Do ALL Christians have to suffer?

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Sep 5, 2018
11
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#1
I suffer from a lack of companionship. Someone that I love, and loves me back. And I know almost everyone can relate to that with the times we live in. But I'm 18 and have never had a gf, because God made me different in ways that I hate. But its always been my DREAM to have someone I love and that loves me back. Its something that Ive longed for my whole life, and God wont seem to let me have it. Amongst other things, its caused me to feel complete darkness in my mind a lot of times. When I also have the feeling God wants me to bring so much light to the world. But I feel like with me having this void of “loneliness.” Its making it way harder or almost impossible to do so, shine my light on people who need it the most.

I want a gf so I can use her to fuel me and seek after Gods kingdom even more, together. But its like hes delaying that, pointlessly; because Im ready for the next step of having a relationship. I know what it means to have a girl friend and the value of one. Receiving a daughter of His and treating her how she should be. When the world does the complete opposite.. Why is He making me wait and suffer to do something that is so right? I know Gods timing is perfect but who cares about that when youve been feeling this way for so long. For the wrong reason.

This feels like a Long punishment.
 

Demi777

Senior Member
Oct 13, 2014
6,775
1,801
113
Germany
#2
Have u ever taken a step back and see that you are making an idol of it?
What woke me up was that i realised that and asked myself
Why would God entrust me with someone when I am not even able to deal with myself alone. A relationship is responsibility and not only fun. Dont fall for it
 
Dec 28, 2019
13
14
3
#3
Why do you assume it is God who is at fault in this situation? Are you social? Are there good women whom you know around you? You're very very young, and most young people really aren't ready for a relationship. I'm young myself, but I'm 22. I feel like I'm not ready to have to deal with an entire other being and their heart when I have a plethora of issues I have to handle. It can be lonely, but what I've learned in my loneliness is that God is always there, and sometimes we have to be satisfied with just his company. You say you are ready, perhaps you are. But I wouldn't say it is God's fault you don't have a companion yet.
 

Going_Nowhere

Well-known member
Nov 10, 2019
1,462
626
113
#4
When I think of suffering, one thing that does NOT come to mind is a person who is unhappy being single. Because believe me....there are much worse things in life than that.


....Just saying.
 
Sep 5, 2018
11
5
3
19
#5
Very true. But there are different types and reasons for suffering. Mine is mostly mental, not just because Im single
 

Hungry

Senior Member
Nov 26, 2012
2,643
844
113
#6
Here’s a bit of wisdom for you. God doesn’t pick and choose and micro manage our day to day. We all have free will and make our own decisions. God isn’t a dating service. He designed the Laws of Attraction. He didn’t do it so we wouldn’t be lonely, necessarily. If you study it, it has more to do with keeping the species strong and healthy. People who are confident usually have a reason for their confidence. People who aren’t, usually have a reason for that too. Females are attracted to chemicals released by confident men. When runners are running a race, and a gold medal is awarded to the victor, the losers don’t hold their heads asking why they are being punished because they don’t have a medal. Those who want a medal go train harder for a shot at the gold. Those less ambitious sign up for other races with less glorious prizes. In the dating game this is looking for an undesirable partner, maybe less glamorous and obviously broken, “low hanging fruit”. Some decide they are losers and always losers and quit competing and walk around hoping to find a medal someone tossed away.

A good mate is a wonderful blessing. You don’t wait for one to fall from the sky, you pursue it. Every mammal has both competitions for males to display dominance and glamor. Then it is the females who submit for mating purposes. We humans are no different. Females seeking a suitor are attracted to power (physical, financial, social). Pick something you excel at and dominate in it. This produces healthy confidence. Then the women will find you and you will have the ability to win the gold.

I wish someone told me this at 18. For many years I was a harvester of low hanging fruit. Much of that fruit is full of worms.
 
Dec 23, 2019
87
56
18
godfoundme.weebly.com
#7
“In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world” (John 16:33). We must take up our cross and follow, rejoice in our suffering, and remember “for the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it” (Hebrews 12:11). “Cast all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you” (1 Peter 5:7). Some of our fellow believers live in countries where they are still persecuted and killed just for believing in Jesus. If we’re not focused on physical survival or focused on the needs of others, inwardly-focused thoughts can lead those in more well-off countries to despair despite having so many blessings around us. I actually thought I could avoid the pitfall of relationship breakups if I put all my eggs in the friendship basket, only to be let down there as well. However, God works all things for the good of those that love Him (Romans 8:28) and it led me to have a deeper relationship with Him.

