Hi Everyone!
Today I've been thinking about how I see myself versus how God sees me, and I noticed that I have quite a tendency towards the ''sinner'' side instead of the ''child of God'' side. It seems as if I feel more comfortable there because that's how I'm used to seeing myself. I remember that in the beginning of my walk, I had some days where I was afraid to rest in His love, because I thought I would end up taking Him for granted or disrespecting Him. I think this is a kind of behavior i learned from the way my parents treated me.
Now though, I know that when I step into my new identity in Christ, as a beloved child of God, I will be way better at serving Him and others, and I'll feel more peace and comfort instead of guilt and condemnation, which in me results in apathy. I feel like owning my identity in Christ will make me arrogant or puffed up, because I don't deserve it you know? Who am
I to call myself a child of God right? (It's not me who does it, but God, and that's the thing.)
Especially in the light of us needing to be humble before Him, and not thinking highly of ourselves (at least not higher than we ought to think). In a way, owning what God says about us is a form of humility, but because it makes me feel positive things about myself, I am quick to back away from that out of fear of becoming ignorant. I think there can be a fine line sometimes between self-confidence and pride, but that's just me. My habit is to just stay in the ''dirty sinner'' corner, to avoid becoming too prideful.
Does anyone have some advice on how I can let go of this fear of actually feeling good about myself in the way that God sees me? I need to find a balance but I have no idea how to even tackle this issue.
Thank you so much