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aubrey

Guest
#1
#1
I'm 17. A guy my age at school is starting to be more friendly. I have a hard time telling the difference between a friendly gesture and a flirty gesture, though. I try to be friendly back, but what if he has a hard time telling friendly from flirty too? How can I keep it obvious that I'm not interested without being straightforward saying "I just want to be friends"?

Do you think sometimes it's hard, and that if the friendship happens to lead to him liking me and/or thinking I like him, I might just have to be straightforward?
 
mystdancer50

mystdancer50

Senior Member
#2
Feb 26, 2012
2,522
50
48
#2
Wow. I totally understand what you mean. I read too much into guy friendliness sometimes. It's rare, but it does happen. Then, I suddenly realize, "Hey, they were just being friendly." I think the issue is that we so rarely experience friendliness at this level that we immediately lean to the 'dating' and 'liking' area. :)

I would say just be upfront from the beginning. I would just say something like, "I am so glad that we can be friends because I love to have guy friends that I can bounce things off of and get a perspective on." I would also not spend time alone together. I know people will consider this prudish in this day and age, but really, spending time alone leads to that feeling of 'dating'. I would also attempt to avoid excessive texting and long phone calls.

Friendships with the opposite sex are a very fragile thing and this is why many believe it isn't possible. However, if you establish boundaries and intentions at the start, then there will be no worries. I had two really great guy friends in my early twenties and we were never awkward with each other and never ever felt like we may 'like' each other in 'that way'. We were godly friends and it was great. :)
 
Z

zaoman32

Guest
#3
#3
With guys, it's always best to be straightforward whether you want to be or not. Men, in general, do not do well with subtle hints, and suggestions. Keep your intentions known.

Personally I think it's very important for guys and girls to maintain relationships, I really believe it's something we all need, (hence the reason for marriage). To have that opposite sex to exchange ideas and spend time with.
 
MrHonest

MrHonest

Senior Member
#4
Jan 22, 2012
4,093
4
38
#4
Sincerely, just tell the guy: Its cool to talk to you and all but I like being single and I'm not interested in bf's or relationships. Because there are too many boys nowadays that thing bf's and gf's are short term and relationships are long term so saying both will be a detailed enough response that he won't respond with,"But what if its just temporary ;)"

Anyway be straightforward for sure guys prefer that and I'm the kind of guy who likes subtle hints too :p
 
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