should I just forget it?

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romans1212

Guest
#1
#1
during my freshman year of college, I had this really close group of friends. It consisted of 4 girls and 1 guy. Me and nate were really close, I told him things that no one else knows about me. But of course, I fell for him. He led me to believe that he was interested too, but I think he was just torn. Long story short, he ended up dating one of my friends ( i had a hard time forgiving her, but I did). He promised me that nothing would change, and we would still remain great friends. I considered us to be so close throughout this, because even though he was the reason I was upset, he wanted to help me get through it ok, he really cared. So, I got over it and things started off good, but soon went downhill. Soon they started ditching me and the rest of our friends. They stopped eating meals with us, and stopped hanging out with us. It wasn't the same. So, eventually, me and one other friend confronted them. We wrote jess a letter, saying how we felt that she had been diting us all of the time for her boyfriend, and how they never hang out or talk to us anymore. Well, that didn't go over well. Nate actually got really mad, and Jess stopped talking to us. They both blocked us on facebook, and we havn't talked since.

I was hurt by this, I suppose I should have been nicer in my letter, but my feelings had been really hurt. that was my freshmen year. This past year, (my sophomore) I sent them both a Christmas card....saying how I missed them and how I wished we could work it out. I never heard from them. We still havn't talked.


I still miss them though, him more than her. I think it's because me and him were just so close, and he ended our friendship just because he felt like I was treating his girlfriend badly. I want so bad to just write them again and try to get through to them, but I don't know if i've already done all I can do? God calls us to forgive and be at peace with one another. I forgive them, but why can't they do the same? I tried with the Christmas card....should I try again?? Or just let it go?? anyone have thoughts?
 
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jimmydiggs

Guest
#2
#2
I have learned this from having moved to several different states and being in different schools. The first time you lose a friend, it can be tough. A few more times, and you become pretty desensitized to it.

However, your situation is different. I would imagine this occupies your mind quite often. If that is the case, and you figure out a way to "take back your conscious", let me know. I'd like to take mine back.
 
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Tinker

Guest
#3
#3
Hi Romans1212. I know thta must be really hard. But it seems like they were never your friends the start with. They used you. I would at least try to forget it, because it can lead to fights and prob jail time. Find some new friends and make sure that they aren't going to use you
 
D

Dread_Zeppelin

Guest
#4
#4
Letters are never a good idea. I would have been angry too if my friends couldn't come face-to-face to me with a simple problem. With a letter you can not defend yourself or explain a situation, it's a one-sided attack.

When two people fall in love they have a honeymoon stage...which sometimes means all they want to do is be together. This always happens. Sometimes its really hard for friends and others but the honeymoon stage eventually goes away. I suppose I understand this situation because myself and my friends have had this happen to us some time or another. It doesn't mean they love you less, it just means they're enthralled with someone else who makes them feel special at the moment.

When you get older things like this doesn't really bother you. You just have to give other people grace until they come around. Its even worse when couples have kids, you'll NEVER see them then!

As for your friends, sure try to contact them. Time is the great healer!
 
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romans1212

Guest
#5
#5
how do you suggest I go about doing it?
 
S

sportygirl

Guest
#6
#6
romans1212 said:
during my freshman year of college, I had this really close group of friends. It consisted of 4 girls and 1 guy. Me and nate were really close, I told him things that no one else knows about me. But of course, I fell for him. He led me to believe that he was interested too, but I think he was just torn. Long story short, he ended up dating one of my friends ( i had a hard time forgiving her, but I did). He promised me that nothing would change, and we would still remain great friends. I considered us to be so close throughout this, because even though he was the reason I was upset, he wanted to help me get through it ok, he really cared. So, I got over it and things started off good, but soon went downhill. Soon they started ditching me and the rest of our friends. They stopped eating meals with us, and stopped hanging out with us. It wasn't the same. So, eventually, me and one other friend confronted them. We wrote jess a letter, saying how we felt that she had been diting us all of the time for her boyfriend, and how they never hang out or talk to us anymore. Well, that didn't go over well. Nate actually got really mad, and Jess stopped talking to us. They both blocked us on facebook, and we havn't talked since.

I was hurt by this, I suppose I should have been nicer in my letter, but my feelings had been really hurt. that was my freshmen year. This past year, (my sophomore) I sent them both a Christmas card....saying how I missed them and how I wished we could work it out. I never heard from them. We still havn't talked.


I still miss them though, him more than her. I think it's because me and him were just so close, and he ended our friendship just because he felt like I was treating his girlfriend badly. I want so bad to just write them again and try to get through to them, but I don't know if i've already done all I can do? God calls us to forgive and be at peace with one another. I forgive them, but why can't they do the same? I tried with the Christmas card....should I try again?? Or just let it go?? anyone have thoughts?
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Friends sepearting when they have a bf or gf is a common mistake. I know of several instances where that has happened. I even did it on some level, when you have someone in your life in that relationship role it is really easy to close yourself off to the rest of the world even those close to you. And if you feel the relationship is right being confronted on it is really going to sting and not usually in a way that is gonna make you come running back. Writing this Christmas card was a good step, because although you guys were hurt, your friend probably doesnt think they did anything wrong. I'm also wondering your motives for getting back in contact, I understand you were close to teh guy but do you still have romantic feelings for him? Cause if you do than maybe contact isnt the best thing when he is still in a relationship, if your hanging onto the friendship only than yeah go for it, loosing your friend isnt a good thing. Just check your motives and pray.
 
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