Looking for a wife.. Hahah no for real.. :)

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RoryR9

Guest
#1
#1
Hey whats going on family. I've been looking for a wife in my church and another church for the past year.. I have a few friends and sisters who are friends but no one I can see as being a part of my life. Well there is one but she has a 3 yr old daughter and I'm not looking to have kids so young. I want to travel and see a few places, I mean she's got a great heart and is beautiful but I don't make decisions based on beauty and just being sweet. Theres another girl I get along with and she's shown interest, from what I can see she studies the Word which is the main thing that concerns me however she's made it clear on her Facebook that she'd love to adopt a child, she's a ring (wedding ring) designer so the career choice tells me that she's very romantic which is a plus but women who are all about romance tend to be extremely unhappy when their husband doesn't do what they want them to do. Anyways I am reading into it and I don't want to hear that there is one woman out there for you because the truth is it comes down to our decision. Get the love mystery out of here because thats been brainwashed into us by hollywood. Choose wisely and your life will be prosperous.

I don't know what I'm asking here, I don't know if I need advice and I've been careful to check on the girls I'm interested in to scope their understanding of scripture and their personality. I'm a good looking and social guy so finding a girl is not an issue for me not that I go out with any because we aren't called to this, using wisdom we can decide off hand if the girl we're interested in is the girl we want to be with. Its all down to personal choice and wisdom.. Okay thats it, lets hear what you have to say. I don't want to hear follow your heart, its deceitful. :)
 
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Ugly

Guest
#2
#2
Sounds like you're pretty judgmental. Doesn't seem like you take time to get to know women well, but look for a few clues on the outside and assume you know the person enough to decide. So many things wrong with that. So much you miss. So much you can assume or misinterpret.
Such as a wedding ring designer must automatically be hyper-romantic and demanding of their husband to be as well. What a load of crap. To assume so much of someone off of so little information is shallow and judgmental.
And 'sweet' and having a 'good heart' don't always mean the same thing. Sweet can be an act. Having a good heart is a reflection of character.
Perhaps it's time to get personal and learn facts instead of sitting back with binoculars thinking you know any real information about these women or they kind of people they are. How many good women are you passing up because you think you know so much about them when in reality all you see is the surface and make assumptions? Truth is if you don't take your time and find out you'll pass up a lot of potentially good women.
 
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JeniBean

Guest
#3
#3
You're 19!! You do not need a wife, you do not even know who you really are yet.
 
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RoryR9

Guest
#4
#4
Hello Beautiful, :)

I refuse to call anyone ugly, I actually know them both quite well. I have decided not to get emotionally involved with a women as they get the wrong idea. being friends has been a challenge for them as I am attractive so we tend to converse when we are around the group. I went to a camp not so long ago and had the opportunity to better get to know a few girls. Yes I understand you when you say I'm pretty judgmental however there's no-one else who will be judging her character except for me so its important that I use wisdom when choosing my wife.

Thank you for your input. I appreciate the time you've taken to respond. I will edit my post to state that I actually know these girls quite well that should help.

God bless you

RoryR9
 
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GodIsSalvation

Banned
#5
Dec 18, 2013
6,733
45
0
#5
RoryR9 said:
Hey whats going on family. I've been looking for a wife in my church and another church for the past year.. I have a few friends and sisters who are friends but no one I can see as being a part of my life. Well there is one but she has a 3 yr old daughter and I'm not looking to have kids so young. I want to travel and see a few places, I mean she's got a great heart and is beautiful but I don't make decisions based on beauty and just being sweet. Theres another girl I get along with and she's shown interest, from what I can see she studies the Word which is the main thing that concerns me however she's made it clear on her Facebook that she'd love to adopt a child, she's a ring (wedding ring) designer so the career choice tells me that she's very romantic which is a plus but women who are all about romance tend to be extremely unhappy when their husband doesn't do what they want them to do. Anyways I am reading into it and I don't want to hear that there is one woman out there for you because the truth is it comes down to our decision. Get the love mystery out of here because thats been brainwashed into us by hollywood. Choose wisely and your life will be prosperous.

I don't know what I'm asking here, I don't know if I need advice and I've been careful to check on the girls I'm interested in to scope their understanding of scripture and their personality. I'm a good looking and social guy so finding a girl is not an issue for me not that I go out with any because we aren't called to this, using wisdom we can decide off hand if the girl we're interested in is the girl we want to be with. Its all down to personal choice and wisdom.. Okay thats it, lets hear what you have to say. I don't want to hear follow your heart, its deceitful. :)
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Lol my apologies this kinda made me laugh a little bit. Best of hope to you though, I think you have a good outlook on dating and women. I know it's the cliché, but don't be dismayed if you have to wait a lil while, everything in it's season. Praise Jesus and I hope you find a good Christian wife for you to love and whom will love you.
 
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RoryR9

Guest
#6
#6
Hi Jeni,

Actually I'm very mature and the times we are living in its not good for men to be alone. Scripture says this in numerous places.. Here are just two.

Genesis 2:18
"The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."

and

1 Corinthians 7:2
"But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband."

I understand you seeing me as too young but this is how the world works today, I go out with my friends and get hit on by girls its not easy for any man no matter how strong you are. The bible says that we should always run/flee sexual immorality and in the world we live in it has become a place of sin and lasciviousness. I know girls that are having sex with a couple guys and guys don't mind it. God does not want this for me not for them. I've been set apart and want to have my beautiful bride and travel with her. If anything God has blessed me and chosen me as His son to be a light to the world.

