Hello, and good morning. In recent news, an unidentified aircraft has been spotted hovering over the gulf of New Mexico. Earlier today, a press conference with the mayor of Cheesedulaville, Arthur McKokonuddalazasalamel, was abruptly interrupted by Evanimium protester, Donald Chess. Chess was reported last seen in the province of British Columbia with his wife, three children, cat, dog, and hamster. Co-founder of the iWin Corp. past away yesterday morning leaving all WINNING rights to his last remaining heir, Searhing4Truth. Japanese celebrity, fashion icon and musician, Hikari Sanada was assassinated 2 years from today leaving 5 children and 7 husbands behind. In other news a puppy was found dragging the body of a homeless man back to his shelter after finding, Dale Crisenson passed out under a railway bridge. Dale Crisenson was later questioned as to how he got under the bridge and why...