I need advice.

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.

DeanMarZ

Senior Member
Jul 9, 2014
137
4
18
#1
Hey everyone! My name is actually Nick haha not dean(I was 15 when I made this account) anyway, now I’m 19 and I ran into a situation and I need advice. Well a year ago I met a girl from Pennsylvania and we talk daily. I live in Florida currently 1,000 miles away from where she lives but I grew such a strong attraction spiritually and physically. However, we both hope for a future but we aren’t going to online date. I probably won’t be able to see her for another two years. During this time it brought my spirt down to a great sadness. I feel hopeless because I want to be with her and I’m always nervous she’ll find someone else and replace me because I never felt so close and attracted to a person throughout my life. I know God has a plan for my life but it’s just so stressful sometimes because I really want to be with this girl and I don’t see myself with anyone else. Anyway, can I get some opinions on this?
 

PennEd

Senior Member
Apr 22, 2013
6,740
2,807
113
#2
Hey everyone! My name is actually Nick haha not dean(I was 15 when I made this account) anyway, now I’m 19 and I ran into a situation and I need advice. Well a year ago I met a girl from Pennsylvania and we talk daily. I live in Florida currently 1,000 miles away from where she lives but I grew such a strong attraction spiritually and physically. However, we both hope for a future but we aren’t going to online date. I probably won’t be able to see her for another two years. During this time it brought my spirt down to a great sadness. I feel hopeless because I want to be with her and I’m always nervous she’ll find someone else and replace me because I never felt so close and attracted to a person throughout my life. I know God has a plan for my life but it’s just so stressful sometimes because I really want to be with this girl and I don’t see myself with anyone else. Anyway, can I get some opinions on this?
How old is this girl? Did you PHYSICALLY meet this girl, and if so where and under what circumstances?
 

DeanMarZ

Senior Member
Jul 9, 2014
137
4
18
#3
How old is this girl? Did you PHYSICALLY meet this girl, and if so where and under what circumstances?
No, we haven’t met yet. I want to meet her this summer but I don’t think my parents will let me. She’s turning 17. I just turned 19. If I would meet her it would be in a public setting like a mall. See that’s the thing also I never met her but I just feel so good about her.
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
67,729
5,606
113
#4
Hey everyone! My name is actually Nick haha not dean(I was 15 when I made this account) anyway, now I’m 19 and I ran into a situation and I need advice. Well a year ago I met a girl from Pennsylvania and we talk daily. I live in Florida currently 1,000 miles away from where she lives but I grew such a strong attraction spiritually and physically. However, we both hope for a future but we aren’t going to online date. I probably won’t be able to see her for another two years. During this time it brought my spirt down to a great sadness. I feel hopeless because I want to be with her and I’m always nervous she’ll find someone else and replace me because I never felt so close and attracted to a person throughout my life. I know God has a plan for my life but it’s just so stressful sometimes because I really want to be with this girl and I don’t see myself with anyone else. Anyway, can I get some opinions on this?

Sure.. here's some advice..

1. Online dating rarely, if ever, works out. I know you said you're not going to do that, but in case you change your mind, be warned.. lol

2. Have you ever actually seen her? Like, on Skype or wherever? Another user here is currently caught up with an online catfish who he met through a dating app. So be positive she IS who she says she is..

3. Two years is a long time, but you're both young and shouldn't hope to commit to each other. If she (or you) finds someone else, then you'll just to have to accept it and move on.

4. Do you honestly feel she is the one that God intends for you? And that you're the one He intends for her? Because if you (or she) aren't, then there's no way this will work out..
 

PennEd

Senior Member
Apr 22, 2013
6,740
2,807
113
#5
No, we haven’t met yet. I want to meet her this summer but I don’t think my parents will let me. She’s turning 17. I just turned 19. If I would meet her it would be in a public setting like a mall. See that’s the thing also I never met her but I just feel so good about her.

Ok. Thanks for the info.

My advice is NO. I've seen this movie before several times. One time in particular, friends of mine had a daughter who got so infatuated with a guy online that she never met, several states away, left her home against her parents wishes, in a very ugly manner, and married the guy.

Her relationship with her family is severely damaged. Several yrs down the road from this, she is not really happy with the outcome, and only now is starting to understand that her parents REALLY DID have her best interests at heart. I know this same exact scenario may not happen in your case, but it almost certainly won't end well.

I know this isn't what you wanted to hear, but it's what you NEED to hear. Slowly withdraw from this situation. Get hooked into a good Church that has a good young adult connect group, and get to know a girl in person.

Sorry guy, but feelings and truth don't always mesh.
 

DeanMarZ

Senior Member
Jul 9, 2014
137
4
18
#6
Sure.. here's some advice..

1. Online dating rarely, if ever, works out. I know you said you're not going to do that, but in case you change your mind, be warned.. lol

2. Have you ever actually seen her? Like, on Skype or wherever? Another user here is currently caught up with an online catfish who he met through a dating app. So be positive she IS who she says she is..

3. Two years is a long time, but you're both young and shouldn't hope to commit to each other. If she (or you) finds someone else, then you'll just to have to accept it and move on.

4. Do you honestly feel she is the one that God intends for you? And that you're the one He intends for her? Because if you (or she) aren't, then there's no way this will work out..
Yeah I’ve seen her on video chat. Also thank you so much for the advice.
 

DeanMarZ

Senior Member
Jul 9, 2014
137
4
18
#7
Ok. Thanks for the info.

My advice is NO. I've seen this movie before several times. One time in particular, friends of mine had a daughter who got so infatuated with a guy online that she never met, several states away, left her home against her parents wishes, in a very ugly manner, and married the guy.

Her relationship with her family is severely damaged. Several yrs down the road from this, she is not really happy with the outcome, and only now is starting to understand that her parents REALLY DID have her best interests at heart. I know this same exact scenario may not happen in your case, but it almost certainly won't end well.

I know this isn't what you wanted to hear, but it's what you NEED to hear. Slowly withdraw from this situation. Get hooked into a good Church that has a good young adult connect group, and get to know a girl in person.

Sorry guy, but feelings and truth don't always mesh.
Yeah I understand. I think I made a fantasy world in my head. I do still want to meet her one day but you’re right I’m going to try to withdraw slowly. Maybe down the line when we’re older there could be something there
 

Mel85

Daughter of the True King
Mar 28, 2018
7,818
4,095
113
#8
Pray about this okay. You both are still very young to commit to anything.

:)
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
67,729
5,606
113
#9
Yeah I’ve seen her on video chat. Also thank you so much for the advice.

You're welcome. This other member I spoke of, deleted his account here recently, but he knows the person he's conversing with is a catfish but he doesn't want to admit it to himself, and apparently he got tired of us trying to warn him. I just don't want to see that happen to you. :)
 

Hungry

Senior Member
Nov 26, 2012
1,904
519
113
#10
My two cents; when you are hungry (not me, Hungry), everything looks delicious. You described just about every girl I dated in high school. If she, or you, find someone else then it’s for the best. Most of the time the things out of reach are seemingly more desirable.
 

DeanMarZ

Senior Member
Jul 9, 2014
137
4
18
#11
Update, stuff ended. She basically became really cold towards me. I feel very sad but it'll get better.
 

Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
26,213
4,664
113
#12
Update, stuff ended. She basically became really cold towards me. I feel very sad but it'll get better.
She has simply done what you could not: removed herself from an untenable situation.
Best to rip the band aid off quickly, rather than slowly ;)