have not placed effective boundaries on gossiping, she will definitely not change if you just want to her to hide her gossip under the rug - cos you know what, the mess will then be invisible and even more harder to deal with and then it will blow up in your face
 
K

kiwi_OT

Guest
#11
#11
Kyra said:
I know!! I love your response Kiwi. You are so honest and full on. Kiwi you rock!
Click to expand...
Cheers lol, some people love my bluntness and some people are offended by it. Im like the most honest person ever. Good to go shopping with lol.
 
T

tryingtofindhim

Guest
#12
#12
kiwi_OT said:
No I disagree with that one.. That will very likely backfire because you are then allowing yourself to condone it so long as your not witnessing it, its still occurring though! And I think youd rather know what gossip was being said about your friends than have her hide it behind your back. It will also lead to a breakdown in your friendship. She will respect you less because you have not placed effective boundaries on gossiping, she will definitely not change if you just want to her to hide her gossip under the rug - cos you know what, the mess will then be invisible and even more harder to deal with and then it will blow up in your face
Click to expand...
But its really hard to tell someone what to do. If you say don't gossip, you are telling her what to do. Thats just my opinion though.
 
T

tryingtofindhim

Guest
#13
#13
EnochxGenesis said:
So you're confirming my tbouught then?
Click to expand...
No we don't know this person personally so technically it wouldn't be gossip and gossip is usually to try to hurt another person. This person is just trying to figure out how to deal with a situation that happens to involve another person.
 
C

Cako53

Guest
#14
#14
Gossip isn't always about trying to hurt someone, it can be about getting a better foot hold for yourself, to give your self a higher spot up.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.