Being shameless is a new trend and a production of Mass-Media. In every past culture shame was a virtue and stupidity was a sin. It is sad that the ideal of a quiet, noble, respectful, intelligent, cultivated person is now being replaced by a loud, blatant, belching self-centered clown that thinks he knows everything, tells joke to which he is the only one to laugh, has no shame into admitting he hates books etc., etc. This is what a shameless perosn looks to me. A person that does dumb things with the serenity of a boor. I got a little carried away because I couldn´t believe that every person that responded to this thread thinks shame is a bad feeling.
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P
I can appreciate this view of shame. It is like a double-sided coin. In every case, shame has the potential to keep you from doing something. So shame could keep us from acting like a complete fool, and it could also keep us from sharing our burdens with those who care about us. Sometimes we should shamelessly tell the world that we love Jesus Christ. Other times we shouldn't shamelessly rip our clothes off in public and behave like a heathen.
R
I never said there should be no shame. I just meant I think it's sad that humans should need shame in order to learn right from wrong. It's an unfortunate fact that without the pain, no one would learn.
I have always had a sensitivity to shame and guilt. I only need a very very low dose to teach me what is wrong. I am not like those people who can just say something mean and walk away with no consequences whatsoever. I don't need to get yelled at by someone to tell me that was wrong. I don't need harsh tough love. My own conscience will not let me relax or have fun or sleep guilt free until I apologize to that person. Any further shaming from other people will just make me feel pointlessly worse and won't really help the situation, cause I already know.
I have always had a sensitivity to shame and guilt. I only need a very very low dose to teach me what is wrong. I am not like those people who can just say something mean and walk away with no consequences whatsoever. I don't need to get yelled at by someone to tell me that was wrong. I don't need harsh tough love. My own conscience will not let me relax or have fun or sleep guilt free until I apologize to that person. Any further shaming from other people will just make me feel pointlessly worse and won't really help the situation, cause I already know.
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J
My first conscious understanding of shame was equally as memorable. I was nine-years-old and spending the day with my babysitter. She had a friend over of whom I'd grown quite fond. My babysitter was paraplegic, and her friend was wheelchair bound also. He had spina bifida. I liked helping so Mike became my buddy. He was 25 and I used to sit on his lap and play cards, until one day... He blurts out of nowhere, "I wonder what Teresa (my mom) would say if she walked in and I was doing this!" He proceeded to grope me. I was shocked, so shocked that it never really registered. My babysitter and little brother saw and we all went on our merry way. A little while later we were picked up and as we were heading to the car my little brother blurts out "Mike touched Jordi...." She grabbed me by the arm and I was utterly confused. I had no clue what was going on. She screamed at me "Why didn't you tell him to stop? Why didn't you tell me?" All I could was cry and say "I don't know. What happened?" As she turned to stomp back to confront Mike, she looked me straight in the eyes and said, "I can't believe you. You should be ashamed of yourself!"
I knew at that point that I was bad. Things would happen and I had no control over them. Because I was bad, they were bound to happen and I had to way to stop them so I may as well just learn to "deal"with them.
I knew at that point that I was bad. Things would happen and I had no control over them. Because I was bad, they were bound to happen and I had to way to stop them so I may as well just learn to "deal"with them.
No Relena, my comment wasn't for you, I'm sorry if I offended someone. I was just revolted because it seemed to me that everyone condemns the feeling of shame so I got focused on the good side of this controversial feeling. But, as we can see from others comments, things aren't black or white and everyone has a different attitude depending on what pops first in his mind when he saw this thread. As I said, I got a little carried away. I apologise if I disturbed someone but I would be also glad if you would understand me also.
I just thought maybe my post came out wrong.
Y
Guilt is a feeling of inadequacy that draws one towards God. Shame is a form of self-pity that draws on yourself even more.
Guilt takes one on a road trip towards the author of our faith. Shame takes one into a descent that focuses on the voice of the enemy.
Guilt is God-given. Shame is self-driven.
Guilt takes one on a road trip towards the author of our faith. Shame takes one into a descent that focuses on the voice of the enemy.
Guilt is God-given. Shame is self-driven.