sex before marriage

iitywyhm · Dec 5, 2009

Of course I don't think a label is the worst thing to worry about when engaging in premarital sex. Maddog said something that made it sound as if he thought premarital sex makes you a slut, and I was telling him that that is not the case.

I had sex with my ex. He was my first love, and even though it didn't work out, I will never regret it.

sunshine_debbie · Dec 5, 2009

I hope you dont ever regret it. I hope that with all my heart. But my experience tells me that you will. There will come a day when you have to stand before God and give an accounting of your life. I for one have done so many things that I am dreading that part. If only I had not shamed God, and Jesus, if only I had followed his word like I knew I should have. But I know that Jesus died to forgive the sins that I have committed.

If you refuse to acknowledge that a sin is a sin and that you have committed one, then there can be no forgiveness and that will cause you so very much regret. Maybe not today, maybe not in this earthly life. But eventually and for eternity.

My prayers are with you.

Debbie

Acce · Dec 6, 2009

Well, I say, stay strong, it can be very difficult sometimes, but I love that I'm a virgin, and am not ashamed anymore. I feel happy God has blessed my life.

And pray we may all stay abstinant (or however you say it) till marriage

for God! Not just for ourselves.

the_buffest_possum · Dec 9, 2009

say you are engaged and have relations. then you end up getting married to that person. then you live your life married to that person. in the marriage God is first. what now? is this wrong? i feel like the term marriage should be more defined. if all it takes is a preacher, what if the preacher is not right with the Lord but you dont know it? what then? if you can convince me, i will give you four pesos, because that is worth a meal at taco bell

Kathleen · Dec 9, 2009

it is not oka i -even if they do spend the rest of the life with that person

God dosnt want fornication - it doesnt matter whether they end up getting married

the_buffest_possum · Dec 9, 2009

how do you know?

Kathleen · Dec 9, 2009

it says in the bible that fornicators are not right

they will not inherit the kingdom of heven

firefly1628 · Dec 11, 2009

kelskels said:

I think youre making a GREAT decision. Personally when i was 15 I was "In Love" i "knew" that the boyfriend i was with would be the only guy for me, and i had pre marital sex.

My husband however waited until marriage, and it is the BIGGEST regret of my life. It is one of the only REAL gifts you have to give your husband, and i cannot and will never be able to give that to my husband.

If someone is not willing to wait for you, and isnt sure whether to date you or not because you are saving yourself, then you are with the WRONG person. You will find someone who respects you the way you should be respected (and the way you obviously respect yourself)

You will find someone who is saving themselves for you.

Good Luck!

ever1 · Dec 11, 2009

i know this is not an easy situation for u and its not only because u r young but this day is like the top of the line sin that most of the people makes and think that nothing happened but like Paul said that we are the body of christ and not only that we also are the temple of the holy spirit and it is an honor to take good care of it,of course the people of the world wont see it that way and u know that the devil is doing his best to make u fall but remember we all are being tested and that is only a matter of time to see if u passed or if u fail the test.of course u have forgiveness but remember that the scripture says wow to those who know do good and they don`t do it.we no longer act the way we used to or the way we want,we act in the way we believe and for what we know and we know that sex before mirriage is a sin before the eyes of GOD.

oopsies · Dec 12, 2009

kelskels said:

I'm a guy and I'm a virgin and I think that one should not have sex until after marriage. So at least you fulfilled this part! Now you have very little to worry about and can wait for the right person! ^.^

sunshine_debbie · Dec 12, 2009

the_buffest_possum said:

I attended a Christian school my entire life. I heard this argument over and over again. Its ok to have sex before marriage, because we are going to get married. And most of those couples did. But it always seemed to me that the girls in those relationships were a little sadder, a little more insecure, and a little less faithful to their own convictions. I am not trying to stereotype but it seems like wherever there is a past sin that we have committed, it is a specific "in" that we give the devil to poke at us. Maybe I am wrong, but so very many people who have committed this sin reach older ages and wish they could take it back. Isnt that enough to show younger people that its better to wait?

All I know is that those girls that you are talking about, most of them regretted it, and always will.

Debbie

oopsies · Dec 12, 2009

sunshine_debbie said:

Yes, I've heard that one too same with the living in the same house/room one as well. I mean, if one waited this long and is about to get married, why not wait just a little while longer? After all, you waited all those years! What's a few more weeks/days?

