Self Image Issues

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Mar 4, 2011
107
3
18
#1
Hi all,

I'm not really sure how to start but I've been bullied everywhere since I was really young that it has affected my own self image sometimes i'm on the verge of ending it all not really sure how to go on at times.
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
67,715
5,592
113
#2
Suicide is never an option, nor a solution. Our life is not ours to take, it belongs to God and only HE decides when our time is here..

If you've been bullied because of your looks, can you try doing something about them, instead of contemplating suicide?
 

calibob

Sinner saved by grace
May 29, 2018
5,126
3,583
113
65
lawton ok
#3
Look at my avitar the read my signature. See the sandpiper? see it's reflection? People wath a poor self image often pick on those they are jeaous of bringing someone down to their level makes them feel better about themselves . I don't know the medical or psychiatric term for them but they are a little sick. Don't let their psychoses cause you harm. Your smarter, better and more honest than them. Bullies are jerks, it's OK to dislike them. That's my 2 cents worth.
 
C

CandieM

Guest
#4
Look at my avitar the read my signature. See the sandpiper? see it's reflection? People wath a poor self image often pick on those they are jeaous of bringing someone down to their level makes them feel better about themselves . I don't know the medical or psychiatric term for them but they are a little sick. Don't let their psychoses cause you harm. Your smarter, better and more honest than them. Bullies are jerks, it's OK to dislike them. That's my 2 cents worth.
Narcissists. I was raised by one. Love is so integral to a persons existence that sometimes we will take inordinate amounts of pain in order to feed an illusion of love. Toxic love. This is pretty much the whole world now. This world is so ridiculously unfair.

Hi all,

I'm not really sure how to start but I've been bullied everywhere since I was really young that it has affected my own self image sometimes i'm on the verge of ending it all not really sure how to go on at times.
I'm sorry you endure this. You aren't alone. The people putting you down don't like themselves. The fact that you feel this way speaks volumes about the people who antagonize you.
 
Aug 2, 2009
22,535
2,320
113
#5
Please watch this. Its only 2 minutes long. This guy gives very good, down to earth advice. He also has more advice on confidence and self-esteem in other videos. I am dealing with the same sort of issues, and was bullied a lot too.

 

Subhumanoidal

Well-known member
Sep 17, 2018
1,132
948
113
#6
Look at my avitar the read my signature. See the sandpiper? see it's reflection? People wath a poor self image often pick on those they are jeaous of bringing someone down to their level makes them feel better about themselves . I don't know the medical or psychiatric term for them but they are a little sick. Don't let their psychoses cause you harm. Your smarter, better and more honest than them. Bullies are jerks, it's OK to dislike them. That's my 2 cents worth.
I dislike this mentality you use at the end. Encouraging victims to use the same mindset as their bullies won't help anyone.
Bullies often put people down to feel better about themselves, so how is that different than your advice to view them as unintelligent, dishonest and lesser than? Isn't that justifying putting one down to build yourself up?
 

Subhumanoidal

Well-known member
Sep 17, 2018
1,132
948
113
#7
Narcissists. I was raised by one. Love is so integral to a persons existence that sometimes we will take inordinate amounts of pain in order to feed an illusion of love. Toxic love. This is pretty much the whole world now. This world is so ridiculously unfair.



I'm sorry you endure this. You aren't alone. The people putting you down don't like themselves. The fact that you feel this way speaks volumes about the people who antagonize you.
It cant be so quickly labeled narcissism. If a child is raised being mistreated and knows nothing else, then continues with the only behavior he knows is that narcissistic

People often feel justified in putting down bullies. Perhaps the bully knows he'll be viewed negatively and feels, though his own mistreatment, he deserves to be viewed this way.
Most likely the thing most bullies need is to see acceptance and love modeled and even felt.
It's well known children will attempt to live up to (or down to) the expectations placed on them given the right motivation.
 

calibob

Sinner saved by grace
May 29, 2018
5,126
3,583
113
65
lawton ok
#8
I dislike this mentality you use at the end. Encouraging victims to use the same mindset as their bullies won't help anyone.
Bullies often put people down to feel better about themselves, so how is that different than your advice to view them as unintelligent, dishonest and lesser than? Isn't that justifying putting one down to build yourself up?
because I have been bullied and I felt lesser than and I have considered suicide too. I have a background in suicide prevention now and the victim was talking about suicide.
 
C

CandieM

Guest
#9
It cant be so quickly labeled narcissism. If a child is raised being mistreated and knows nothing else, then continues with the only behavior he knows is that narcissistic

People often feel justified in putting down bullies. Perhaps the bully knows he'll be viewed negatively and feels, though his own mistreatment, he deserves to be viewed this way.
Most likely the thing most bullies need is to see acceptance and love modeled and even felt.
It's well known children will attempt to live up to (or down to) the expectations placed on them given the right motivation.
I'm not saying it's all narcissism. A lot of it is but not all of it is narcissism. As a child, I was a lot like my mother. I shared her narcissistic tendencies and I bullied kids psychologically. Of course, I got caught. A true narcissist normally doesn't get caught because they are masters at playing the victim. Perhaps the OP is the one to tell whether or not the people who bully them are seldom ever caught or are watched by the faculty and staff at school.

