Need help... with a potential relationship.

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A_Silent_Gnome

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So, I've been friends with this Christian girl gnome for a while. We met on a dating site. Yes, embarrassing but thank God for the internet... my embarrassment is covered muahahahah yes yes.. So, she and I are thinking of meeting and there's a problem between me and her.

I like her but we don't seem to have a strong connection per say. Some might call if chemistry or a spark... I don't like calling it that because that sounds like lust to me. I know there are connections that are not based on lust because I've had them before. I've had personality/soul connections where the girl gnome wasn't attractive on the outside but she was still an awesome girl gnome on the inside. I just wanna clear that up as I'm not talking about physical or lust attraction but soul attraction which is what I seek. Ok, enough talk on that...

So, I don't have that connection and I think that's a problem. I think it's because we haven't opened up as much to each other... mostly small talk. Also, I think it's because I keep gnome secrets from her thus creating a fence between us. I think the first thing for me to do is open up.. more and more.. everyday some more stuff so she and I can be more fluid and free in relationship because it doesn't feel as romantic as I'd like it to be.

Thoughts?
 
Sounds like leadership qualities God has given to you ..
I'm a lot like her.. I'm driven on the basis of the leadership in the male role ..and that is revealing an image of christ .. He is the fertilizer that brings me into bloom ..
Some women are so hidden in God a man has to go through God to find them.. Let Him lead you to her .. I bet she will bloom beautifully ..

Best I can explain it...
 
Powemm said:
Sounds like leadership qualities God has given to you ..
I'm a lot like her.. I'm driven on the basis of the leadership in the male role ..and that is revealing an image of christ .. He is the fertilizer that brings me into bloom ..
Some women are so hidden in God a man has to go through God to find them.. Let Him lead you to her .. I bet she will bloom beautifully ..

Best I can explain it...
Click to expand...

Thanks female human

*gives you a flower*
 
Run....


That small talk may be all she is capable of. If there is more to you, there may not necessarily be more to her.


That absence of "Click" that you are feeling is your heart's way of letting you know that this isn't going to work. That there is nothing to gain and nothing to lose.



If there was a spark, the depth and the secrets would feel more at home and easy to share. But if during the course of conversation it never really gets anywhere, thats probably where she is most comfortable, and your secrets and depth might never be understood. She might even find them annoying.
 
Liamson said:
Run....


That small talk may be all she is capable of. If there is more to you, there may not necessarily be more to her.


That absence of "Click" that you are feeling is your heart's way of letting you know that this isn't going to work. That there is nothing to gain and nothing to lose.



If there was a spark, the depth and the secrets would feel more at home and easy to share. But if during the course of conversation it never really gets anywhere, thats probably where she is most comfortable, and your secrets and depth might never be understood. She might even find them annoying.
Click to expand...

Liamson... you really hit the nail on the head.

I do have depth in me. And I just told her about myself even more and revealed myself more... some of my awesomeness... and now she has shown a bit more attention towards me.

Me, I'm still same-ish towards her. I can't help but think she's a great girl... she's mother/wife material. I like that she was the one who asked about pretty important things. (I was thinking of asking these things) Like, political stance... disciplining a child... and she even checked me up on salvation a little bit more. (I was the one who checked us both on salvation when we first met) She has shown me that she has cared about important topics that would affect us in a long term marriage relationship. She's shown maturity.

Also, we agree on all points. And she doesn't mind talking about deepish intelligent topics. Like, the other day we talked a little about gun control. I think she'll appreciate me when I share my deep thoughts... which I think a lot of girls wouldn't.

It's like she's cool and my brain says yes... but my heart isn't lighting up. I'm still missing the connection.
 
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