friend in need.

[ijustwanttheTruth]

sigh.

i have a friend. 30 year old man. but feels like a kid. he feels like the 14 year old that he was when he was sexually molested by his own family. yeah i know that happens. yeah i know it's not unheard of.
but please look with me at this one specific life.

he's an arab christian. his whole family is muslim. and in their eyes, he betrayed them.
but being a christian doesn't erase the things in his life that haunt him. he feels worthless. he has no sense of belonging.
he hates himself.
yesterday....he told me he's gay and he's in love with a 17 year old.

he told me he's planning to kill himself because he doesn't trust himself to not give into the temptation of wanting to be with this boy. or even others. he has SUCH a shame that covers him. nothing i say helps.
he believes he's evil. because of his desires and that the only escape for the good of mankind, is to kill himself.

he said he's aiming for 20 days from now.
i.
i. don't even know what to say. but i'm wearing his pain right now.
there's nothing i do or say that will fix how he feels about himself and what he believes. about his woundedness defining him.

i mean. i struggle with suicidal junk too. maybe a 3rd of the time i want out too.
but still. there's gotta be a way i can get him help and healing.... isn't there?

couldn't something help break him free? heal the scars of his youth?
i feel so helpless.

 

[Judge]

That's really hard. All I can say is to keep your prayer strong. And ask people to pray over him. I think it's very inspirational the way you stay by him no matter what. Stay strong girl.

 

[JoshJoseph2]

I know how hard it is to be in a situation with someone who is suicidal and the fear that goes with it. The fear of telling someone about it is a tough one because you know that by telling someone you may feel like the suicidal person will be angry at you and feeling as if your friendship is in jeopardy. I'm not really should what you should do here, perhaps some research on the subject may be of help to you. I googled it and came up with this website Suicide Prevention: How to Help Someone who is Suicidal. I didn't read all of it, but it may be of some help to you.

 

[Exoaria]

What you need to understand that people like this man is exactly the kind of broken, hurt and discarded person that Jesus died to know. The person you are dealing with simply does not know how much Jesus loves them.
Pray for him that Jesus will reveal his love and mercy to him, and show him just how righteous and beautiful he is to Him because he believes in Christ.
FROM LEE IN TENNESSEE
Escape to Reality

Tell him to look up some videos of Joseph Prince on YouTube as well.

The priority here is to get him to see just how much Jesus loves and adores him regardless of his emotional state and that Christ wants to help him, fix him and love him. That he is so beautiful to Jesus and each one of us is a wreck that Jesus wants to take on a journey with him that will satisfy us and give us hope in the future.

 

[jeremyd]

I don't even know where to start, but you know what i'm just gonna be honest. I literally wish I could make you stop trying to rescue people. I can spot the behaviors of a serial co-dependent from ten miles away because I still struggle with it a little too. And to make matters worse you probably already knew better, but always find yourself back in strange situations over-and-over again and can't quite figure out why?

Forgive me if I'm being presumptuous, and it's not like I expect you to answer that, I am frustrated. I just know that as your brother I can't get you out of your circumstances and that you are going to pay the emotional toll for getting involved. I can easily imagine that you struggle with boundries, belittling yourself, and achievement-standards just like he does which is why whatever your doing hasn't been working. You are so kind for being that friend-at-all costs. However, his life is not in your hands.

I am a trained suicide-intervention specialist. He can contact me, I can contact him, or he can go here: New Hope Now for live online Christian support. Their are dozens of other chat lines, phone and web, that are available. DO NOT assume responsibility if he kills himself! I will be in prayer and hope it works out for the best.

 

[CNikki]

I don't know if my suggestion will help, but if you know anyone he associates with and is close to as well then let them know so they can be aware about it too. Ultimately, you're going to have to get help even if it's words because you never know that he could end up dead by tomorrow. Try to talk to him and get him to some sort of help center, usually for emergency being at hospitals that he probably will have to stay at for a few days. Have him know he's loved and cared for because when people are in that state, everything's so foggy to them and they have all these assumptions made even if he doesn't believe you and seems bold about everything. Know that when he says these things, it's really a cry for help that you could in turn give to him even if he ends up resenting you for a while. I really hope your friend gets everything he needs and remember that even if it seems impractical or impossible, do what needs to be done for his sake and yours even if it's very stressful. Take care.

 

[hospitalpharmacist]

Dear ijustwanttheTruth,

it's hard to give an advice to your friend. Just make him feel your closeness and love, he has to know he can trust you anytime he needs to talk to someone. See sometimes abuse survivors seem to have a behaviour just linked to the age when they felt protected before the abuse. it happens. I can advice you to give him courage because it seems to me that this the most important thing he needs at the moment. And eventually pray for him by yourself or with him.
You both will be in my prayers