There are many people that feel like you do. I think of it this way. God knows everything, works all things for our good, and His ways are higher than our ways. Why worry over something that ultimately is in His hands? He is the one who knows and will work everything out. Seek first His kingdom and the things we need will follow (Matthew 6:33). He might be preparing someone for you right now and that person is not ready yet. He might be preparing you (more likely it’s both). Or He might know what would happen if we were to get together with someone that is not right for us, and therefore has us remain single. Worrying about it won’t change things. And when we ask for bread or fish God, won’t give us a rock or snake to harm us (see Luke 11:11 and Matthew 7:9-10). He won’t give you someone that will harm you, though with our free will we might be inclined to go against His will and end up harming ourselves. Be patient and if the Lord wills it, He will have someone for you. If not, then He’ll give you the peace to accept it.
 
E

EliBeth

Guest
#8
I suffer from a lack of companionship. Someone that I love, and loves me back. And I know almost everyone can relate to that with the times we live in. But I'm 18 and have never had a gf, because God made me different in ways that I hate. But its always been my DREAM to have someone I love and that loves me back. Its something that Ive longed for my whole life, and God wont seem to let me have it. Amongst other things, its caused me to feel complete darkness in my mind a lot of times. When I also have the feeling God wants me to bring so much light to the world. But I feel like with me having this void of “loneliness.” Its making it way harder or almost impossible to do so, shine my light on people who need it the most.

I want a gf so I can use her to fuel me and seek after Gods kingdom even more, together. But its like hes delaying that, pointlessly; because Im ready for the next step of having a relationship. I know what it means to have a girl friend and the value of one. Receiving a daughter of His and treating her how she should be. When the world does the complete opposite.. Why is He making me wait and suffer to do something that is so right? I know Gods timing is perfect but who cares about that when youve been feeling this way for so long. For the wrong reason.

This feels like a Long punishment.
Greetings, EarthlySinner65! 🙂

Let me first say, believe it or not I understand a little bit of what you're going through. I'm 23 and have never really had a steady, more-than-very-brief boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. I have experienced the emotions that accompany loneliness. I remember the frustration. But God did something in me. And He is doing something in me. And it is something beautiful! Something I would NOT change if I could.

To answer your thread question bluntly, yes. I do believe all Christians will suffer. Being born again means our loyalty is no longer to the selfish flesh, but rather our loyalty is to God Almighty. He bought us with a price. Remaining in this body of flesh, we will meet with trials and temptations that test our loyalty. These tests are painful, but they are good because through them we may be refined, purified, and perfected to the praise and glory of God. The question is- Will Christians suffer well?

Some people do not believe that God has a specific will regarding who we are to marry. I disagree. In my own life, I am quite certain my Father has a particular man picked out for me. I believe He confirmed to me that I would have a husband if I remain loyal and true to Him, living as a woman of character (like Ruth). There have been at least 3 times now where I have met a Christian man, liked him, asked Father if he was the one, and received a clear, distinct, and firm answer, "No". I have had to completely walk away from these men. I do not regret one iota having walked away from any one of them. I am absolutely confident it is what God wanted me to do.

Was it hard? Yes! Was I tempted to rebel? Yes! But, praise my Father God, He empowered me to be steadfast in my loyalty to Him in these tests.

EarthlySinner65, please, Please, believe you can trust God!! One of the adversary's oldest tricks in the book is to make us think God is withholding from us, that He cannot be trusted, that He should be doubted. Remember Eve and the serpent in the garden of Eden? (Genesis 3)

"For the Lord God is a sun and shield: the Lord will give grace and glory: no good thing will he withhold from them that walk uprightly." Psalm 84:11

"But each one is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by his own lust. Then when lust has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and when sin is accomplished, it brings forth death. Do not be deceived, my beloved brethren. Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow." James 1:14-17

If you want to be obedient to Christ, you must surrender your desire for a girlfriend/wife to Him. You have to hold this desire open-handed before Him and trust Him with it. "Thy will be done." Your desire for a godly wife cannot compete with Him on the throne of your heart. I am speaking this as a warning. If you rebel and go your way instead of surrendering, waiting, and following His, you may get a wife but you will forfeit that which is best. <This is what many, many Christians have done. And they are reaping what they have sown.

(Speaking of the Israelites:)
"13They quickly forgot His works;
They did not wait for His counsel,
14But craved intensely in the wilderness,
And tempted God in the desert.
15So He gave them their request,
But sent a wasting disease among them."
Psalm 106:13-14
(I encourage you to read the entire chapter.)

You think if you only had a wife you could then serve God happily and be fulfilled in ministry. Paul teaches that with marriage come many troubles. (1 Corinthians 7:28) I have had your sentiment in the past too. But, truthfully, a wife does not equip you for ministry- the Holy Spirit does. (She may support, but God equips.) If He can't enable you, nobody can. Thankfully, He can enable you- even now in your single state. 🙂 Don't forget that you do have One who loves you more than any human being ever could. ❤️

You've got to come to a place where you surrender completely. This is what Jesus did, and this is what we are called to do as well.

