I don’t want to dwell on the past when God has a brighter future

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Mar 24, 2020
Lately I’ve been feeling myself get back into my old habits and ways of thinking that are unlike God, I know that the thoughts I’m thinking aren’t true and that their simply the product of anxiety, but I still let them control and influence my life, I’m still letting fear hold me back from doing Gods will (although I’ve been working to overcome it) but it’s so hard because lately I’ve been feeling depressed again and my anxiety has been getting worse I thought I was past all of this, I don’t want to go back to thinking horrible thoughts everyday, hurting myself in multiple ways, I don’t want to be deprived of everything i know God wants to give me. I know exactly what I want and that’s God, I just want to love God I just want to do his will and be faithful to his words but yet why is that so hard? I know it’s my fault I don’t have friends because I let my anxiety get in my head and convince me that I’m a burden to everyone around me! But I also know that God does want me and what’s best for me lately I’ve just been having such a heavy heart I wish I had friends that loved God, not just lukewarm Christians but true love for God the kind we should have, but it seems most kids in schools these days just aren’t in love with God like that. I’m tired of hating myself, Lord please reatore me, amen!