F
Closing from our last conversation, it was very apparent...that I lacked some very crucial insight into how to properly live as a Christian man in today's world.
I always had my suspicion...that I was an outsider to society. Even more so, an outsider to groups. I never fit in anywhere, even closed groups who couldn't generally fit in with society. People would tell me that I look like someone who's got things going on, but that there was something off about me.
This infuriated me, and served as the basis for my frustration with God...it made me ask the question "Why am I so different? Why cant I pull together with people?"
I just had an interview for a corporate account manager position...a salaried job that would have allowed me to live on my own. The man I interviewed with went through the process, and as I asked questions...he went off tangent, and asked me directly...
" [Funrider], I have a question. Is there something in this interview you're not telling me?"
...I can sense things from people, and I felt the LORD tugging at me to share my story, so I did.
What I told him wasn't important. It was some life details. I shared who I was.
What WAS imporant, was how he replied:
" [Funrider], you present yourself well, and you aced the interview in terms of answering all the questions properly...but I have to be honest with you...something is off about you...something is weird about how you answered your questions, and moreso, it's also weird that, you present yourself so well, and come across as a successful professional, yet, I look at your resume, and you seem to have had trouble holding down a job for longer than 3-6 months. I cant read you. I dont get it. I want to hire you, but something isn't adding up"
Now, so that you're aware, this "weirdness" he's referring to...I have battled God on this for YEARS on why he made me weird. I never liked it...but anyway, back to the interview...he said that in March, he will have a definite plan on moving forward. He told me to call him if any questions pop up about the job.
I corresponded with family and friends on the matter. Apparently, from family and friends...I seem to be someone who isn't easy to get along with. I tend to be opinionated, and stand strongly on issues even if they're not popular...well, to the point where it affects my ability to get along with others.
From my mentor, I seem to be lacking in emotional maturity and experience. Intellectually, I am a genius. Emotionally, I'm like a child. This isn't good for me, as I am trying to build both a profitable business network, and bring people closer to Christ.
In short, I have been told I am rather eccentric in nature. I am not pleased with that.
I thought God could fix me up, or at least give me wisdom and insight on how to fix it.
The problem I have is...I keep running in circles, losing money, and most scary...losing TIME. I'm 26, yes, but I have a lot of responsibilities I need to own up to, and I CAN...if it werent for my inability to connect with people. This is the one gripe I had.
I dont blame God anymore, but at the same time, what can I expect from the LORD in terms of healing or restoration? I just got done reading Romans, and going through 1 Corinthians. I understand the need to stick close to Jesus, and what I'm called to do, but if I'm operating on faulty machinery, is God not the master mechanic who can fix the problem?
(I intend for this to be a much briefer conversation).
I always had my suspicion...that I was an outsider to society. Even more so, an outsider to groups. I never fit in anywhere, even closed groups who couldn't generally fit in with society. People would tell me that I look like someone who's got things going on, but that there was something off about me.
This infuriated me, and served as the basis for my frustration with God...it made me ask the question "Why am I so different? Why cant I pull together with people?"
I just had an interview for a corporate account manager position...a salaried job that would have allowed me to live on my own. The man I interviewed with went through the process, and as I asked questions...he went off tangent, and asked me directly...
" [Funrider], I have a question. Is there something in this interview you're not telling me?"
...I can sense things from people, and I felt the LORD tugging at me to share my story, so I did.
What I told him wasn't important. It was some life details. I shared who I was.
What WAS imporant, was how he replied:
" [Funrider], you present yourself well, and you aced the interview in terms of answering all the questions properly...but I have to be honest with you...something is off about you...something is weird about how you answered your questions, and moreso, it's also weird that, you present yourself so well, and come across as a successful professional, yet, I look at your resume, and you seem to have had trouble holding down a job for longer than 3-6 months. I cant read you. I dont get it. I want to hire you, but something isn't adding up"
Now, so that you're aware, this "weirdness" he's referring to...I have battled God on this for YEARS on why he made me weird. I never liked it...but anyway, back to the interview...he said that in March, he will have a definite plan on moving forward. He told me to call him if any questions pop up about the job.
I corresponded with family and friends on the matter. Apparently, from family and friends...I seem to be someone who isn't easy to get along with. I tend to be opinionated, and stand strongly on issues even if they're not popular...well, to the point where it affects my ability to get along with others.
From my mentor, I seem to be lacking in emotional maturity and experience. Intellectually, I am a genius. Emotionally, I'm like a child. This isn't good for me, as I am trying to build both a profitable business network, and bring people closer to Christ.
In short, I have been told I am rather eccentric in nature. I am not pleased with that.
I thought God could fix me up, or at least give me wisdom and insight on how to fix it.
The problem I have is...I keep running in circles, losing money, and most scary...losing TIME. I'm 26, yes, but I have a lot of responsibilities I need to own up to, and I CAN...if it werent for my inability to connect with people. This is the one gripe I had.
I dont blame God anymore, but at the same time, what can I expect from the LORD in terms of healing or restoration? I just got done reading Romans, and going through 1 Corinthians. I understand the need to stick close to Jesus, and what I'm called to do, but if I'm operating on faulty machinery, is God not the master mechanic who can fix the problem?
(I intend for this to be a much briefer conversation).