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M
Hi Nat, in my mid teens I got a lot of unwelcome attention,
mostly from wierdos! Ha ha.
At one time I was walking down the road in shorts and T shirt,
it was a blazing hot summer (well it was by UK standards). Everyone was
wearing shorts.
This old bloke in his 60s came up to me and said if only he was 20 years younger
he would take me out for a drink. I told him even if he was 20 years younger he would still
be too old for me!
Another time i was picking blackberries on some fields, my dog was with me so I knew
I was safe. This pasty faced spotty older teen boy started picking them as well and he kept
coming over and putting them in the tub I had with me. I had never seen him before.
Then he said now that deserves a kiss doesn't it. I told him a kiss from him deserved a
bite from the dog, but thanks for the blackberries, and I walked off. He looked really mad
and started following me so I put the dog on the lead and told the dog to get him.
The dog started barking and lunging at him (that's why I put him on the lead ha ha).
Anyway the boy got the message!
Nat unfortunately its almost the norm for teenage girls to get unwelcome
attention. It's one of those things you have to watch out for but it helps if you
decide before hand how to handle it, so it's not so much of a shock.
Best thing to do is keep calm and be assertive - maybe write up some
things and practice saying them, then you won't get all flustered and feel
at a disadvantage.
Grown man can be just as much a nuisance as teens your own age.
mostly from wierdos! Ha ha.
At one time I was walking down the road in shorts and T shirt,
it was a blazing hot summer (well it was by UK standards). Everyone was
wearing shorts.
This old bloke in his 60s came up to me and said if only he was 20 years younger
he would take me out for a drink. I told him even if he was 20 years younger he would still
be too old for me!
Another time i was picking blackberries on some fields, my dog was with me so I knew
I was safe. This pasty faced spotty older teen boy started picking them as well and he kept
coming over and putting them in the tub I had with me. I had never seen him before.
Then he said now that deserves a kiss doesn't it. I told him a kiss from him deserved a
bite from the dog, but thanks for the blackberries, and I walked off. He looked really mad
and started following me so I put the dog on the lead and told the dog to get him.
The dog started barking and lunging at him (that's why I put him on the lead ha ha).
Anyway the boy got the message!
Nat unfortunately its almost the norm for teenage girls to get unwelcome
attention. It's one of those things you have to watch out for but it helps if you
decide before hand how to handle it, so it's not so much of a shock.
Best thing to do is keep calm and be assertive - maybe write up some
things and practice saying them, then you won't get all flustered and feel
at a disadvantage.
Grown man can be just as much a nuisance as teens your own age.
But, I do want you to remember something. Every young boy who awkwardly approaches you is just as inexperienced and unsure as you are. Like you, they are experimenting with introductions, associations, and the quite natural social interaction called "flirtation." You both are sailing in waters fairly uncharted, and are bound to run aground now and then.
For many of these guys, all they know, or have ever seen is what is on TV, in the movies, or what some slightly older teen has told them is the way he "operates". And that older friend is usually lying to him in order to impress him.
Unfortunately, you lack the confidence and maturity to do as some of your older sisters here would do, and just calmly inform him that "this is not the way to interact with girls, and I want you to leave me alone until you can come back and introduce yourself like a man, instead of acting like an overly hormone fueled child."
Girls seldom understand the power they possess in a young man's development, even at their own young age. (I'm not saying this supposed "responsibility" is fair... but it is nonetheless, factual.) As you know, I have worked with Sex Offenders for about twice as long as you have been alive. And, frankly, the larger percentage of offenders are no more than young men who have grown up with what we call "Faulty Learning." They formed opinions or perceptions of who and what girls (later, "women") are, and how they fit into the world of dealing with relationships with them.
If your response to a boy's approach is "No", then it is "NO", and that is your right. But I am only asking that when you tell him that, you look at him, knowing (as he should do with you) that he is one of God's creations, and that, perhaps, this moment you two are engaging in is a moment God has orchestrated for you both to experiment with a new kind of communication, to learn from, and to grow. In other words, neither of you should walk away from this thinking either "Idiot!" or "Frigid Ice Queen!" (And, "Yes" I greatly softened both those terms.)
As you grow older, you will encounter both men and women with some very rigid and inflexibly warped views of the opposite gender. Please don't let yourself become one of them... or help create a man with the same messed-up view.
Ok, enough preaching here. I have to get ready to go to church and do some more there.
For many of these guys, all they know, or have ever seen is what is on TV, in the movies, or what some slightly older teen has told them is the way he "operates". And that older friend is usually lying to him in order to impress him.
Unfortunately, you lack the confidence and maturity to do as some of your older sisters here would do, and just calmly inform him that "this is not the way to interact with girls, and I want you to leave me alone until you can come back and introduce yourself like a man, instead of acting like an overly hormone fueled child."
Girls seldom understand the power they possess in a young man's development, even at their own young age. (I'm not saying this supposed "responsibility" is fair... but it is nonetheless, factual.) As you know, I have worked with Sex Offenders for about twice as long as you have been alive. And, frankly, the larger percentage of offenders are no more than young men who have grown up with what we call "Faulty Learning." They formed opinions or perceptions of who and what girls (later, "women") are, and how they fit into the world of dealing with relationships with them.
If your response to a boy's approach is "No", then it is "NO", and that is your right. But I am only asking that when you tell him that, you look at him, knowing (as he should do with you) that he is one of God's creations, and that, perhaps, this moment you two are engaging in is a moment God has orchestrated for you both to experiment with a new kind of communication, to learn from, and to grow. In other words, neither of you should walk away from this thinking either "Idiot!" or "Frigid Ice Queen!" (And, "Yes" I greatly softened both those terms.)
As you grow older, you will encounter both men and women with some very rigid and inflexibly warped views of the opposite gender. Please don't let yourself become one of them... or help create a man with the same messed-up view.
Ok, enough preaching here. I have to get ready to go to church and do some more there.
Ill just add a bit of explanation to that
The thing is that a woman can bring out the good or the bad in a guy. The way a woman interacts with a man has a bigger influence in that persons life than if another guy said so. Thats simply the way they are created. Which is why there is ''killing with kindness'' unless he just wont stawp. Best is just tell him no and be honest IF he asks why. Tell him you dont feel ready and done. If you try to twist and do it will have a effect in his sub-conscience that can follow him around unknowinly. Dont sugarcoat. Just say it the way it is. You cannot say no without hurting him somewhere, but playing around with him and giving false hopes ...no ..just no
The thing is that a woman can bring out the good or the bad in a guy. The way a woman interacts with a man has a bigger influence in that persons life than if another guy said so. Thats simply the way they are created. Which is why there is ''killing with kindness'' unless he just wont stawp. Best is just tell him no and be honest IF he asks why. Tell him you dont feel ready and done. If you try to twist and do it will have a effect in his sub-conscience that can follow him around unknowinly. Dont sugarcoat. Just say it the way it is. You cannot say no without hurting him somewhere, but playing around with him and giving false hopes ...no ..just no