Peace34 · Dec 12, 2009

You are still young and peir pressure will only increase as you get older. Best place to find a guy that respects that and is probably doing the same is at your Church. These are the guys who serve your Church in Missions, Youth Groups, or any other Ministries that your Church may have going on for others. They are the ones who are not selfish and think about serving and respecting the Church. Good Luck

DABEARS85 · Dec 13, 2009

The large majority of the world has sex before marriage. It is almost a necessity nowadays in a culture that isn't exactly Christian based no matter how much the western world tries to pretend. What I'm saying is, don't expect to find a girl/guy partner that has not has sex before marriage. It is pretty rare to find someone that is willing to wait past the age of 18. I'm not saying that I agree with it, but it is the simple truth. To place everyone who have had sexual intercourse before marriage into a stereotypical group of 'nonbelievers' is a false dichotomy as well. What I'm trying to say is, do not judge anyone based on previous sexual relations, because any other sin is just as bad. Have you cheated on a test before? Did you lie and say your dog ate your homework? Have you stolen a pencil from someone's desk before? It is all sin. None of us are perfect like Christ, even if we should strive to be more like Him.

The problem with society is that is is almost impossible to find a true relationship that has no sexual intercourse involved at all. It can be done, but the temptation is always going to be there, and it won't go away. The other issue is that not every partner you have will be the right one to marry. For those of you in high school and in a relationship, the percentage of high school sweethearts that marry and DON'T get divorced is around 2% in the USA. That is not good odds, but then again there is no statistic based on Christian couples. That statistic would be significantly higher I believe. The common sense mark would be don't marry someone that you fell in love with at the age of 14, but every case is different. To marry someone takes quite a bit of maturity, which no matter how much you may "think" you have it, you probably don't at such a young age.

Also, if anyone need's any credibility from me, I am 23 yeas old, in a relationshp, and from the Chicago area, USA. And yes, I've lost my virginity years and years ago. I was a christian back then as well as now, and that has always been a constant. For those of you who can wait, I applaud you, however. Don't let teasing or peer pressure get to you either. One thing I've learned in relationships is that a partner that is unwilling to respect your wishes to wait til marriage is NOT the right one. It isn't love to give up on someone simply because they don't "put out". If they leave you for that, it maybe hurt for a short time, but it will not hurt forever. Marrying the wrong person however, could very much do that. Anyway, I have been rambling on for too long. I hope it works out, but if you fall to the temptation, don't let it keep you down. The blood of Christ washes away all sin.

Christianrkchk89 · Dec 13, 2009

kelskels said:

I'm glad you've decided that!! You're amazing... whatever anyone who's already had sex says. You've probably heard this b4 but ... at this time in life... you have something that people who've had sex can't get back. And these days you're definitely in the minority it seems. But saving sex for marriage is going to have tons of +'s to it! [one major one is that you don't risk getting an STD and sharing it with your future husband.]

I'm 20 now and I also made the same commitment in 8th grade!

There are guys (as you see in this forum) who have waited! I'm sure you can find one if you want to!

But I've also come to realize... that some people do make mistakes. And there are alot of wonderful Christian guys who've made that mistake. What you have to look for though... is if the person is regretful of that mistake. Or if they think it was the greatest thing ever. Because if they aren't sorry that they had sex b4 they married you... they're prolly not the one?

So you can see it either way. If you definitely want to find a virgin...you probably will! But if it's not a big deal (and you'll have to search your heart and talk to God about this) then you'll find alot of great guys that way too!

I give you props again for keeping that commitment! & when someone insults you because of it... just smile at them and walk away.. you're doing a great thing!

Dreamstar · Dec 13, 2009

I my self belive in saving ones self till Marage it is Often hard some times as some men/Ladys tend to crave things but we must rember as Christians this is the right thing to do and if your partner does not and tryes to push you just maby their the wrong person to be with marage is a covent with God that is ment to last a life time so its good to find out where you stand when you are in a relationship such as that-Eric

michiru_maeda · Dec 16, 2009

i feel sorry for those whom get mock, tease, and being the target of joke for commiting to save themselves for marriage.i'm living in asian country and never been teased for being so after 27 yrs of life. most ppl here value virginity. there is also culture change about it. some ppl embrace premarital sex. few of my friends do it. my advice for u is get new circle of friends who has the same value as u. befriending w/ ppl not having the same commitment as u will make u break ur commitment.

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