resolution, restitution, and closure

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ijustwanttheTruth

ijustwanttheTruth

Senior Member
#1
Sep 28, 2011
823
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#1
how do you feel when relationships go south and you never resolve it with the person?
do you feel incomplete?
what do you do when you have tried to communicate with a person who disagreed with you and it comes to an ugly head and the two of you have to simply agree to disagree bc the both of you are merely incapable of hearing each other...

how about if that person tries to continue with the relationship as if the disagreement never happened?

i don't know about you, but i can't just pretend a rift didn't happen. we either make peace about it or we try and fail, but i feel like there are certain points where relationships/ friendships simply have to be over bc of a blindness on either or both parties.

how do you tend to treat such scenarios?

what do you do when you reach the place of 'irreconcilable differences' with another human being?
ignore?
shut out?
pretend it never happened?
 
Theygaveutheirworst

Theygaveutheirworst

Senior Member
#2
Jun 25, 2010
707
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#2
I've been in that scenario many times sadly. Every time its gone south in a friendship/relationship, it has ultimately ended with us not talking anymore-which was a huge bummer. Some people's personalities just don't mix well together. A lot of times when people meet each other, they put on a nice front. After hanging out with each other for a while, someone's true personality will eventually come out and it will change the relationship drastically.

I'm definitely not a fan of ignoring( or acting like it never happened) what happened. Sometimes people really need to swallow their pride and just apologize. Saying nothing at all- pretending like nothing happened- is just as worse as saying something.
 
Z

zaoman32

Guest
#3
#3
I like to ignore them and pretend they never happened. Though the best way is to really talk them out, find some common ground, and seek out the love.
 
L

Lucy68

Senior Member
#4
Jan 21, 2011
2,538
22
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#4
I don't know if all men are like this but my husband would rather not make a big deal about some things and he'd rather just pretends like 'it' (an argument or flash of temper) never happened. But I think most women, me included, want to resolve whatever the things was; we can't just 'forget' it. He says that's like keeping a scorecard and shows unforgiveness. I don't see it as unforgiveness....I just think it should be reconciled somehow.

If the other person really doesn't want to talk about it anymore then there's no point in bringing it up. I would just try to maintain the relationship on whatever level they are comfortable with. Not everyone is comfortable conversing in a direct and open way. I appreciate polite directness, but not many people do.
 
ijustwanttheTruth

ijustwanttheTruth

Senior Member
#5
Sep 28, 2011
823
8
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#5
Lucy68 said:
I don't know if all men are like this but my husband would rather not make a big deal about some things and he'd rather just pretends like 'it' (an argument or flash of temper) never happened. But I think most women, me included, want to resolve whatever the things was; we can't just 'forget' it. He says that's like keeping a scorecard and shows unforgiveness. I don't see it as unforgiveness....I just think it should be reconciled somehow.

If the other person really doesn't want to talk about it anymore then there's no point in bringing it up. I would just try to maintain the relationship on whatever level they are comfortable with. Not everyone is comfortable conversing in a direct and open way. I appreciate polite directness, but not many people do.
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yesss my ex boyfriend did that! it drove me crazy! i wanted to talk about it and he just wanted to drop it and forget it ever happened. worst clash ever! lol
 
jeremyd

jeremyd

Banned
#6
Jul 15, 2011
92
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#6
I get really lost in it to tell you the truth. I'm glad you asked this.

Somehow I end up taking on too much responsibility for the outcome of the situation and then not enough. It's hard to get to the balance where I can feel comfortable with what my actions were and what God was doing. I know when I'm starting to move on when my prayers for the other person changes. That takes FOREVER.

It's especially difficult when their is a lot of manipulation and control involved. Beyond personality differences, their are some pretty dangerous situations you can get yourself into. Sometimes it's just persecution though which just leaves me restless. haha. Not really a solution there.
 
ijustwanttheTruth

ijustwanttheTruth

Senior Member
#7
Sep 28, 2011
823
8
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#7
jeremyd said:
I get really lost in it to tell you the truth. I'm glad you asked this.

Somehow I end up taking on too much responsibility for the outcome of the situation and then not enough. It's hard to get to the balance where I can feel comfortable with what my actions were and what God was doing. I know when I'm starting to move on when my prayers for the other person changes. That takes FOREVER.

It's especially difficult when their is a lot of manipulation and control involved. Beyond personality differences, their are some pretty dangerous situations you can get yourself into. Sometimes it's just persecution though which just leaves me restless. haha. Not really a solution there.
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i hear you. i don't however know what danger you are referring to
 
jeremyd

jeremyd

Banned
#8
Jul 15, 2011
92
0
0
#8
ijustwanttheTruth said:
i hear you. i don't however know what danger you are referring to
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I had a recent situation where one of the director's I had was laundering money. It wasn't good. I was receiving death threats because of my knowledge of the situation.

Needless to say, their wasn't a reconciliation. I left, afraid, and just a little bit irate about how far I was willing to go to follow God's command on anger.

That tested my belief in God just a little. haha.
 
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