It's one thing to have sympathy for a bully but another to condone what they do because of pity. Pity helps no one, not even the victim, and I assure you I've been a victim of many things in my life. In this instance I told very few people because I knew that I was either going to be falsely accused or because the bully was pitied so much that no one took my side. It was hard on me because I was bullied at school and then I went home to bullying, screaming and beatings. No one had my side. Also, I had no friends.

I'm not saying that all bullies are narcissist. Some of them bully because it's their sense of humor, which means that they make fun of others in other in order to feel cool, but not to really hurt anyone. Being teased if their sense of humor, which applies to them as well as the people they are making fun of. Others bully because they were bullied by narcissists and they are only mirroring the pain, but it doesn't mean that they are full-blown ─ this was me when I was between 5 to 12 years old.

My perspective is definitely a lot larger than labeling anyone who bullies another person as a narcissist.
No, it's definitely not like that. Not at all. I'd know.
 

Lillywolf

Well-known member
Aug 29, 2018
1,562
534
113
#10
Hi all,

I'm not really sure how to start but I've been bullied everywhere since I was really young that it has affected my own self image sometimes i'm on the verge of ending it all not really sure how to go on at times.
Bullies are cowards. If you end your life due to their abuse they win. And since they're losers that would be a real loss to this world. You are a unique one of a kind. When you pass away there will never ever be a masterspiece like you anywhere ever. Masterspiece is that you are God's creation. Made in the image and likeness of God were the first humans. And ever since that time all people are too. Because every characteristic of reproduction in the human race is there by God's design. And our soul is given us by his breath.
You live because God has a plan for you. Release the pain bullies installed and open to the peace God has planned. You'll overcome the bullies and you'll live the dream.
My prayers are with you. I too was bullied as a kid. Then I realized, I wasn't what the bullies said I was, what they called me was their language that was telling me they were jealous and afraid of someone who didn't fit their ideal way to be. Their ideal way to be however was exhibited as cowardly hate filled bullies. Why would I be upset I didn't meet their criteria?

Hope that helps. Be you! You're one of a kind and there shall never be another. You have a mission. Forget the bullies. Let God deal with them. You follow his lead and you'll soar all the days of your life.

YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL! :) Welcome to CC. God loves you. And so do I.

And you play the guitar? That's a gift, being a musician. See? You're already on your way to what God has planned. Me? I look at a sheet of music and have no idea. I'm not musically inclined. But I can hum like a champ. :p
 
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CandieM

Guest
#11
Flash forward to my 27th year: no, I'm not a bully. In fact, I'm very reclusive. There was an ex-friend that I had who regularly made fun of me and laughed at me every chance she could get. Since then, I've moved on and forgiven her, but because I was deeply connected to two new kittens that I helped raise about a year ago, it was ridiculously painful for me to let go. Lo and behold, I did let go. She will always be in my heart because of how beautiful of a person she is in my eyes, no matter how she treats people. ... Her older sister was the ultimate reason for her attitude problem. Not her.
 

Lillywolf

Well-known member
Aug 29, 2018
1,562
534
113
#12
Hi all,

I'm not really sure how to start but I've been bullied everywhere since I was really young that it has affected my own self image sometimes i'm on the verge of ending it all not really sure how to go on at times.
I saved this from an email I received years ago. Passing it along. Hope it helps.

 

LightBright

Senior Member
Mar 18, 2017
2,152
839
113
19
#13
Hi all,

I'm not really sure how to start but I've been bullied everywhere since I was really young that it has affected my own self image sometimes i'm on the verge of ending it all not really sure how to go on at times.
Man i totally get what you mean it got so bad for me that my step dad at the time would call me ugly or gay so yea i think i understand but honestly Christ has helped more than anything, what i wear or how i look are irrelevant or even the way i act i just don't care anymore because i have value given by God nothings going to take that from me. BUUUTTT if you also want to be more practical maybe just change a few things that you're comfortable changing about yourself like a hairstyle or something, i think i look a lot less like a girl with locs XD. Simple things like eating healthier, getting better facial care, or working out can drastically improve your confidence so ye that's all i have to say ig hope it helps
 
C

CandieM

Guest
#14
I saved this from an email I received years ago. Passing it along. Hope it helps.

What helps me arrive to forgiveness is thinking of all the attributes the person had that made me like them in the first place. Everyone has good and bad in them. No one is totally good or totally bad. (This is how I see it, but I have met people who truly believe that some people are purely good with zero bad in them. I don't and never will.) Anyway, if I focus on the attributes that this person had that gave me something in this journey of life, then I can forgive them because I know the same applies to me. You leave the bad parts of people behind, but the good parts of people stay in your heart, even if you cut ties with them and never speak to them again.

It's funny how I've known so many people and learned so much from them, but I don't really keep any friends and I'm mostly a recluse. People have claimed I have a lot of wisdom ─ I'm not entirely impressed with it ─ but wisdom comes from life experiences. How can you have a lot of those if you live inside your own personal shell that contains little to no people? How odd.

This is great, by the way.
 

YHello

Well-known member
Aug 12, 2018
507
254
63
#15
I want to say as someone who has been bullied that God will use this situation you are going through to inspire so other kids who many be going through what you are going through. In Christ we are more than conquerors. What does a more than a conquer look like? God using what satan tried to take us out with and us it to help someone else who's in the same shoes. But we gotta allow Him and invite Him.