"In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed." 1 Peter 1:6-7

If you view God as an enemy, it will end badly. You have to resist that. Think of all of the things you do have and what He has done for you! Force yourself. That was part of the Israelites' problem in Psalm 106- they "forgot His works". Don't forget what He has done for you and what He is doing for you. Choose not to dwell on your craving. Resist grumbling. Thank Him and delve into His Word. Ask Him for the ability to surrender this desire to Him and to grow in strength in the fiery furnace of testing!

In my own life, I have had to get rid of stuff that makes me dwell on my desire for a husband. Ridding my life of secular music, secular books, secular tv, Facebook, etc has greatly helped me. God is my first love. To Him is my loyalty due. And my life must reflect this- suffering and all. Radical though I may be, I have assurance in His pleasure with me. I am at peace.

Another thing that has helped me put my suffering of loneliness in perspective is reading true stories of Christians who are persecuted. (Visit persecution.com) Their suffering is much more painful than mine. One story that has been on my mind lately and has provided inspiration for me is a Christian man in Romania who refused to give up information about his fellow brothers and sisters in Christ to the authorities (because he knew the authorities would imprison and torture them as well). They tortured him. He refused to cave. They then brought in his 14 year old son and began torturing the son in front of him in a heinous manner. The father finally said he couldn't take it any longer. But his son said, "Father, don't do me the injustice of having a traitor for a parent. Stand strong! If they kill me I will die with the word 'Jesus' on my lips." The father then had the courage to stand strong. The son was beaten to death. Great will their reward be!

How far are you willing to go to remain loyal to Christ? Will you suffer well, brother, to the glory of God? Those who give up everything for Him will be abundantly rewarded. If your life were on the line, would you refuse to renounce Christ? Your practice is in the trial you now find yourself in. Where does your loyalty lie?

"And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or wife or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life." Matthew 19:29
 
E

EliBeth

Guest
#9
Greetings, EarthlySinner65! 🙂

Let me first say, believe it or not I understand a little bit of what you're going through. I'm 23 and have never really had a steady, more-than-very-brief boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. I have experienced the emotions that accompany loneliness. I remember the frustration. But God did something in me. And He is doing something in me. And it is something beautiful! Something I would NOT change if I could.

To answer your thread question bluntly, yes. I do believe all Christians will suffer. Being born again means our loyalty is no longer to the selfish flesh, but rather our loyalty is to God Almighty. He bought us with a price. Remaining in this body of flesh, we will meet with trials and temptations that test our loyalty. These tests are painful, but they are good because through them we may be refined, purified, and perfected to the praise and glory of God. The question is- Will Christians suffer well?

Some people do not believe that God has a specific will regarding who we are to marry. I disagree. In my own life, I am quite certain my Father has a particular man picked out for me. I believe He confirmed to me that I would have a husband if I remain loyal and true to Him, living as a woman of character (like Ruth). There have been at least 3 times now where I have met a Christian man, liked him, asked Father if he was the one, and received a clear, distinct, and firm answer, "No". I have had to completely walk away from these men. I do not regret one iota having walked away from any one of them. I am absolutely confident it is what God wanted me to do.

Was it hard? Yes! Was I tempted to rebel? Yes! But, praise my Father God, He empowered me to be steadfast in my loyalty to Him in these tests.

EarthlySinner65, please, Please, believe you can trust God!! One of the adversary's oldest tricks in the book is to make us think God is withholding from us, that He cannot be trusted, that He should be doubted. Remember Eve and the serpent in the garden of Eden? (Genesis 3)

"For the Lord God is a sun and shield: the Lord will give grace and glory: no good thing will he withhold from them that walk uprightly." Psalm 84:11

"But each one is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by his own lust. Then when lust has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and when sin is accomplished, it brings forth death. Do not be deceived, my beloved brethren. Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow." James 1:14-17

If you want to be obedient to Christ, you must surrender your desire for a girlfriend/wife to Him. You have to hold this desire open-handed before Him and trust Him with it. "Thy will be done." Your desire for a godly wife cannot compete with Him on the throne of your heart. I am speaking this as a warning. If you rebel and go your way instead of surrendering, waiting, and following His, you may get a wife but you will forfeit that which is best. <This is what many, many Christians have done. And they are reaping what they have sown.

(Speaking of the Israelites:)
"13They quickly forgot His works;
They did not wait for His counsel,
14But craved intensely in the wilderness,
And tempted God in the desert.
15So He gave them their request,
But sent a wasting disease among them."
Psalm 106:13-14
(I encourage you to read the entire chapter.)

You think if you only had a wife you could then serve God happily and be fulfilled in ministry. Paul teaches that with marriage come many troubles. (1 Corinthians 7:28) I have had your sentiment in the past too. But, truthfully, a wife does not equip you for ministry- the Holy Spirit does. (She may support, but God equips.) If He can't enable you, nobody can. Thankfully, He can enable you- even now in your single state. 🙂 Don't forget that you do have One who loves you more than any human being ever could. ❤️

You've got to come to a place where you surrender completely. This is what Jesus did, and this is what we are called to do as well.

