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M1chaeL

New member
Jan 18, 2019
16
14
3
#1
When I was suicidal, all i wanted to be was in a more stable place. After looking and going to so many things, i finally went to God and felt loved! Before I searched to be cared for by other people, and after that I finally felt like i wouldn't be a bother, but things haven't felt so good as time has gone on. Over stressing about homework, and the addiction sneaking up on me has made life hard. I don't know if anti depressant could help, I've felt like I've been going insane at times. While I've felt like I've had a good relationship with God, when I talk to other Christians, I can't help but feel like I know nothing and all i am is scum. I love talking to God about things, and giving thanks to him, but I can't help but feel like I'm a pathetic, good-for-nothing scoundrel. I say these things because I want to acknowledge that I know I am bad and I'm sorry for existing and staining the world with my presence.
 

M1sty

New member
Jul 3, 2019
1
2
1
#2
I relate to this a lot. I read your posts and I related to all of them actually. I'm not great with words but just know that you're not staining the world. You exist for a reason. I appreciate you being here. So what you don't know the bible inside and out? God knows your heart and what it holds and that's all that matters. Like I said I'm not good with words but you captured exactly how I felt. This bible verse always helps me. I thought maybe it can help you too. Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you", declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, to give you an expected end." I don't know if that helps but, just know that sometimes we're our own worst critic. You are beautifully and wonderfully made. YOU are. My heart broke seeing your post because it reminded me of where I was recently and I just knew I needed to reply. I hope you learn to love yourself. You're worthy of it.
 

mar09

Senior Member
Sep 17, 2014
4,292
706
113
#3
Micheal,

I can only lead you to His words: Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is good... think about such things! Go back to what God says, and be transformed by the renewing of your mind. God bless.
 

stonesoffire

Poetic Member
Nov 24, 2013
10,095
1,532
113
#4
When I was suicidal, all i wanted to be was in a more stable place. After looking and going to so many things, i finally went to God and felt loved! Before I searched to be cared for by other people, and after that I finally felt like i wouldn't be a bother, but things haven't felt so good as time has gone on. Over stressing about homework, and the addiction sneaking up on me has made life hard. I don't know if anti depressant could help, I've felt like I've been going insane at times. While I've felt like I've had a good relationship with God, when I talk to other Christians, I can't help but feel like I know nothing and all i am is scum. I love talking to God about things, and giving thanks to him, but I can't help but feel like I'm a pathetic, good-for-nothing scoundrel. I say these things because I want to acknowledge that I know I am bad and I'm sorry for existing and staining the world with my presence.
Michael

Am not a teen by any means but my heart goes out to you in your pain. I felt this way when first born again, years ago and struggled with depression. Jesus delivered me and have been free ever since.

He wants to teach you things you don’t yet understand. The first is He’s not concerned with how you may be now. It’s His job to change you, not yours. And you may be judging yourself too harshly. Second thing is we aren’t judged. He has freed us all from condemnation.

You need His joy and He is more than willing to give this to you.

Am hoping this poem that He gave me will help you.



Offerings

What could I offer to You O My King?
What is of worth, would I have to You bring?

Nothing but purest of gifts are You worthy..
My hands and my heart seem so empty..

My Child, it's not sacrifice that I am pleased with
I gave You the best gift that man cannot match.

It's your yes and amen, I believe You My Father
Yes Lord I trust You...my heart is stedfast..

But is that enough O My Father to trust You?
Can I stand fast in the day of our trouble?
What will we do when our days rise up evil?
And darkness is covering this land?

You shine like the Son with the light I have given
My Child it is brighter than day of your sun.
I've given you oil in your lamp and will guide you
Your footsteps won't falter, your race will be won.

I'm asking you stand and confess what I tell you
Stand and confess what you see with my eyes
For others You'll stand as the rock in my temple
Leading and guiding them home.

This is the offering with which you will please me.
Of mankind that's lost yet in darkness of sin
To be as My own Son in giving Me full heart
No other gift precious as life full of Him.

