I recently had that same scenario... I felt like I wanna let go and just do what I wanna do and just take pieces of the whole doctrine to guide my life. I was even growing disillusioned to it all that just not believing sounded appealing.
Beyond the "have faith" and "God loves you", which in these situations honestly is a bit idiosyncratic in effect... we have to remember that we have a RELATIONSHIP with Him. And no matter how strong our relationship is with Him, time will come when cracks will appear and questions will just bunch themselves in. In every relationship, it pays to be REAL AND HONEST, not to bring the other person down, but to address issues and resolve them.
Why not BE HONEST with Him? Why not share to Him whatever thoughts and doubts you have? He said in His word that if we are burdened, He will carry it for us. Be honest with God not to trash talk Him, but to acknowledge the pain we have of things not working out, and to seek His comforting hands.
God knows our hearts and being honest with Him is already a way of surrendering. Even King David was real to God. When things are going wrong, when his prayers are somewhat unheard, David really told God how he feels. However, he did not do it to make excuses. He did it to seek God and acknowledge that there is a problem that he needs to resolve with and through God.
So maybe we don't understand things right now. Maybe we like don't wanna hear "God loves you! Have faith". But one thing is for certain-- God is willing to listen to you. He is willing to carry your burdens and embrace you with his boundless mercy.
Just seek Him and tell Him everything. Not to make excuses. But to make resolutions. Hope this helps
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