"In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed." 1 Peter 1:6-7

If you view God as an enemy, it will end badly. You have to resist that. Think of all of the things you do have and what He has done for you! Force yourself. That was part of the Israelites' problem in Psalm 106- they "forgot His works". Don't forget what He has done for you and what He is doing for you. Choose not to dwell on your craving. Resist grumbling. Thank Him and delve into His Word. Ask Him for the ability to surrender this desire to Him and to grow in strength in the fiery furnace of testing!

In my own life, I have had to get rid of stuff that makes me dwell on my desire for a husband. Ridding my life of secular music, secular books, secular tv, Facebook, etc has greatly helped me. God is my first love. To Him is my loyalty due. And my life must reflect this- suffering and all. Radical though I may be, I have assurance in His pleasure with me. I am at peace.

Another thing that has helped me put my suffering of loneliness in perspective is reading true stories of Christians who are persecuted. (Visit persecution.com) Their suffering is much more painful than mine. One story that has been on my mind lately and has provided inspiration for me is a Christian man in Romania who refused to give up information about his fellow brothers and sisters in Christ to the authorities (because he knew the authorities would imprison and torture them as well). They tortured him. He refused to cave. They then brought in his 14 year old son and began torturing the son in front of him in a heinous manner. The father finally said he couldn't take it any longer. But his son said, "Father, don't do me the injustice of having a traitor for a parent. Stand strong! If they kill me I will die with the word 'Jesus' on my lips." The father then had the courage to stand strong. The son was beaten to death. Great will their reward be!

How far are you willing to go to remain loyal to Christ? Will you suffer well, brother, to the glory of God? Those who give up everything for Him will be abundantly rewarded. If your life were on the line, would you refuse to renounce Christ? Your practice is in the trial you now find yourself in. Where does your loyalty lie?

"And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or wife or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life." Matthew 19:29
The smiley face after "Israelites" is a typo. I put a colon: and close parenthesis) and it automatically turned into a smiley.
 
Dec 23, 2019
87
56
18
godfoundme.weebly.com
#10
PS Not everyone is called to marriage, as Paul even said, but many people have shared their struggles and “love stories” and we can rejoice with them. Here’s a link to a video where a young lady shares some of the letters she wrote to her future husband with her now husband. She was overly-focused on finding one and it definitely can become an idol, but considering she did find someone it has a happy ending. Just to show that you are not alone, and that sometimes no matter how much you want something and pray for it, God won’t give it to us when we want it for a reason. Whether single or in a relationship, God comes first above all and He is who we should be relying on.

 
Sep 5, 2018
11
5
3
19
#11
Greetings, EarthlySinner65! 🙂

Let me first say, believe it or not I understand a little bit of what you're going through. I'm 23 and have never really had a steady, more-than-very-brief boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. I have experienced the emotions that accompany loneliness. I remember the frustration. But God did something in me. And He is doing something in me. And it is something beautiful! Something I would NOT change if I could.

To answer your thread question bluntly, yes. I do believe all Christians will suffer. Being born again means our loyalty is no longer to the selfish flesh, but rather our loyalty is to God Almighty. He bought us with a price. Remaining in this body of flesh, we will meet with trials and temptations that test our loyalty. These tests are painful, but they are good because through them we may be refined, purified, and perfected to the praise and glory of God. The question is- Will Christians suffer well?

Some people do not believe that God has a specific will regarding who we are to marry. I disagree. In my own life, I am quite certain my Father has a particular man picked out for me. I believe He confirmed to me that I would have a husband if I remain loyal and true to Him, living as a woman of character (like Ruth). There have been at least 3 times now where I have met a Christian man, liked him, asked Father if he was the one, and received a clear, distinct, and firm answer, "No". I have had to completely walk away from these men. I do not regret one iota having walked away from any one of them. I am absolutely confident it is what God wanted me to do.

Was it hard? Yes! Was I tempted to rebel? Yes! But, praise my Father God, He empowered me to be steadfast in my loyalty to Him in these tests.

EarthlySinner65, please, Please, believe you can trust God!! One of the adversary's oldest tricks in the book is to make us think God is withholding from us, that He cannot be trusted, that He should be doubted. Remember Eve and the serpent in the garden of Eden? (Genesis 3)

"For the Lord God is a sun and shield: the Lord will give grace and glory: no good thing will he withhold from them that walk uprightly." Psalm 84:11

"But each one is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by his own lust. Then when lust has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and when sin is accomplished, it brings forth death. Do not be deceived, my beloved brethren. Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow." James 1:14-17

If you want to be obedient to Christ, you must surrender your desire for a girlfriend/wife to Him. You have to hold this desire open-handed before Him and trust Him with it. "Thy will be done." Your desire for a godly wife cannot compete with Him on the throne of your heart. I am speaking this as a warning. If you rebel and go your way instead of surrendering, waiting, and following His, you may get a wife but you will forfeit that which is best. <This is what many, many Christians have done. And they are reaping what they have sown.

