Why are so many women attracted to jerks?

[SeatBelt]

why are guys scared of girls?

I move that this should be a new thread.

 

[livingepistle]

I would say that I am attracted to 'bad boy', like not thugs or abusive guys. Maybe it's the courage that attracts me, the fire in the belly to stand for and against something. Maybe that's not the definition of bad boy tho... I read the book "No more Christian nice guy" years back, it was quite insightful in this regard. I agree with Nod, and there is this passiveness among nice guys that turns me off. I am looking for a man to stand up for something, to know that being good doesn't mean being nice, to be protector of the household.

Within the borders of the U.S. women think much differently (treading lightly here). Socially, Men are emasculated and vilified in US society. In Christian (U.S.) society, males have become more effeminate. Many of the males that fit the "John Wayne" typology you describe, are trending towards marring women outside of U.S. borders--so it seems.

I, as a man, appreciate you sharing your insight.

 

[Powemm]

You know , my grandfather was a man of few words .. I will never forget something he did.
There was a broken furnace.. And in a room the men were complaining about it .. Who had the best plan , best tools, best knowledge... I remember watching as my grandfather left the group (my eyes followed him) he went outside, grabbed his
Tool belt, crawled under the house...I sat inside and watched as the men never noticed his departure , they continued their grumblings as I listened .. A few minutes later grandpa came
Back in the house , he smiled and winked at me.. he joined the group of men who were still standing there complaining.. A few minutes later grandpa " as he put one hand on the shoulder of each man standing next to him" said, well you all can relax , the problem is taken care of.. they all turned around with their mouths dropped and open ..

 

[BarlyGurl]

View attachment 47372
HIGH FIVE!

cute dog... but the floor is fantastic... gotta be one of the new laminates... nice! sorry derail... carry on

 

[Fenner]

That's a great story Poweem! My husband is quiet too, he rarely complains. He's a mail man and says it's the best job for him because he can get his mail and go. He would rather be outside then hear the gripes of others about their work.

 

[Powemm]

I noticed that too!! Beautiful coloring .. Pooch is cute too

 

[Powemm]

I think I'll completely derail this thread .. And begin with saying ..
Cc men? God has "not put" the spirit of being a jerk in you.. He has given you the spirit of His character.. Honesty , truthfulness, integrity, joy, love, peace and kindness.. we ladies of God "know" there has been long suffering for you..
However you must count it as all gain .. As it has lead you out of turmoil and into greener pastures .. you are saints, preists., and godly men.. You represent the true nature of who He is by your gentle nature , reassurance if us as women and who God says we "truly" are..
So I will say thank you.. Because i know Gods character I am able to salute you in being a mirror of what I know is true ., I see God through your posts, your dependency in Him.. Your poems and cry outs proving in and of themselves you are indeed doing that .. We observe your strengths and appreciate your attributes.
Are our Cc men jerks??

NEVER! We ladies know that is NOT what God has put in you..

 

[Powemm]

That's a great story Poweem! My husband is quiet too, he rarely complains. He's a mail man and says it's the best job for him because he can get his mail and go. He would rather be outside then hear the gripes of others about their work.

income from a family of postal workers . I know exactly what you're talking about fenner

 

[Catlynn]

I move that this should be a new thread.

I concur.
I also want to know the difference between being afraid/nervous to approach a woman and being intimidated by one. I've been told a lot that I'm intimidating. I try not to be. I try to be approachable but I think I still need to work on it.

 

[iTOREtheSKY]

I concur.
I also want to know the difference between being afraid/nervous to approach a woman and being intimidated by one. I've been told a lot that I'm intimidating. I try not to be. I try to be approachable but I think I still need to work on it.

Afraid/Nervous,you are still somewhat hopeful & thinking you might have a shot...Intimidated,is more aggressive I think...makes it seem like you'd really have no shot with her,or in fact wouldn't want one...she'd be very stand-offish to any advance the man would make. Then again,what the heck do I know?

 

[Powemm]

No no no ms caitlynn, I believe god has put such strengths in us as females for a reason. .. it's actually a very good quality to have ..

 

[livingepistle]

Who got Eve's attention? Adam was right there? What was he doing at the time Eve went over to the tree she wasn't supposed to go over to, what was Eve thinking? I THINK Adam was not being a good listener Just sayin'...

