Let's get the basics out of the way. I'm not someone who suffers from depression. I have uppers and downers, like everyone else, but I never get into a spiral that I feel like I can't get out of. But many people are in that later situation, perhaps some on this very forum.
I'm posting this because someone I know of recently committed suicide. I never actually met her, but she was close to someone else I am friends with. But it still cuts me up inside like nothing else, not least because of the impact it had on my friend. She is not the first person I know of who has committed suicide, but it is not something that gets, or should get, easier for anyone to deal with the more it happens. I feel I need to write this partially as a way to reflect, but also to make sure that this isn't a topic that disappears off people's radar.
In some respects depression is something I don't, and don't pretend to, understand, and it's something that every instinct in me cries out to try and 'fix'. But I can't, and shouldn't try to - depression is not some kind of bacterial disease to be magically cured, it's not a deformity to be 'corrected', and it's one of those things that if you try to fix with cool words or 'sage' advice, you make it worst. It is something that many people live with - someone you know and love, who is an amazing, loving, valuable person, likely also lives with depression.
The best I can do as a human being is 'be there' physically, emotionally, prayerfully, and hope that by being a listening presence first of all, and maybe be someone who secondarily offers some simple advice from 'outside the box', I can be of some small help.
So this thread is here just to say - if you are someone who battles depression, don't be afraid to let others know.
Don't feel like you have to bottle things up, don't let the black dog convince you you aren't worth others time, and that you should just keep it secret. If someone ask whether you are doing ok, be honest with them. They are probably asking because they love you, and want to help in whatever way would best serve you.
There are plenty of people, plenty of Christians, who love you as Christ loves you. Christians who have their own shames, and who understand that sometimes we just need someone to shut up and listen, to 'be there'.
Even when you feel at your worst, when you're at the end of your tether, just let someone know that's where you are, so they can come to the end of the rope with you. Please don't go out there alone. You are dearly loved.
If you don't struggle with depression, but perhaps know someone who is, please check in on them. Ask them nicely, in a comfortable environment and at a comfortable time, how they are going. It is probably going to be easier for you to ask, than for them to bring it up. Listen before talking (I consider myself terrible at this, but it's SO important). You don't need all the answers - you just need an ear.
If you don't know how you can be of assistance to someone in that situation, here is a good website from Australia that can give you some tips, so you can be useful and loving, and not accidentally destructive.
If you need help NOW, call someone NOW. Most countries and states will have special hotlines that you can call NOW to chat to a qualified expert anonymously. In Australia, a good number to call is 13 11 14.
I'm posting this because someone I know of recently committed suicide. I never actually met her, but she was close to someone else I am friends with. But it still cuts me up inside like nothing else, not least because of the impact it had on my friend. She is not the first person I know of who has committed suicide, but it is not something that gets, or should get, easier for anyone to deal with the more it happens. I feel I need to write this partially as a way to reflect, but also to make sure that this isn't a topic that disappears off people's radar.
In some respects depression is something I don't, and don't pretend to, understand, and it's something that every instinct in me cries out to try and 'fix'. But I can't, and shouldn't try to - depression is not some kind of bacterial disease to be magically cured, it's not a deformity to be 'corrected', and it's one of those things that if you try to fix with cool words or 'sage' advice, you make it worst. It is something that many people live with - someone you know and love, who is an amazing, loving, valuable person, likely also lives with depression.
The best I can do as a human being is 'be there' physically, emotionally, prayerfully, and hope that by being a listening presence first of all, and maybe be someone who secondarily offers some simple advice from 'outside the box', I can be of some small help.
So this thread is here just to say - if you are someone who battles depression, don't be afraid to let others know.
Don't feel like you have to bottle things up, don't let the black dog convince you you aren't worth others time, and that you should just keep it secret. If someone ask whether you are doing ok, be honest with them. They are probably asking because they love you, and want to help in whatever way would best serve you.
There are plenty of people, plenty of Christians, who love you as Christ loves you. Christians who have their own shames, and who understand that sometimes we just need someone to shut up and listen, to 'be there'.
Even when you feel at your worst, when you're at the end of your tether, just let someone know that's where you are, so they can come to the end of the rope with you. Please don't go out there alone. You are dearly loved.
If you don't struggle with depression, but perhaps know someone who is, please check in on them. Ask them nicely, in a comfortable environment and at a comfortable time, how they are going. It is probably going to be easier for you to ask, than for them to bring it up. Listen before talking (I consider myself terrible at this, but it's SO important). You don't need all the answers - you just need an ear.
If you don't know how you can be of assistance to someone in that situation, here is a good website from Australia that can give you some tips, so you can be useful and loving, and not accidentally destructive.
If you need help NOW, call someone NOW. Most countries and states will have special hotlines that you can call NOW to chat to a qualified expert anonymously. In Australia, a good number to call is 13 11 14.