(Speaking of the Israelites:)
"13They quickly forgot His works;
They did not wait for His counsel,
14But craved intensely in the wilderness,
And tempted God in the desert.
15So He gave them their request,
But sent a wasting disease among them."
Psalm 106:13-14
(I encourage you to read the entire chapter.)

You think if you only had a wife you could then serve God happily and be fulfilled in ministry. Paul teaches that with marriage come many troubles. (1 Corinthians 7:28) I have had your sentiment in the past too. But, truthfully, a wife does not equip you for ministry- the Holy Spirit does. (She may support, but God equips.) If He can't enable you, nobody can. Thankfully, He can enable you- even now in your single state. 🙂 Don't forget that you do have One who loves you more than any human being ever could. ❤️

You've got to come to a place where you surrender completely. This is what Jesus did, and this is what we are called to do as well.

"In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed." 1 Peter 1:6-7

If you view God as an enemy, it will end badly. You have to resist that. Think of all of the things you do have and what He has done for you! Force yourself. That was part of the Israelites' problem in Psalm 106- they "forgot His works". Don't forget what He has done for you and what He is doing for you. Choose not to dwell on your craving. Resist grumbling. Thank Him and delve into His Word. Ask Him for the ability to surrender this desire to Him and to grow in strength in the fiery furnace of testing!

In my own life, I have had to get rid of stuff that makes me dwell on my desire for a husband. Ridding my life of secular music, secular books, secular tv, Facebook, etc has greatly helped me. God is my first love. To Him is my loyalty due. And my life must reflect this- suffering and all. Radical though I may be, I have assurance in His pleasure with me. I am at peace.

Another thing that has helped me put my suffering of loneliness in perspective is reading true stories of Christians who are persecuted. (Visit persecution.com) Their suffering is much more painful than mine. One story that has been on my mind lately and has provided inspiration for me is a Christian man in Romania who refused to give up information about his fellow brothers and sisters in Christ to the authorities (because he knew the authorities would imprison and torture them as well). They tortured him. He refused to cave. They then brought in his 14 year old son and began torturing the son in front of him in a heinous manner. The father finally said he couldn't take it any longer. But his son said, "Father, don't do me the injustice of having a traitor for a parent. Stand strong! If they kill me I will die with the word 'Jesus' on my lips." The father then had the courage to stand strong. The son was beaten to death. Great will their reward be!

How far are you willing to go to remain loyal to Christ? Will you suffer well, brother, to the glory of God? Those who give up everything for Him will be abundantly rewarded. If your life were on the line, would you refuse to renounce Christ? Your practice is in the trial you now find yourself in. Where does your loyalty lie?

"And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or wife or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life." Matthew 19:29
Thank you so much🙏 ill be praying for God to help me surrender this desire and leave it completely in His hands.
 

blueluna5

Active member
Jul 30, 2018
279
188
43
#13
I suffer from a lack of companionship. Someone that I love, and loves me back. And I know almost everyone can relate to that with the times we live in. But I'm 18 and have never had a gf, because God made me different in ways that I hate. But its always been my DREAM to have someone I love and that loves me back. Its something that Ive longed for my whole life, and God wont seem to let me have it. Amongst other things, its caused me to feel complete darkness in my mind a lot of times. When I also have the feeling God wants me to bring so much light to the world. But I feel like with me having this void of “loneliness.” Its making it way harder or almost impossible to do so, shine my light on people who need it the most.

I want a gf so I can use her to fuel me and seek after Gods kingdom even more, together. But its like hes delaying that, pointlessly; because Im ready for the next step of having a relationship. I know what it means to have a girl friend and the value of one. Receiving a daughter of His and treating her how she should be. When the world does the complete opposite.. Why is He making me wait and suffer to do something that is so right? I know Gods timing is perfect but who cares about that when youve been feeling this way for so long. For the wrong reason.

This feels like a Long punishment.

My husband didn't have a girlfriend until he was 24. In fact his mother even told him she didn't mind if he was gay. I can't think of a worse way to support your single son. 😵

In any case we ended up meeting and getting married when he was 25.

I'd like to say that was the end of the waiting but unfortunately then we went through infertility for 5 years...More waiting. It's all hard in it's own way.

What I will say is the logic you have about getting closer to God when things are good is actually the opposite. When things are good you are busy. I have no time as a mom and wife. Lol But I remember the God who was with me and saved me from the valley. It was in the valley where God found me, not on the mountain.

Through the blessings remember that troubles will always be around. I traded my infertility battle for a financial one of having a baby. I'd take the latter any day and still feel incredibly blessed.

God's timing is still perfect. As soon as I met my husband and my little boy it was as if they were always in my life. I occasionally think about the past, and I think of God always being with me. Things I didn't notice back then I now do.

I hope this gives you some comfort as God is preparing you and your wife for each other.
 