I'll pour in you oil that is that which is purest
The oil that flowed out of My Sons sacrifice
The first drops of oil that is golden and clearest
The bruising of healing oil flowing of love.

As healing drops flow over wounds of long standing
the light of My Presence will glow forth of glory.
I'll shine ever brighter in lives of this flowing..
My oil is the source, and you Child are the Bride. .

My Son is now ready and waiting for my call
To rise up and open the door to His Bride..
It's soon O my Children, this world soon is passing
Your King is coming...His light will abide.

This is the gift of you that I would ask Child.
Your faith in believing releases My oil
It's light is for leading those yet who are captured
in places of darkness, alone, and forlorn.

In the name of Jesus Christ, I bind lying spirits and command them to stop speaking to this son of our Lord and Saviour.
 

Leastamongmany

Well-known member
Jun 2, 2019
3,270
1,247
113
Usa
#5
ALL these beautiful hearts have spoken encouraging words to you ,Michael! Hear them! You are precious to him!I am praying for you!🙏🙏🙏🙏
 

Leastamongmany

Well-known member
Jun 2, 2019
3,270
1,247
113
Usa
#6
Michael

Am not a teen by any means but my heart goes out to you in your pain. I felt this way when first born again, years ago and struggled with depression. Jesus delivered me and have been free ever since.

He wants to teach you things you don’t yet understand. The first is He’s not concerned with how you may be now. It’s His job to change you, not yours. And you may be judging yourself too harshly. Second thing is we aren’t judged. He has freed us all from condemnation.

You need His joy and He is more than willing to give this to you.

Am hoping this poem that He gave me will help you.



Offerings

What could I offer to You O My King?
What is of worth, would I have to You bring?

Nothing but purest of gifts are You worthy..
My hands and my heart seem so empty..

My Child, it's not sacrifice that I am pleased with
I gave You the best gift that man cannot match.

It's your yes and amen, I believe You My Father
Yes Lord I trust You...my heart is stedfast..

But is that enough O My Father to trust You?
Can I stand fast in the day of our trouble?
What will we do when our days rise up evil?
And darkness is covering this land?

You shine like the Son with the light I have given
My Child it is brighter than day of your sun.
I've given you oil in your lamp and will guide you
Your footsteps won't falter, your race will be won.

I'm asking you stand and confess what I tell you
Stand and confess what you see with my eyes
For others You'll stand as the rock in my temple
Leading and guiding them home.

This is the offering with which you will please me.
Of mankind that's lost yet in darkness of sin
To be as My own Son in giving Me full heart
No other gift precious as life full of Him.

I'll pour in you oil that is that which is purest
The oil that flowed out of My Sons sacrifice
The first drops of oil that is golden and clearest
The bruising of healing oil flowing of love.

As healing drops flow over wounds of long standing
the light of My Presence will glow forth of glory.
I'll shine ever brighter in lives of this flowing..
My oil is the source, and you Child are the Bride. .

My Son is now ready and waiting for my call
To rise up and open the door to His Bride..
It's soon O my Children, this world soon is passing
Your King is coming...His light will abide.

This is the gift of you that I would ask Child.
Your faith in believing releases My oil
It's light is for leading those yet who are captured
in places of darkness, alone, and forlorn.

In the name of Jesus Christ, I bind lying spirits and command them to stop speaking to this son of our Lord and Saviour.
Wow !!!!!You touched my heart with your love and the poem. Thank you! Blessings🙏
 

stonesoffire

Poetic Member
Nov 24, 2013
10,095
1,532
113
#9
Thank you for sharing it! Did God give it to you?

Yes sister. I never wrote poetically before this first poem. Now, I have about 17. But, it’s what I hear inside.

I saw that you like poetry too. Ask Him for the gift if you haven’t already. It’s prophecy but in writing.

The New Testament has poems originally and are found in the ISV. I didn’t know this until recently.
 

Leastamongmany

Well-known member
Jun 2, 2019
3,270
1,247
113
Usa
#10
Yes sister. I never wrote poetically before this first poem. Now, I have about 17. But, it’s what I hear inside.

