newly wed

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K

kaylagrl

Guest
#21
#21
believingseeker said:
I understand the fine line and differences there are between men and wemon. Me and her have dated for seven years and my last post was out of anger she is the perfect woman.
She always puts me first takes care of me and sees me as I am. The only thing we ever argue is about the bedroom. I do see what you mean about her not liking her self. She is (not in my eyes) a larger woman and that makes her feel sad. I compliment her ( whistle to her, tell her she's sexy , always hugging her tell her she beautiful every chance I get ect.) But she doesn't believe it. We use to nvr have problems in the bed but bout three years ago she just lost all interest in it. Wich makes it even harder. Such a beautiful person and me always wanting as it is. I can't resist but that makes her mad if I ask or try to barter.
I'm very selfish when it come to this. And when she she says no it sends a lot threw my head. I usually try doing things for it bartering and nvr seems to add up enough. She also gets mad and says u shldnt do that just to get sex but BC u love me.
I gues what I'm trying to say is there a way to barter or ways to compliment her to make her feel good. Be I feel like I'm spinning my wheels.
Click to expand...

So she does have a self esteem issue! I sensed that.Has she tried to lose weight,is she wanting to try? I was always slim and had to take a pill for stomach issues. I gained a lot of weight and its been hard on me because Ive never had a weight issue in my life.So I understand how she feels.Nothing makes you feel more insecure about weight or anything else then being intimate with someone.

I think you need to stop the bartering and ask her what she really wants.I think you are giving her the vibe that all you care about is sex and not taking her needs into consideration,from what you are saying.You need to find out what her needs are,not just sexual either. Slow down and communicate with her. Every marriage has bumps where you have to work it out.Being over eager and pushing is only going to push her further away.
 
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believingseeker

Guest
#22
#22
I get what u r saying. And I do try, I cook clean, give her massages and foot rubs ( I hate feet). I give her her space after work I try to cuddle I wait on her every day. I constantly give her complements and tell her she's beautiful. She always says she wants to lose wait but nvr wants to try. I nvr push that BC I think she is perfect the way she is. She wld feel a lot better if she did bit I've nvr once ever said that. I talk to her every night before bed I write sweet notes and*pack her lunch. Tell me what else I can do to find what she needs. I'm honestly asking BC I have no idea. I've tried all I can and still lost when do I get to say this is what I need without hurting her. She is my life and I don't ever want anyone else but I have needs too. When do the guys get to say I want this?
 
P

Practice-English

Guest
#23
#23
believingseeker said:
Hey I just got married and still on the honeymoon and still madly in love however we are hitting frustration. Especially when it comes to honeymoon things. I find myself getting very frustrated and end up saying things I don't mean. I'm a very active young man and she not so much. I understand marriage doesn't make problems go away and I am more then willing to work. But my temper and lack of patients make my fuse short. Especially when she is just as stubbern as I am. I just feel depressed and its should not be this way. I'm not sure what's wrong with me.
Click to expand...
Did you take the time
to know her before getting married?
Each person has his own qualities and defaults...
Humans are unique so it's not possible that the person
who you marry has the same character and same personality
as you because you've grown up in different family.
 
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believingseeker

Guest
#24
#24
Yea we dated for 7 and a half years. We have lived together for two. We got to know each other pretty well. And like I've said before she is the perfect woman. It's me that is the problem. She pampers me but what i am struggling with is our wants are polar opposite. Not sure how to convince her to compromise or how to find a better way to get what I want without her giving upbwhat she wants
 
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