Sex before marriage

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1

17cherry

Guest
#1
#1
I know the bible is obviously against sex before marriage, fornication and adultery.
However, I sometimes can't help but feel that in this day and age, it can be hard to follow those guidelines - for example, the Bible was written at a time when people would have married much younger and were therefore less likely to have had a chance of engaging in intercourse before marriage. In addition, the courtship between couples would have a much shorter duration. Many couple nowadays are together for many years before they marry - how possible is it to be with someone for say, 6 years, and not have intercourse? I don't know how realistic this can be in general. Because therefore, a prositute would equate to a loving couple who have been together for a long time and each other were their first sexual partners.
I know sex and lust can deviate us from God, and that sex is something spiritual and God meant for it to be done only in the marriage bed.
Discuss?
 
R

rainacorn

Guest
#2
#2
Romans 12:1-2 "Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect."

James 1:17 "Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow."

Yeah, the world has changed and it continues to change... but is it changing for the better?

If it's not changing for the better, why would we want to change with it?

God doesn't change. You can rely on Him. His laws were for back in the day, right now and long into the future...until the very end.

The advice in the Bible about dating and marriage and relationships is AIR TIGHT. It will not steer you wrong if you're really listening and applying it.
 
N

nukreation

Guest
#3
#3
Cherry, I didn't understand why God asks us to wait until we're married and so I didn't. I later regretted not waiting. God has given us laws because He loves us and wants the best for us. Sincere marriage vows will protect you from getting hurt. Too many girls lose their virginity to a guy, only to have him lose interest, and they are left shattered by the experience.
 
1

17cherry

Guest
#4
#4
I know they will, and I know that sex before marriage is wrong. It's just that I've been with a guy for a year and a half, and I've had sex with him before. I want this to change, but I don't really know how to go about it, seeing as it'll be hard since we've done it already.
 
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rainacorn

Guest
#5
#5
17cherry said:
I know they will, and I know that sex before marriage is wrong. It's just that I've been with a guy for a year and a half, and I've had sex with him before. I want this to change, but I don't really know how to go about it, seeing as it'll be hard since we've done it already.
Click to expand...
Why aren't you married?

And if you're not ready to get married, why are you boinking?
 
F

frankleespeaking

Guest
#6
#6
17cherry said:
I know they will, and I know that sex before marriage is wrong. It's just that I've been with a guy for a year and a half, and I've had sex with him before. I want this to change, but I don't really know how to go about it, seeing as it'll be hard since we've done it already.
Click to expand...

well it will be interesting to see from what point of his anatomy does his mind function, if he dumps you for wanting to stop having sex before marriage, its because he thinks from his genitals and not from the heart
 
1

17cherry

Guest
#7
#7
I'm only 20 and I'm still in uni..
 
R

rainacorn

Guest
#8
#8
17cherry said:
I'm only 20 and I'm still in uni..
Click to expand...
So stop having sex and focus on getting your education and becoming the person you have set out to be.

Sex is a distraction from what is important. You deserve better than what you are giving yourself.

If you simply cannot stop yourself from having sex, then get married. It is better to marry than to burn.

If you're not ready for marriage, then why are you in a relationship?! Cut it out.
 
1

17cherry

Guest
#9
#9
I do want to marry him and I do want to get married, but I also need to focus on my education. i just need to think of some ways to resist the temptation and to step back a bit, and just enjoy each others company without anything sexual.
 
shemaiah

shemaiah

Senior Member
#10
Jan 28, 2011
2,233
30
48
29
#10
I think you ought to sit and think about what you want and expect in your life, if you manage to picture exactly what you want, try figuring out the best way to get there, and compare that to the path you are in right now. God bless
 
jonathanbchristian

jonathanbchristian

Banned
#11
Feb 16, 2011
2,957
24
0
#11
You need to put faith in the blood of Jesus. You are a new creation. You have a way of escape from temptation. You can get an education, have a boyfriend, and be a Christian. You need to study Christian living. You can make your own rules to help yourself, like not being alone with your boyfriend. You are not going to be tempted to have sex in public.
 
mystdancer50

mystdancer50

Senior Member
#12
Feb 26, 2012
2,522
50
48
#12
It seems to me that you want the best of both worlds...just like the majority. Choose one or the other - God or the world. Marriage does not prevent you from continuing your education. I say that you either marry or do not date. If you are having trouble visualizing how to abstain, you are already planning to give in. Take some time to ask God what He wants...He will tell you.
 