I saw that you like poetry too. Ask Him for the gift if you haven’t already. It’s prophecy but in writing.

The New Testament has poems originally and are found in the ISV. I didn’t know this until recently.
I have been so blessed! I have written poems to and for ppl as God gave them to me! I love words,love to search,study write and read them!😊🙏 Would love to read your others also. Dusty Rhodes blesses me with his words!🙏
 

Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
26,836
5,362
113
#11
Micheal,

I can only lead you to His words: Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is good... think about such things! Go back to what God says, and be transformed by the renewing of your mind. God bless.


:)
 

stonesoffire

Poetic Member
Nov 24, 2013
10,095
1,532
113
#12
I have been so blessed! I have written poems to and for ppl as God gave them to me! I love words,love to search,study write and read them!😊🙏 Would love to read your others also. Dusty Rhodes blesses me with his words!🙏
You must be my spiritual twin. Lol
 

stonesoffire

Poetic Member
Nov 24, 2013
10,095
1,532
113
#13
I tried to start a private discussion but your settings don't accept. Am not posting my blogs site publically. Have you posted your work in the poetry forum?

I think all my poems or most anyway are on it but probably far back.

There's really great poetry coming now from others.
 

ohstacy

New member
Jul 5, 2019
3
11
3
13
South Africa
#14
We all feel isolated at times. Like you are in a deep black hole and cant climb out. But it blows over. And God sometimes makes the hole shallow again.
 

M1chaeL

New member
Jan 18, 2019
16
14
3
#15
Hi! I’ve been gone for while from chat... but everything seems so warm and kind here! The days away God has helped me find peace and happiness in his teaching and helping me understand what to do. I haven’t talked to other Christians in a while and seeing all these posts made me cry with emotion. Your kindness is appreciated!
 

Leastamongmany

Well-known member
Jun 2, 2019
3,270
1,247
113
Usa
#16
Blessings and thank you Michael! God is so loving and faithful to be that help in present trouble! I am thankful that He has renewed your way of thinking! You are precious and He sees your value. My prayers will continue for you in direction,comfort,strength,and faith in your life!
 
Aug 3, 2019
73
75
18
#17
When I was suicidal, all i wanted to be was in a more stable place. After looking and going to so many things, i finally went to God and felt loved! Before I searched to be cared for by other people, and after that I finally felt like i wouldn't be a bother, but things haven't felt so good as time has gone on. Over stressing about homework, and the addiction sneaking up on me has made life hard. I don't know if anti depressant could help, I've felt like I've been going insane at times. While I've felt like I've had a good relationship with God, when I talk to other Christians, I can't help but feel like I know nothing and all i am is scum. I love talking to God about things, and giving thanks to him, but I can't help but feel like I'm a pathetic, good-for-nothing scoundrel. I say these things because I want to acknowledge that I know I am bad and I'm sorry for existing and staining the world with my presence.
Hello again M1chaeL, It's so good to know that you have gone to God with your problems, keep going to church, reading your Bible, and praying, they will all help. It's good to know you recognize you have issues, but you have to remember, we all do. You would be amazed how many people feel the same as you, don't let it overwhelm you. Remember, God made you, exactly as you are, He did it for a reason, and He never makes mistakes. You are not scum, pathetic, or good for nothing. You are God's child, a child of the one true King! We all grow in the Lord at different speeds, but we don't stop growing until the end of our lives. Even Pastors do wrong things, don't know everything, and strive to grow. Have you spoken to your parents how you feel? They would have to take you to a doctor for anti-depressants, but yes, they might be a great help for you. To make more friends, you need to be friendly and available, fun and likeable, helpful and caring. Instead of looking to them to care about you, find ways to show them you care about them. Prayers!!
 