In everything I choose to follow Christ and I believe this is His way rather than having every woman be a temptation.

I appreciate your response.

Thank you

RoryR9
 
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RoryR9

Guest
#7
#7
Hahaha looking back on it now it is quite funny. I was in a certain frame of mind when I wrote it, not that I would change anything. Thats me.

I hope the same for you if you haven't found anyone yet, I've been proactive in finding my wife but since christmas I haven't really put in the effort. I am this weekend. Going to another church on Saturday and then to mine on Sunday. I'm not extremely eager but know that Gods ways are practical as well as Spiritual, we pray and ask and also act. A lot of people think that you have to wait and wait and the girl will just arrive or you'll just meet them..

I was shocked by this when I spoke to a friend of mine, his idea was sooooo spiritual I was disagreeing with him as soon as he opened his mouth.. He's hilarious actually, he said this I'll try and quote him "I'll pray and the girl will come to me" so I asked him "so don't you look for girls at church cos thats where you'll find the christian girlS" he replies "No, no I go to church to praise God, not to find girls" "but" I said "thats where you find your wife, after you've praised God, heard the Word you spend time with the girls right" he replied "No I go home" so I laughed "Naaa you have to spend time with the family of God thats what church is about, its the people and thats where your wife is, she won't just turn up at your door step" and he replied "I'll pray and will find her at the shop or on the street" I just laughed and looked at him like no you must be joking "No thats not going to happen, if you do that you'll wait for ever because most people aren't christian, church is the place, aaaaggh I know you're are shy, you're shy" he replied "mmmm no, yeah a little" Hahahahaa sorry I tell that story to a few of my friends. I shouldn't but its funny..

Thank you for your encouragement.

RoryR9
 
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JeniBean

Guest
#8
#8
RoryR9 said:
Hi Jeni,

Actually I'm very mature and the times we are living in its not good for men to be alone. Scripture says this in numerous places.. Here are just two.

Genesis 2:18
"The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."

and

1 Corinthians 7:2
"But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband."

I understand you seeing me as too young but this is how the world works today, I go out with my friends and get hit on by girls its not easy for any man no matter how strong you are. The bible says that we should always run/flee sexual immorality and in the world we live in it has become a place of sin and lasciviousness. I know girls that are having sex with a couple guys and guys don't mind it. God does not want this for me not for them. I've been set apart and want to have my beautiful bride and travel with her. If anything God has blessed me and chosen me as His son to be a light to the world.

In everything I choose to follow Christ and I believe this is His way rather than having every woman be a temptation.

I appreciate your response.

Thank you

RoryR9
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So here is my thought. YES there are woman like that out there. However all woman are not like that. I know many young woman who are still virgins and very GODLY woman and like you shake their heads at what others of this age group are doing. That being said my nanny was 18 when she was married. I told her exactly what I told you, you are to young to know who you really are. You can be mature, she was very much so. HOWEVER during the next 10 years you really, really grow a lot in many areas. She now 5 years later is getting a divorce. Both are strong Christians...they have tried, however they are so different NOW and can't seem to patch it up.
 
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RoryR9

Guest
#9
#9
Hi Jeni,

Thank you for your response, I 'm sorry that your nanny is getting divorced this is not God's plan for us nor should be our plan going into marriage. Unfortunately we are quick to make light of peoples emotions the more we get to know them, we become too familiar and forget the very command that Christ gives us and Paul then emphasises by stating that the husband must die to himself and lay his life down for his wife. In the instance of divorce between a christian man and wife it is almost always the husbands fault, he has not laid down his life as Christ did for the church, if so christians would never divorce accept for the wife choosing divorce. Men are almost always to blame and you can take that to the bank, and if she had an affair he must die more to himself and sacrifice his feelings for his wife. I don't know their situation nor will I ask about it, what I do know is Christ is the first and the last and His ways are higher and more supreme. He shows the way in which we should conduct ourselves and so our love must be great, our prayer must be more devoted and our desire for her good must be our final goal. It is so important that our very salvation comes into question because our love walk is not like that of Christ's, we must then question whether we have the Spirit of God and repent and turn from our ways so that we would be healed and restored and able to love deeper.

Thank you Jeni, your insight is really appreciated, I know that even with maturity I can not be assured of a perfect marriage but I'm not asking for one. I'm asking for an imperfect marriage made perfect through the blood of Christ, I will be wise and take it slow. It's not like I want a wife next week, I will take my time to get to know her who ever she is knowing that emotions are secondary to wisdom, truth, life goals and perception of marriage. Friendship is most important, if a woman can't get along with you because they can't agree with you then thats a good sign :) I think. I haven't had this problem with christian girls but am pretty certain that non christians are not on the table as their understanding of nearly everything is nill. No wisdom or clarity, truly the Word of God is life to the dead and light to the blind.

God is good.. I don't where I'm going with this..

God bless you Jeni and if you'd like send me her name and I'll pray for both of them.

RoryR9
 
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RoryR9

Guest
#11
#11
Its funny I agree with you, now think of me as 25 and forget about age. I think you have to look at the society we're in and see what we're dealing with. I know things were different a couple years ago but now with television, internet, social networks, schools, parents and everything else screaming sex sex sex and sleep with as many women as you want and have fun, look at those boobs there and these over here. As a young christian man or woman you need to guard yourself to the point of not watching tv, no cinema, no movies, no social media unless restricted, no listening to worldly parent sand their advice to have a girlfriend and dad telling you you should bone a girl. There's far more going in the way of living for Christ and doing relationship the right way. Age should be left out of the argument.
 
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