3angelsmsg

Junior Member
Mar 1, 2018
482
560
93
#14
Hi bro, your comment about the void and loneliness you experience is the voice of God is calling you in deeper relationship.

A relationship won't fill that void you have in your heart. Only trusting fully in Lord Jesus Christ will be able to fill that void.

You should realise your dependency on the Lord, nobody on this earth can make you happy beside the Lord. You can attach your heart to people and possessions but those things are temporary not of eternal nature.

Set your affections on things above. Taste and see that the Lord is good. Dig deeper in the word of God. You are very young. Rather be power soldier in the hands of God.

Even when you are married, you ought to serve God like you are single.

Make wise decision my friend.
 

Butterflyyy

Well-known member
Oct 31, 2019
1,310
1,130
113
#15
Very true. But there are different types and reasons for suffering. Mine is mostly mental, not just because Im single
Dear friend

We must trust Him every moment, and fully surrender to Him. We must keep our focus on Him and not our circumstances or we will go under like Peter who walked on water when he kept his eyes on Jesus and started to sink when he looked at the waves.

He is God. He knows what is best for us. He works all things for our good.
His ways are high above ours.
One day when we are with Him, it will all have been easily worth it.

Some of the most helpful, powerful words my pastor ever said to me were, "Keep loving Him. Keep trusting Him."

Keep your full Ephesians 6 armour on EVERY DAY. Keep in fellowship. Fully depend on Him.
Strengthen yourself in Him,in prayer and in His Word. This narrow way may seem hard at times but will be worth it.
Do not focus on being single.
His grace will carry you through this life if you allow it. We only want His will don't we-anything else we would regret.
Man shall not live by bread alone but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God; we cannot do it without Him, but through Him all things are possible...keep trusting Him with it all and always look to Him in your time if need trusting that He loves you dearly and He knows what He is doing. Seek Him and then be still and know that He is God. x

“My life is but a weaving
Between my God and me.
I cannot choose the colors
He weaveth steadily.

Oft’ times He weaveth sorrow;
And I in foolish pride
Forget He sees the upper
And I the underside.

Not ’til the loom is silent
And the shuttles cease to fly
Will God unroll the canvas
And reveal the reason why.

The dark threads are as needful
In the weaver’s skillful hand
As the threads of gold and silver
In the pattern He has planned

He knows, He loves, He cares;
Nothing this truth can dim.
He gives the very best to those
Who leave the choice to Him.
~Corrie Ten Boom~
 

Butterflyyy

Well-known member
Oct 31, 2019
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#16
Very true. But there are different types and reasons for suffering. Mine is mostly mental, not just because Im single
I do not know what cross you have to bear or what you have to trust Him with but do not fear for it says in 2 Timothy:
He has not given us a spirit of fear but of power, love and a sound mind.

Have you ever seen a man called Nick Vujicic?☺️Be blessed xxx
 
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godfoundme.weebly.com
#17
Have you ever seen a man called Nick Vujicic?☺️Be blessed xxx
Butterflyyy, I’ve seen a few clips with Nick Vujicic and he definitely has an inspirational story! I love that his joy comes from knowing Christ and that even though he suffered a lot growing up, God had a future full of hope in store for him. I want to read his books Life Without Limits and Be the Hands and Feet. The Bible is a great source of comfort and wisdom, but it is also encouraging to hear from other believers and their experiences today. We all go through our own struggles and trials, but let’s continue to build each other up as Scripture wisely says :)
 

Mii

Well-known member
Mar 23, 2019
1,660
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#19
because God made me different in ways that I hate.
Pretty curious what you mean by this. If you care to elaborate it will be helpful. Hatred of self isn't exactly healthy, but I'm not going to knock you for despising elements of your flesh. I definitely do in myself at times, but discerning "why" you hate it is helpful.

This isn't what I had planned on replying to about your post at all, but it sticks out. When I was in your position at that age (actually it was more like 16 for me) I didn't hate anything about myself other than not being able to maintain purity through brute force and feeling the sin/shame and the constant feeling like the Lord wouldn't give me a wife because I couldn't keep myself under control and I was unworthy or possibly he was just angry with me. Alas there is no men's forum or I could be a bit more candid.


I know a lot of people speak of grace fluidly and I certainly recognize it's need, but knowing there is grace for what we cannot honor him with doesn't mean we are not to strive as hard as we can as powerfully as we can throwing ourselves into the word and running.

As I've grown older, instead of running recklessly and "speeding" to the point where I just crash...I've learned to be more methodical. I once had a dream around 13 where "we" were driving in a car race. I started out way behind and it was like the race was already going on and I was a latecomer...but ah, I had a racecar, so I began driving and was easily passing many people, I was like "this is too easy" and "I will surely win" <---LOL but then...a thought hit me. What about every one else that hasn't started yet, I need to go back and help them get going. It was irritating at the time because I wanted to be 1st despite starting late.

I had at least one other similarly themed dream from this period of my life and at the time it was irritating also.