Mikhal88

Mikhal88

Banned
#13
Jun 3, 2012
60
0
0
#13
You doing exactly what others try do to justify their actions. You must never twist the tongue of the Bible just to suit yourself and your ways. I am 22 years old and still a virgin and i know how hard it is to abstain from the desires, the world has made it harder and harder with all of its immoral media. I can say i am proud to be a virgin but then i think how much did i work on it, because i am a person who never did anything with friends or go out and party or seek any relationship, i would always come up with excuses to girls why i wouldn't go out with them. So i never put myself in any situation to truly be tested... and even today i am scared and know i am still vulnerable and the world around me is killing me.

I don't want to say things for you to believe in the end there is nothing wrong with it because then people always abuse the ideas. That is why one must always be firm on what is right from wrong. Since if i had to speak the truth no one would follow it as it is but will take it as ways to justify their acts.

The best thing you can do in life is acknowledge the world around you and see the right from wrong and intend to make a change. A time is coming where people will have the last chance to make things right and if they fail they will have to fall along with everyone else.
 
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SoldatChristi

Guest
#14
#14
You can't serve two masters. Can't serve sex and Jesus. As for sex before marriage, I have done that mistake before. The Bible is clear on this matter. Culturally, we have changed from the times of when Jesus walked the Earth. Principally we have not. If it is difficult to control your desires, then Paul says it is better to marry than to burn with passion (my own paraphrase). Be sure that you are marrying for the right reasons. Marriage is a serious decision. Sex is like a high. In the right circumstances, it honors and glorifies God. In the wrongs, it gets us addicted and wanting more. Maybe I will link you to a study where it shows that our brain neurons die each time that we have sex and it is not in the right situation. Yes, scientific evidence to back up the claims of the Bible :).

If you're struggling, please pray about it and make the decision to follow Jesus first. Blessings.
 
B

brown_ness

Guest
#15
#15
To 17 cherry...

I know how hard it can be, so I will share my story with you:

I think sometimes you know exactly what is right as a christian, but sometimes you need help!! To be honest, I have been patient so far, and am now 29 years of age. I was starting to believe the lie that it was getting 'late' for me, and that I just needed to be rid of it! That I was somehow a freak in this world and no man would ever wait for me! I thought 'look how easily any man can get that! I will share my story on this thread (have shared it in another one) as it may help you:

I have recently been dating someone who is not a christian (first big mistake!!) for the last six months. He is a good looking man, thoughtful, and we have actually really connected. So I started to fall into that lie that says 'what exactly is the problem? 'As long as he loves me, it should be fine'? I was becoming so weak and although a strong christian for many years, I just wanted love and to feel loved. Sometimes you want love so much, and want that person, that you feel like you will 'put up' with sex, just to get 'love'.

I have realised now that this is WRONG!! That the right man, a man that truly loves you will wait for you. He will not find it 'bizarre' that you want to wait and will respect your body. Oh & your decisions!! Be honest with him about what you want and how you feel. If he really does care for you, he will respect your decision. If he cannot live with it, that is his choice. But do you really want a man who cannot wait for you??

Hope this helps,

I have had to let go of the guy I was dating too. It hurts but it was necessary.

Good luck to you & I pray that God gives you strength to make the right decision :)


Thank God for this site..! & these forums.
 
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Sonny

Guest
#16
#16
crap I have sinned and need advise
 
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Russell1990

Guest
#17
#17
First of all Let me tell you God loves you no matter what you do, his love for you will never stop!

Relationships are to honour and glorify God so if you are not putting him first in your relationship I would question if you should be in that relationship. To hold off in sex it is a declaration to God showing that you are serious about obeying him and sacrifice on your behalf, I think it is important to say that when you have sex with someone the bible makes it clear that two become one, so if that relationship doesn't work out you have already given apart of yourself away, one cannot really become two again. "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh" Genesis 2:24, In Old testament times having sex was considered the way to show marriage.

Like others have mentioned it is not wise to be with a non christian, obviously i don't just want to throw scripture at you as it could make you feel judged and i definently don't judge you. I just desire to see you be the best you can be for God. Matthew 6:33 "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." You mention you need to concentrate on your education more, but i feel you need to concentrate on God more over your relationship and over your education, Philippians 3:7-14, put him first and you will be massively blessed.

I have heard some really helpful talks about sex and relationships recently, if you are interested there are three talks which cover sex, singleness, dating, dating non christians ect. Check them out. Just scroll down and click on "Finding God in sex, relationships and..."

http://mobiliseuk.org/resources/event/mobilise_2012_the_rescue1

I hope it helps.

I will pray for you

God Bless, Russell
 
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