Dating as a Christian

[Crisellys]

As a Christian from NYC it’s so hard to find other people with strong Christian values from here. Especially when it comes to committing sins of lust. Sex until marriage is considered so unusual to most people where I’m from. Does anyone else relate to this??

I live in NYC and struggle with the same thing. However, I am a single mother of two girls, and explaining to men that I want to wait for marriage is basically having them laugh in my face. I've decided to quit dating and focus my life on Him alone. Recently have started fasting more as well.

 

[seekingthemindofChrist]

Yes I definitely understand what you’re saying thank you so much. I recently went on a fast and I can connect it to the words “advocate” or “comforter” because I realized the strength I have as a Christian is all from God. Very insightful of you ❤️ thank you so much

It seems like you are headed down the right path, and I am happy to hear that.

God bless you and strengthen you.

 

[seekingthemindofChrist]

I live in NYC and struggle with the same thing. However, I am a single mother of two girls, and explaining to men that I want to wait for marriage is basically having them laugh in my face. I've decided to quit dating and focus my life on Him alone. Recently have started fasting more as well.

A real man would never laugh at something like that, but, unfortunately, I do not know that there are too many real men left.

Anyhow, it is encouraging for me to hear that there are women who fast and pray, and who truly have a heart after God.

God bless you.

 

[Karlon]

Also, I've come up with a way to evaluate if someone is boyfriend or husband material, I call it their Relationship Resume. When they tell you, if they do, about their past relationships...in your mind or write down when you get home....their relationship history. For instance, I met a nice man who claimed to be a Christian for lunch yesterday. He was a gentleman and seemed decent. He never mentioned or talked about the Lord Jesus. You might assume if Jesus is your best friend, you probably would have something to say about Him or what He's doing in your life lately. About the Relationship Resume, this nice man I had lunch with, was married to 10 years, now divorced. (wife cheated on him multiple times). They he has had a series of girlfriends that have lived with him and they all cheated on him. Notice a pattern? Anyone have any thoughts?
Then, he said he wants the money to be 50/50. This is not the Biblical model for marriage. Think of Boaz and Ruth. Anyone have any thoughts on this one?
Thank you and God Bless everyone.

$ at 50/50 sounds like an outlet for the future in a way of "preventative maintenance" as if he's saving $ for himself in the future in case of divorce. but it may not be that, just a viewpoint. i actually know married couples on a "50/50" basis & it works out for them. as for me, i pay for 95% of everything.

 

[Mosie]

That sounds good ! Thank you for your comments...I think we will let that one go. I don't want to be with someone who is holding back on me or has a Plan B.

 

[GraceTrumpsKarma]

As a Christian from NYC it’s so hard to find other people with strong Christian values from here. Especially when it comes to committing sins of lust. Sex until marriage is considered so unusual to most people where I’m from. Does anyone else relate to this??

I can relate - I recently got out of a short relationship with a woman who was a new believer and while in the beginning my intentions where to remain sexually pure in the relationship, things took another turn. I don't blame this on her at all - I choose to engage in the behavior. But it helped me realize that if I want to be in a God-honoring relationship than I need to be with someone who also feels the same and we can be in agreement in that together.
For context, I have a very broken sexual history, attend Christ-centered recovery meetings and daily surrender myself to the Holy Spirit - but I recognize that is an area where I really need to more discerning about who I am dating and making sure our values are on the same page.

 

[Mosie]

aeriss9009 and GraceTrumpsKarma.....Thank you for sharing...and to add why it's important to be with another believer....I went to lunch last weekend with someone that 'claims' to be a Christian but had had many many sexual relationships...unrepentant from that behavior. When I hugged him goodbye I swear some of his evil spirits or demons attached to me and came home with me. I had such depressing/fear/anxiety....I couldn't figure out where it came from. I think dating a non Christian also opens you up to Spiritual attack as well. Remember, the battle is not against flesh and blood, etc.
I learned my lesson and the purer and closer your walk with Jesus Christ our Saviour is, the more sensitive you are too this and you can protect and correct yourself with the Holy Spirit.
God Bless my Friend!