Like what? I have to go back for others and help them along? What for? They can race their own cars, I'm in this to place well.


It took a LONG time for me to understand it through the lens of scripture correctly. Back then I thought it was whoever that could shine the brightest, save the most souls, sin the least, change the world...he would "win" the prize.


Ironically as I grew and matured I didn't ever forget this dream. So when I'd read Paul talking about running a race toward the prize...I was like "see, this is what it's about!"

...Erm, kind of but there's more.

It's about crossing the finish line and as many people as you can help get started running, and encourage, and push along for a bit. If they are out of gas, give them directions to a station. Listen to their engine, does it sound like it needs work? I know an excellent mechanic, go talk to him. He's fixed a lot of my performance issues, and taught me not to burn out so much fuel and show off. Not sure what your problem is exactly but he's good at fixing things.


This is an analogy of my walk with the Lord by the way. I thought I was a hot rod at 16 and experienced things similar to the rest of your post. I still think the Lord gave me an incredible mind (to me) but it has been tempered by incredible trials. Every time I've shared things with people in my adult life they are typically baffled. People I think have been laid on my heart that can give me counsel but seem to do nothing but affirm that the Lord will was done in speaking with them but I'm not further along in clarity. Except...No one knows me like the Lord and he is my strength and my shield. He is my counselor and that's wonderfully cool.

It gets frustrating not to have a partner that I feel like if she were in full agreement with the Lord and he sort of did actually matchmake (and yes I believe he can and does, just rarely in a direct easily seen way) then it would be pretty neat. Yes I am quite familiar that the enemy has a delusional fake version of this. All too well unfortunately, and it typically marrs and mocks what I believe would be a holy covenant under grace and NOT the law, except via fulfillment that is. No I do NOT deserve for the Lord to give me a wife, I would be sincerely confused if he did not, but I can't understand that I just roll the dice quite yet, if ever. I want it to be his will the person, I believe it is his will for me to be married because I still have flesh.



I thought I was ready then and would show others how it was done. Clearly I was not, because I'm still single. Some don't view things that way, and that doesn't make them wrong. Neither does it make my own personal convictions wrong. If the Lord doesn't have anything that I'm certain is his will...then idk. There are some places I don't feel equipped to trod without a wife or issues I couldn't speak on authoritatively, or even counsel married couples. My lens is through singleness and though I am certainly willing for that to change I just can't act without him.


Oh dear, I could write a book on this I think. It's been a long journey full of agony, and trying of my faith. The decision to remain single until HE says so, not when I do. I haven't ever even kissed anyone because at the time it seemed like "that might lead to other things".

So yes, anyone that says that is not tribulation confuses me. I'm not going to let certain bitterness about people being seemingly blessed through sin come out, except to say that I don't know that element of his "grace" and choose NOT to know it. It is by his grace that I have endured trials in that area every day of the last 17 years, and grace that certain females didn't ever cross my path. The Lord protected me from a WHOLE lot, I certainly was aware of the Proverbs that were cautionary and a lot of scripture that furthered these convictions but I can't say I didn't entertain these things privately, I had my ups and downs. I sacrificed and gave up many opportunities to "have it my way" and "open my eyes" that it certainly feels like picking up one's cross. Let's just say, there were times I was not a fan and anger and bitterness have been issues as well that needed pruning.

There's a lot more to say, and I'm sure I will depending on what ministry direction he sends me in so I'll just leave this here.

I'm long past my will for companionship, my heart is known. He hears my prayers and will answer accordingly.

I definitely did not expect to share in a testimonial fashion, except it stirred up my heart afresh so I certainly thank the Lord for the opportunity.


I would have liked to engage some of the thoughts from other posts, but I suppose not this time ;)

"Thou he slay me, yet will I still trust in him" Job 13:15. I yearn for a walk like that, but I also don't. If that's his will, then I pray I will boldly meet him in it!
 

Butterflyyy

Well-known member
Oct 31, 2019
1,310
1,130
113
#20
Pretty curious what you mean by this. If you care to elaborate it will be helpful. Hatred of self isn't exactly healthy, but I'm not going to knock you for despising elements of your flesh. I definitely do in myself at times, but discerning "why" you hate it is helpful.

This isn't what I had planned on replying to about your post at all, but it sticks out. When I was in your position at that age (actually it was more like 16 for me) I didn't hate anything about myself other than not being able to maintain purity through brute force and feeling the sin/shame and the constant feeling like the Lord wouldn't give me a wife because I couldn't keep myself under control and I was unworthy or possibly he was just angry with me. Alas there is no men's forum or I could be a bit more candid.


I know a lot of people speak of grace fluidly and I certainly recognize it's need, but knowing there is grace for what we cannot honor him with doesn't mean we are not to strive as hard as we can as powerfully as we can throwing ourselves into the word and running.