I Respectfully Disagree

Eve was not subject to Adam's control. Concerning her personal freedoms, Eve was equal to Adam. She made her own decision to disobey God.

According to the Word as it is written in Genesis 3:16; To the woman he said, "I will make your pains in childbearing very severe; with painful labor you will give birth to children. Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you."

This chastisement did not happen until after she listened to another male figurehead that appealed to her desire for what was forbidden. She chose to listen to a different voice other than her husband's voice concerning what God had commanded her not to do. The other "male figurehead" convinced her that God, was a liar.

Adam should have done as Joseph when he ran away from Potiphar's wife--he should have run away as fast as possible. We might not ever know why he didn't but I certainly wished he had. This certainly was a time not to be the nice guy. LOL

So Eve did what Eve wanted to do. Adam had nothing to do with her disobedience. Notice, that being made subject to Adam was a punishment, she did not like it at all.

 

[Ariel82]

I think I disagree with this philosophy on 2 points.

You are assuming that there is a ONE.

I do believe God intends people to be ONE person for their entire life.

And that there is prophecy and divine mysticism involved in finding this person.

if you want to call it that. I view it more as praying and asking God if that person is meant for you in the first place before jumping in and handing them your heart.

women should never rely on hearing voices to decide who they should be with. Thats just superstitious and asking for trouble.

so you are saying that people should NOT pray about whom they should be with? or that God doesn't answer?

ok that is your opinion but God normally tells you things to look out in guys to show you that they aren't really His children or immature or likely to cheat on you. Praying about it makes sense to me, but then I tend to pray about everything.

And there is such as thing as seeing and being seen. I'm not talking about the sum of my soul or something, I just mean being understood for my heart.

that's what friends are for, marriages are more then that. It is the ability to live and compliment and understand and love the other person even though they have faults. it is knowing the person well enough to know when they are joking and when they are serious, when to pick on them and make them laugh and when to hug and comfort them because the world has torn them apart.

There are simply people that Understand me more than other people. There are people that I click with and that resonate with me. If I am romantically interested in them, I have much to lose by being rejected.

if you say so....

Because they understand me, I value what they think of me. Where as someone who doesn't and is simply into me for companionship, I have nothing to venture and nothing to lose, because its shallow.

if they understand you they may just want companionship... just because they reject a romantic relationship with you, doesn't mean they reject you as a person.

friendship/companionship should never be shallow. do you think Jesus friendship with His apostles shallow?

John "understood" Jesus. that deep agape love is a Christian gift.

I guess I don't understand the idea that there can be more than ONE person you are meant to marry. In the end its in God's hands and He plans your life if you but follow His plan. When you follow your own desires it tends to lead downhill fast.

 

[livingepistle]

I think I disagree with this philosophy on 2 points.

You are assuming that there is a ONE. And that there is prophecy and divine mysticism involved in finding this person.

women should never rely on hearing voices to decide who they should be with. Thats just superstitious and asking for trouble.

And there is such as thing as seeing and being seen. I'm not talking about the sum of my soul or something, I just mean being understood for my heart.

There are simply people that Understand me more than other people. There are people that I click with and that resonate with me. If I am romantically interested in them, I have much to lose by being rejected. Because they understand me, I value what they think of me. Where as someone who doesn't and is simply into me for companionship, I have nothing to venture and nothing to lose, because its shallow.

Wow, guns in the avatar. I know some Israeli women that might want to hook-up with you. They carry Uzi. LOL

 

[Umbra]

The reason women are often attracted to jerks is because they want a guy who is confident. Guys who are jerks often don't concern themselves with their own image, or they don't care about messing things up with the girl they go out with. It's very easy for these guys to be confident, because they just don't care.

The nice guys who have a hard time finding women often lack confidence. They aren't outgoing, and they aren't willing to take the same risks as other confident guys. They fear they might offend the girl or they want to make sure they don't mess up their own image. They play it too safe.

An overconfident jerk will often flirt with a bunch of women until he finds the one who's attracted to him. Believe it or not, he will be rejected by a lot of girls, but he'll also gain the attention of a lot of girls as well. They take a wreckless approach and find women who don't see, don't care about, or are attracted to that recklessness.

You can get girls without being a jerk. You just need to be confident. You need to have fun and open up a bit. Take some chances. Don't e afraid to be a little cheesy. Just read what T Laurich said, for the most part, he nailed it on the head.

Women like confidence, and many women mistake jerks to be confident, when really they just don't care.

