Hey guys, was just wondering about your thoughts on this.
1 - Do you find you can fall for something because of the qualities they have? Like what you see, who they kind of, 'are' without you.
2 -Or do you sometimes find it is shared experiences - aka someone may not initially seem to have the qualities you are looking for, but because you have shared things together they become close to you? Become attractive to you? Even if you would not initially be interested by who they seem to be.
Obviously it is probably a mix of both - but like, I find having shared experiences makes things very different, even though someone may be very similar in personality or something.
With dating -
It feels like this really weird tension - at one level you are attempting to get to know each other - trying to work out number 1 so to speak, who this person is. But at the second time you are attempting to like... 'build' a relationship, so to speak.
I just find this really weird.
Personally, I don't want to attempt to build a relationship unless I know that things are likely to work out - getting the foundations down so to speak, which is weird because that places who someone is without you above shared experiences.
But practically, with who I am, I don't want to set myself up to be hurt so to speak - I panic if I feel in too deep without knowing enough - now obviously you are going to have to take risks here and there, but to me... it just seems silly to start forming close feelings without knowing. But I do know that this is very different to how others approach it, and it seems cold to others sometimes...
1 - Do you find you can fall for something because of the qualities they have? Like what you see, who they kind of, 'are' without you.
2 -Or do you sometimes find it is shared experiences - aka someone may not initially seem to have the qualities you are looking for, but because you have shared things together they become close to you? Become attractive to you? Even if you would not initially be interested by who they seem to be.
Obviously it is probably a mix of both - but like, I find having shared experiences makes things very different, even though someone may be very similar in personality or something.
With dating -
It feels like this really weird tension - at one level you are attempting to get to know each other - trying to work out number 1 so to speak, who this person is. But at the second time you are attempting to like... 'build' a relationship, so to speak.
I just find this really weird.
Personally, I don't want to attempt to build a relationship unless I know that things are likely to work out - getting the foundations down so to speak, which is weird because that places who someone is without you above shared experiences.
But practically, with who I am, I don't want to set myself up to be hurt so to speak - I panic if I feel in too deep without knowing enough - now obviously you are going to have to take risks here and there, but to me... it just seems silly to start forming close feelings without knowing. But I do know that this is very different to how others approach it, and it seems cold to others sometimes...