Roughsoul1991

Senior Member
Sep 17, 2016
2,415
237
63
#18
When I was suicidal, all i wanted to be was in a more stable place. After looking and going to so many things, i finally went to God and felt loved! Before I searched to be cared for by other people, and after that I finally felt like i wouldn't be a bother, but things haven't felt so good as time has gone on. Over stressing about homework, and the addiction sneaking up on me has made life hard. I don't know if anti depressant could help, I've felt like I've been going insane at times. While I've felt like I've had a good relationship with God, when I talk to other Christians, I can't help but feel like I know nothing and all i am is scum. I love talking to God about things, and giving thanks to him, but I can't help but feel like I'm a pathetic, good-for-nothing scoundrel. I say these things because I want to acknowledge that I know I am bad and I'm sorry for existing and staining the world with my presence.
Hello,

I will give some ideas. Realistically feelings are often times unreliable. Feelings change. Who are you? How do you define your identity? Is your identity structured around pleasing others? Not to bother others?

Your identity is in Christ. The only opinion that matters is what does God think of you. What does God say your identity is.

Depression can be helped with medication but only after seeing a licensed psychiatrist. Improving stress management will help with many issues.

Tell your Christian friends about these feelings. Be honest and I truly believe it is just the prince of lies or the Devil planting these thoughts.

The closer you try to grow to God the more evident the tactics of the evil one becomes. The quicker you learn your enemies tactics the faster you learn how to defend, counter and attack the enemy.

Remember your a trinity of mind, body, and soul. Stress affects your body, your mind reacts, and your soul if ignored will continue to allow evil to work in the chaos of the mind and body.

You have to address all 3. Not every illness is a result of evil. Could be body ( chemical imbalance in the brain) or mind ( hidden trauma, hidden stress, or past issues) or soul ( evil can be attacking by whispering lies or temptations like suicide)

If evil can persuade suicide then God's plan for you is cut short and everyone who loves you will be severely hurt for a lifetime.

Just hang in there. Be proactive in your mental care because what you practice now as a teenager will carry over into adulthood. And adulthood doesn't get any less stressful.
 
Aug 3, 2019
73
75
18
#19
Hello,

I will give some ideas. Realistically feelings are often times unreliable. Feelings change. Who are you? How do you define your identity? Is your identity structured around pleasing others? Not to bother others?

Your identity is in Christ. The only opinion that matters is what does God think of you. What does God say your identity is.

Depression can be helped with medication but only after seeing a licensed psychiatrist. Improving stress management will help with many issues.

Tell your Christian friends about these feelings. Be honest and I truly believe it is just the prince of lies or the Devil planting these thoughts.

The closer you try to grow to God the more evident the tactics of the evil one becomes. The quicker you learn your enemies tactics the faster you learn how to defend, counter and attack the enemy.

Remember your a trinity of mind, body, and soul. Stress affects your body, your mind reacts, and your soul if ignored will continue to allow evil to work in the chaos of the mind and body.

You have to address all 3. Not every illness is a result of evil. Could be body ( chemical imbalance in the brain) or mind ( hidden trauma, hidden stress, or past issues) or soul ( evil can be attacking by whispering lies or temptations like suicide)

If evil can persuade suicide then God's plan for you is cut short and everyone who loves you will be severely hurt for a lifetime.

Just hang in there. Be proactive in your mental care because what you practice now as a teenager will carry over into adulthood. And adulthood doesn't get any less stressful.

One correction.....a regular physician can prescribe anti-depressants, I've been on them for years due to past abuse, never seen a psychiatrist. Otherwise, good message.
 

Roughsoul1991

Senior Member
Sep 17, 2016
2,415
237
63
#20
One correction.....a regular physician can prescribe anti-depressants, I've been on them for years due to past abuse, never seen a psychiatrist. Otherwise, good message.
Yes but a regular physician looks at the symptoms and is not fully trained in psychology to treat the cause. A mental illness in my opinion should be looked deeper into. For example a psychiatrist may can help someone with the trauma and techniques on how to grow through past abuse but a physician will just see the depression and prescribe the antidepressant without spending weeks, months, or even years treating the underlying mental problems. Technically just medicating and not curing.

My therapist helped me greatly in dealing with anxiety and depression without meds. It's not easy but I learned a great deal about myself. It was on the edge of completely isolating me from the world as my therapist and God helped pull me back.