As I've grown older, instead of running recklessly and "speeding" to the point where I just crash...I've learned to be more methodical. I once had a dream around 13 where "we" were driving in a car race. I started out way behind and it was like the race was already going on and I was a latecomer...but ah, I had a racecar, so I began driving and was easily passing many people, I was like "this is too easy" and "I will surely win" <---LOL but then...a thought hit me. What about every one else that hasn't started yet, I need to go back and help them get going. It was irritating at the time because I wanted to be 1st despite starting late.

I had at least one other similarly themed dream from this period of my life and at the time it was irritating also.


Like what? I have to go back for others and help them along? What for? They can race their own cars, I'm in this to place well.


It took a LONG time for me to understand it through the lens of scripture correctly. Back then I thought it was whoever that could shine the brightest, save the most souls, sin the least, change the world...he would "win" the prize.


Ironically as I grew and matured I didn't ever forget this dream. So when I'd read Paul talking about running a race toward the prize...I was like "see, this is what it's about!"

...Erm, kind of but there's more.

It's about crossing the finish line and as many people as you can help get started running, and encourage, and push along for a bit. If they are out of gas, give them directions to a station. Listen to their engine, does it sound like it needs work? I know an excellent mechanic, go talk to him. He's fixed a lot of my performance issues, and taught me not to burn out so much fuel and show off. Not sure what your problem is exactly but he's good at fixing things.


This is an analogy of my walk with the Lord by the way. I thought I was a hot rod at 16 and experienced things similar to the rest of your post. I still think the Lord gave me an incredible mind (to me) but it has been tempered by incredible trials. Every time I've shared things with people in my adult life they are typically baffled. People I think have been laid on my heart that can give me counsel but seem to do nothing but affirm that the Lord will was done in speaking with them but I'm not further along in clarity. Except...No one knows me like the Lord and he is my strength and my shield. He is my counselor and that's wonderfully cool.

It gets frustrating not to have a partner that I feel like if she were in full agreement with the Lord and he sort of did actually matchmake (and yes I believe he can and does, just rarely in a direct easily seen way) then it would be pretty neat. Yes I am quite familiar that the enemy has a delusional fake version of this. All too well unfortunately, and it typically marrs and mocks what I believe would be a holy covenant under grace and NOT the law, except via fulfillment that is. No I do NOT deserve for the Lord to give me a wife, I would be sincerely confused if he did not, but I can't understand that I just roll the dice quite yet, if ever. I want it to be his will the person, I believe it is his will for me to be married because I still have flesh.



I thought I was ready then and would show others how it was done. Clearly I was not, because I'm still single. Some don't view things that way, and that doesn't make them wrong. Neither does it make my own personal convictions wrong. If the Lord doesn't have anything that I'm certain is his will...then idk. There are some places I don't feel equipped to trod without a wife or issues I couldn't speak on authoritatively, or even counsel married couples. My lens is through singleness and though I am certainly willing for that to change I just can't act without him.


Oh dear, I could write a book on this I think. It's been a long journey full of agony, and trying of my faith. The decision to remain single until HE says so, not when I do. I haven't ever even kissed anyone because at the time it seemed like "that might lead to other things".

So yes, anyone that says that is not tribulation confuses me. I'm not going to let certain bitterness about people being seemingly blessed through sin come out, except to say that I don't know that element of his "grace" and choose NOT to know it. It is by his grace that I have endured trials in that area every day of the last 17 years, and grace that certain females didn't ever cross my path. The Lord protected me from a WHOLE lot, I certainly was aware of the Proverbs that were cautionary and a lot of scripture that furthered these convictions but I can't say I didn't entertain these things privately, I had my ups and downs. I sacrificed and gave up many opportunities to "have it my way" and "open my eyes" that it certainly feels like picking up one's cross. Let's just say, there were times I was not a fan and anger and bitterness have been issues as well that needed pruning.

There's a lot more to say, and I'm sure I will depending on what ministry direction he sends me in so I'll just leave this here.

I'm long past my will for companionship, my heart is known. He hears my prayers and will answer accordingly.

I definitely did not expect to share in a testimonial fashion, except it stirred up my heart afresh so I certainly thank the Lord for the opportunity.


I would have liked to engage some of the thoughts from other posts, but I suppose not this time ;)

"Thou he slay me, yet will I still trust in him" Job 13:15. I yearn for a walk like that, but I also don't. If that's his will, then I pray I will boldly meet him in it!
Godliness with contentment is great gain.
It was interesting reading what you said; I can relate to a lot of it.
Just lately I have been reading more Bible and asking God to show me if there's anything in between me and Him that I need to repent of...anyway last week I just decided that I wanted to be fully surrendered, and faced the reality that this life is very short compared to eternity and if He required me to be single til I am with Him then I need to bow my will and accept this. I have felt liberated ever since!!
I hope this blesses you, I know it is a hard thing, but it is our life on His Altar and I cannot get peace until 'all on the altar I lay.'
God bless 🦋