Umm how do you start all over with God?

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wanting2believe

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#21
ananda.. sigh.. maybe Im just in a bad mood my day was horrible and I will not try to sound frustrated.. but ok.. Ive started to read the bible.. and honestly I just read it.. meditate? I read it and read it, and try to comprehend the meaning behind it.. then I just talk to God. I honestly do not know what to say. I tell him ok God Im here Im trying what do I do now.. what is what your trying to tell me.. what is what you want from me, please let me understand and see it, feel it.. and Im totally sorry cuz I understand you are trying to help and dont think that Im trying to push you.. I like the fact that your being honest, it does annoy me lol cuz you tell me this and you make it sound so easy.. like if I wasnt doing that.. like if I wasnt trying.. but honestly thank you..

SirEbob.. bro.. you cant clown on me.. because you would only look bad.. not me.. but you.. anyways that being said I apologize I know its rude.. but I apologize.. Yes I have turned my back at him..and at times I guess ive thrown myself to him.. landing on my face.. I do talk to him him I know right I dont mind being silly or making a fool out myself. I understand that he doesnt.. but honestly I feel, hear, or see anything.. I do comprehend knowledge of the word of God but I personally never felt any type of relationship with God.. cuz I feel that Im the only one who is "real" because I at least know that Im trying to talk.. I do open my mind.. the simple fact of anybody accepting there is a possibility of him being real is open minded. I do pray for signs and miracles and the holy ghost... I would write it out, I would say it as it came out of me, and now I acutlly have just put t simple and say it (no beating around the bush) um the last part I do not understand, because Ive never seen or have knowledge of it happening. yes it helped cuz it makes me see what others may thing when Im trying so I thank you again and may God bless you