How do i choose God when i feel mentally unstable?

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Jan 18, 2019
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#1
How do I choose God? (sorry this is unorganized and long)

Hi. I’ve been afraid a lot of myself. I love Jesus and I’ve been close to him, but I’ve been getting so distracted at home by technology and addictions.

I feel like I give up so easily, and when I do, God wakes me up from my sin hours after I chose to mess up and it terrifies me. I drown so long after I choose sin, I forget I exist, I forget about God.

Apart of me just misses him so much during sin, and it increases the more time that goes on, and that helps me wake up but I just feel stuck in the sin I don’t know how to choose him when my mind feels so broken and stupid. I should read the Bible, I should pray, but how should I do it? Why is it so scary sometimes, when digitally a bible is so close, I could even look up bible verses on anxiety to help me focus on Him.

I constantly hear in my mind I can’t seek God because I can’t choose him. I know deep down I can, but my mind holds me back.

Why do I keep wanting so deeply to forget everything? Only God makes me really feel alive, but a part of me so fearful! It feels so hard to approach God because I can’t choose him like I should! He’s so so close but I am so utterly stupid I can’t choose him!

Sometimes I want to harm myself, not to the point of death or intensely, maybe just a punch to my arm or my face because of how I feel so unstable and lack self-control. I know God forgives me but I just want to try to make amends for so much of my lack of self-control.

I am deeply terrified of this problem. I planned a whole summer to seek God and be with him after I first met him during the school year, but it became a nightmare as I became a disappointment time after time. All the failures are making me lose confidence that I could ever choose God like I should and I’ll be stuck in distractions and addictions trying to forget I exist to forget my disappointment. I need him, but I can’t choose him like I should because of my own sinfulness! I hate myself so much sometimes because I keep holding myself back.

He always pursues me, but how do I choose him when I’m so sinful and my mind keeps trying to pull me to say no? I’m such a coward in not trying more like I should.

I want to receive the peace and loves God gives, but how do I choose him to do so if I keep trying to run away to forget everything. How do I choose him when I’m so sinful and unstable?

What should I do?
 

Wayne_Gearing

Active member
Mar 6, 2020
276
141
43
#2
God guides us in so many ways and it's becoming clear that He guided you here to find help. I too have suffered from severe addiction and I still struggle with a certain dangerous addiction but I found what helps (bear in mind, this is not a one shot, cure all solution)

Like me, you focused in so much on the sin and addiction itself that you forgot to zoom out and look around you. See that tree? God made that! See that bird? God looks after him no matter what and so it continues, starting to see God in all of the small things around you is a good place to start

I was once sitting in an AA meeting and someone said to me "Take it day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute if you have to"... That brought me a much needed relief, I don't need to worry about next week, tomorrow or even the rest of today because it's what I do in the next 5 minutes that counts!

God wants you to talk to Him, even when you are teetering on the verge of sin, you can cry out to Him and He will answer you!
 

Lafftur

Senior Member
Apr 18, 2017
4,207
1,945
113
#3
How do I choose God? (sorry this is unorganized and long)

Hi. I’ve been afraid a lot of myself. I love Jesus and I’ve been close to him, but I’ve been getting so distracted at home by technology and addictions.

I feel like I give up so easily, and when I do, God wakes me up from my sin hours after I chose to mess up and it terrifies me. I drown so long after I choose sin, I forget I exist, I forget about God.

Apart of me just misses him so much during sin, and it increases the more time that goes on, and that helps me wake up but I just feel stuck in the sin I don’t know how to choose him when my mind feels so broken and stupid. I should read the Bible, I should pray, but how should I do it? Why is it so scary sometimes, when digitally a bible is so close, I could even look up bible verses on anxiety to help me focus on Him.

I constantly hear in my mind I can’t seek God because I can’t choose him. I know deep down I can, but my mind holds me back.

Why do I keep wanting so deeply to forget everything? Only God makes me really feel alive, but a part of me so fearful! It feels so hard to approach God because I can’t choose him like I should! He’s so so close but I am so utterly stupid I can’t choose him!

Sometimes I want to harm myself, not to the point of death or intensely, maybe just a punch to my arm or my face because of how I feel so unstable and lack self-control. I know God forgives me but I just want to try to make amends for so much of my lack of self-control.

I am deeply terrified of this problem. I planned a whole summer to seek God and be with him after I first met him during the school year, but it became a nightmare as I became a disappointment time after time. All the failures are making me lose confidence that I could ever choose God like I should and I’ll be stuck in distractions and addictions trying to forget I exist to forget my disappointment. I need him, but I can’t choose him like I should because of my own sinfulness! I hate myself so much sometimes because I keep holding myself back.

He always pursues me, but how do I choose him when I’m so sinful and my mind keeps trying to pull me to say no? I’m such a coward in not trying more like I should.

I want to receive the peace and loves God gives, but how do I choose him to do so if I keep trying to run away to forget everything. How do I choose him when I’m so sinful and unstable?

What should I do?

Just say out loud, "I CHOOSE JESUS, everything else that is not of God - get out of my heart, mind, body and thoughts, in the Name of Jesus!"

"Heavenly Father, Lord Jesus, forgive me of all my sins. I receive the Gift of Salvation and the Gift of Your Holy Spirit. Baptize me with Your Holy Spirit and Fill me. Help me, in the Name of Yeshua/Jesus, amen."
 

Lafftur

Senior Member
Apr 18, 2017
4,207
1,945
113
#4
Clean house, get rid of stuff that you know is not pleasing to God.

Get a healthy lifestyle - eat good food for you, exercise, good hobbies, acts of kindness for others, put yourself on a schedule - plan your time for each day so you don't have any idle time.

God will help you. You are loved. :love:
 
Dec 15, 2016
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#5
Hi just remember we all fail to live a perfect life but god always give us an opprutinity to turn it around God has much love to give but you need to make an effort to seek him out
 
Mar 4, 2020
61
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#6
The very fact that you are even conscious of your sin and that it pains you so much is a testament of your changed heart. Your heart, that small internal aching/feeling that throbs within you to remind you where you messed up and fills you with joy when you succeed is working correctly.

We have a choice each day to listen to this internal mechanism. Start following how your heart is leading you to God, make this a habbit, focus on it daily, and stop ignoring it.

I believe in grace and I absolutely believe your faith in Christ will save you. The flesh is weak, but the spirit is willing: this is the state of every man and woman. No matter how mature a believer is in their ability to stop sinning, there is always one more sin to be knocked down. While on Earth the war between flesh and spirit will continue.

So don't be too hard on yourself, but take sin seriously. It will keep you from living your best possible life as a Child of God. You're going to keep carrying anxiety and depression around with you until you shape up.

I've found in my own personal life when I finally overcome a major sin or a habitual sin that I'll say "woohoo! Praise God, thank you Jesus!" Then another sin emerges that I didn't notice before. Then another one emerges, and another, and another. No one ever fully stops and becomes Jesus. All of those sins - go ahead and pray and confess those to God. Don't hold back any of the gritty, embarrassing, or shameful details from Him. He can take it and isnt a fan if self-righteous attitudes anyway.Ask for help, and wisdom.

I'm in your corner and so is God. Prayers for you. Feel free to PM me any time.