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If you father was a marine I can guess that He has extremely high standards for his children. Then if you don't match up to them, he can write you off as a failure. But that's not the way God works as a Father. With Him there is no shame. We come to Him accepted fully in every aspect no matter what things we failed at. We can smile at ourselves and keep going. I don't know if you can relate to this. I thought I'd try. I'm praying for you.