Marriage problems!!!

[Jesrenee1116]

I'm 21 married for over a year now with an eleven month old and another baby due any day. I'm trying to walk the path God wants me too but it's hard when my marriage is struggling. My husband cheated on me with a neighbor days before our wedding last november then again about march! I have been faithful to him since we met I try forgiving him but something always brings it up. He doesn't even act like he is sorry either. A few hours ago I found porn on his history this hurt me so much as I feel like he is cheating on me again. When I confronted him of course he lied then brought up cheating on me and said he laughed about it. I give him whatever he wants sexually. i do whatever he asks even tho im 9 months pregnant i do all the house work an cant ask help from him with our 11 month old. He will occasionally help with small things then it back to his friends or a game. He ignores my feelings and needs and puts everything before me. He has been with at least two other women and looks at porn. I'm trying to live a normal life being married a house wife with children. But it's hard when I'm treated so wrong. I don't believe in divorce I keep wishing he would just change. We started going to church about 6 months ago too at first he stopped everything pills, drinking and pot. We always made a way to church no matter what. Now we rarely make service our church is an hour away. And he has been smoking pot daily buying a few times a week if he runs out he finds a way to get more. All I want is to have a loving marriage a be a good mother. I'm so confused on what to do and how to handle this mental stress and abuse. Any advice would be appreciated.

 

[bless09]

hi..it saddens me what you're going through that in such a young you already experiencing those kind of things..i cant say anything about marriage..im 22 but not married but as a christian ill say a few things..most of the times the things we experience are the results of our past decisions that's why when we decide we always have to weigh the pros and cons and as christians we always need to ask ourselves,will it glorify my God??or im just giving in with the desire of my flesh??much more when we enter marriage,it's a sacred thing..as young as we are we always rush on things esp. on love but you know the damage has been done..i think you need to go to your pastor,as young as you and now that you have 2 young children you need a mature and Godly advice..your situation now is not healthy to all of you esp. psychologically and spiritually speaking..you need to pray always and ask God for wisdom..you need to read your bible because you can find the right answer there..be strong for your kids..ill always pray for your and your family..

 

[Brenco]

Hi there! I was really moved by your story. You're in a very nasty spot. Reading about your position and seeing your age I would advice the following. You need a spiritual mentor, like a pastor or someone who loves God and honours you. I'm only a couple of years older and I too have a mentor, it is such a great help! You need this because you'll need to make a stand for yourself and your family and it will be very difficult to do this without someone backing you up. Normally in a marriage you would back each other whenever one is in trouble. This time your husband is clearly on the wrong path. Pray that God will give you someone to trust, in real person. Preferably with a church or organization that is mature enough to support you in prayer as well, without judgement. I think this is in agreement with what bless09 said as well.

Know that you're very beautiful, He loves you, He is moved by your situation and I believe He will honour your prayers. Biblically speaking you are spiritually like a separated couple because your husband committed adultery. You're in a position of abuse not in a marriage. A marriage is not defined by only giving a yes at the altar, but it is a deep sense of honour from both directions.

I don't know if you have family you can trust, but maybe you can shelter there a bit and find a safe place where you can work out your position on this within your relation with Jesus.

Bless you girl!