 

[GreenNnice]

I Respectfully Disagree

Eve was not subject to Adam's control. Concerning her personal freedoms, Eve was equal to Adam. She made her own decision to disobey God.

According to the Word as it is written in Genesis 3:16; To the woman he said, "I will make your pains in childbearing very severe; with painful labor you will give birth to children. Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you."

This chastisement did not happen until after she listened to another male figurehead that appealed to her desire for what was forbidden. She chose to listen to a different voice other than her husband's voice concerning what God had commanded her not to do. The other "male figurehead" convinced her that God, was a liar.

Adam should have done as Joseph when he ran away from Potiphar's wife--he should have run away as fast as possible. We might not ever know why he didn't but I certainly wished he had. This certainly was a time not to be the nice guy. LOL

So Eve did what Eve wanted to do. Adam had nothing to do with her disobedience. Notice, that being made subject to Adam was a punishment, she did not like it at all.

Ok, disagree respectfully, the truth speaks for itself though, that's what we both have to listen to and Adam was with Eve when she ate of the fruit. God's hand of punishment did not come down until Adam ate the fruit, for he was the man of the house, so to speak. God did not ask the woman, first, what she had done? She asked the man? He was the one who sinned. Eve was deceived, transgressed, but it was Adam who 'sinned,' Scripture tells us. Look it up and I don't want to derail the thread, but there is a difference in the 'two.'

 

[lookwhatthelordhasdone]

Jerks are hot, end of story.

I mean, really think about it.

1.)Judd Nelson from The Breakfast Club: Hot.
2.)'Ice and Jay' from Hocus Pocus: 90's grunge hot
3.)Usher in that cool movie The Faculty where the teacher turns into an alien or something like that.: Totally a bad guy, but awesomely hot.

Even 'Tony Perkins' played by Ben Stiller in that movie, Heavyweights. He was kinda hot in that, "I've completely lost my marbles" way.
They were all the bad guy, but for some reason, we like em'. I guess it'll remain a mystery, like the 23 flavors of Dr. Pepper.

Go figure.

 

[BarlyGurl]

why are so many women attracted to jerks??...

So that the good guys can more easily spot the spectacular women who are actually available to THEM... being that we will not be mooning over the jerks and actually notice when you approach us... Excerpt from "lookin' at the bright side for dummies"-Barly Publishing 2013.

 

[Immawildthing]

By jerk I mean someone who is either arrogant, rude, conceited, prideful, abusive, manipulative, inconsiderate, selfish or any combination thereof.

because the jerks usually act like a perfect gentleman... And they trick a girl into believing they're the gentleman.
A gentleman will woo her with respect... A jerk will respect her to woo her.

 

[AAAPlus]

The reason women are often attracted to jerks is because they want a guy who is confident. Guys who are jerks often don't concern themselves with their own image, or they don't care about messing things up with the girl they go out with. It's very easy for these guys to be confident, because they just don't care.

The nice guys who have a hard time finding women often lack confidence. They aren't outgoing, and they aren't willing to take the same risks as other confident guys. They fear they might offend the girl or they want to make sure they don't mess up their own image. They play it too safe.

An overconfident jerk will often flirt with a bunch of women until he finds the one who's attracted to him. Believe it or not, he will be rejected by a lot of girls, but he'll also gain the attention of a lot of girls as well. They take a wreckless approach and find women who don't see, don't care about, or are attracted to that recklessness.

You can get girls without being a jerk. You just need to be confident. You need to have fun and open up a bit. Take some chances. Don't e afraid to be a little cheesy. Just read what T Laurich said, for the most part, he nailed it on the head.

Women like confidence, and many women mistake jerks to be confident, when really they just don't care.

+1

This pretty much sums it up.

While the jerk is out to get what he can get, the nice guy has standards. He won't go after just any girl out there, so when he does pursue interest in a certain girl, there is a lot more on the line. As Umbra said, it makes him too careful.

But hold on a sec...because, believe it or not, the "nice guy" is not at all the protagonist here. The "nice guy", as we call him, is playing a game of his own. He is being careful...meaning he is lying to the girl he is pursuing. He is changing his behavior and doing what he thinks will make the girl like him. Usually this makes him seem more like a doormat than a date, which is why we say that girls don't go for nice guys.

Instead of the "nice guy", a smart girl should be interested in the "real guy".