New Friend vs Best friend: Dating and Relationships

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Liamson

Liamson

Senior Member
#1
Feb 3, 2010
3,078
69
48
#1
I Think about the Differences between having a new friend and having a best friend.


With a new friend you are eager to explore each other's cool stuff and learn about who they are.

But a best friend is always there and wants to take on the world or the next thing.


Without really getting poetic and into all the differences between a new friend and a best friend, I feel like dating and relationships in the west are about the novelty of meeting someone new. When really if we are being honest we are looking for a best friend.

A new friend might seek to earn trust but, with new friends we still want to impress them and make them like us.

Best friends trust each other simply because it works. They know each other's scars and they keep each other's secrets as if they were their own.


So really we shouldn't be looking for a new relationship but, a Best Relationship.





Also thanks goes to Catlynn for much of this idea.
 
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BananaPie

Guest
#2
#2
Liamson said:
Best friends trust each other simply because it works. They know each other's scars and they keep each other's secrets as if they were their own.


So really we shouldn't be looking for a new relationship but, a Best Relationship.
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Good heavens, Liamson!! What wise remarks indeed!
May I add, the best relationship with one's best friend is when we both include Jesus Christ in ALL our thoughts and our conversations.

That's how we know we can trust each other because we KNOW Who is Lord & Master in each other's heart. Like sweet! :D
 
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BananaPie

Guest
#3
#3
Liamson, as for your cool Barbie-pink sign there, Richard came to mind...

hyacinth.jpg
 
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Duckies

Guest
#4
#4
Ive always shared the same sentiment, marrying your best friend in Christ is a great blessing when both are looking for that.

As said on OP, new friends are just a new impression the can insite curiosity and will to explore. Sadly the thrill for new adventure overclouds this feeling of knowing that your best friend is sometimes really your Best friend, even for those already married..leading to a lot of separations.

Good thread! God Bless and i hope many read it :)
 
C

christiancollegegirl

Guest
#5
#5
Liamson said:
I Think about the Differences between having a new friend and having a best friend.


With a new friend you are eager to explore each other's cool stuff and learn about who they are.

But a best friend is always there and wants to take on the world or the next thing.


Without really getting poetic and into all the differences between a new friend and a best friend, I feel like dating and relationships in the west are about the novelty of meeting someone new. When really if we are being honest we are looking for a best friend.

A new friend might seek to earn trust but, with new friends we still want to impress them and make them like us.

Best friends trust each other simply because it works. They know each other's scars and they keep each other's secrets as if they were their own.


So really we shouldn't be looking for a new relationship but, a Best Relationship.





Also thanks goes to Catlynn for much of this idea.
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Uh, what if you and your best friend are both girls?
 
M

MissCris

Guest
#6
#6
christiancollegegirl said:

Uh, what if you and your best friend are both girls?
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No matter how close you are with your best friend of the same gender, it's an entirely different kind of intimacy than what you have when you marry your best friend of the opposite gender.
 
Liamson

Liamson

Senior Member
#7
Feb 3, 2010
3,078
69
48
#7
christiancollegegirl said:

Uh, what if you and your best friend are both girls?
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Well, it stands to reason that IF you are going to fall in love and get married, it would be with a man.


But keep your best female friend too.



We humans need each other. We crave that community and that level of being known and connected.


But a Marriage is a Symbol of Christ's relationships with the Church. And if He is there for Us as a body of Believers through thick and thin and not just as an novelty, it will show it all of our relationships with each other too.
 
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christiancollegegirl

Guest
#8
#8
Yea, I almost married my guy best friend. Things didn't work out that way, but we're still best friends to this day.
 
maxwel

maxwel

Senior Member
#9
Apr 18, 2013
9,526
2,608
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#9
They say a dog is man's best friend.

I'm not feeling very good about this topic right now.

: )
 
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BananaPie

Guest
#10
#10
christiancollegegirl said:
Uh, what if you and your best friend are both girls?
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Well, then you can bless the Lord for granting you a buddy.

Let's just be very clear that should a sparkling diamond whatchamacallit be proposed, then that type of BEST FRIEND better be your BoyFriend... and I'm talking straight, godly, XY DNA BF. LOL
 
Liamson

Liamson

Senior Member
#11
Feb 3, 2010
3,078
69
48
#11
Another sort of curious aspect is that you have to sort of win over a new friend.


But do any of you ever remember "Winning over" a best friend? I don't. And we go through everything, fights, deaths in the family, celebrating each others success, etc.


Its like they are Family and its Natural. Why can't relationships work this way?
 
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BananaPie

Guest
#12
#12
maxwel said:
I'm not feeling very good about this topic right now.: )
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Cheer up, Maxwell, and look up to the open lovely sky where God dwells, for the Lord does all things beautiful in His time. Before you know it, the Lord may even provide you with one fine Prime Rib! :D
 
C

Catlynn

Guest
#13
#13
Liamson said:
Without really getting poetic and into all the differences between a new friend and a best friend, I feel like dating and relationships in the west are about the novelty of meeting someone new. When really if we are being honest we are looking for a best friend.
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I think that you should go into the differences between new friends and best friends. Christian singles often mention wanting to marry their best friend but I think being able to compare new friends with new dating relationships would be beneficial for many trying to figure out just why it is better to go for a best friend kind of relationship. It's not just about the comfort level but it's about the trust, confidence in their character and relationship with God, what they care about, their personality quirks...etc., I mean, why would you want to get into any sort of intimate relationship, let alone marry someone, without knowing any of those things about them?
 
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BananaPie

Guest
#14
#14
Liamson said:
...do any of you ever remember "Winning over" a best friend? I don't.
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I don't remember having the need to "win over" any friend.

As the saying goes, "a friend is someone who knows everything about you and likes you anyway."

And just to encourage our hearts, remember that the Lord Jesus said, "Greater love has no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends."

When we truly believe that Jesus actually loves us and we are able to love Jesus Christ back with all our heart, then our heart is expanded to love others, for the love of God has truly come to abide within us.

That's the type of relationship we ought to have with one's best friend, especially when such friend has, over time, become our favorite best friend with whom we'd share more happier thoughts and why not share the rest of life together, of course! The Lord is good and is here to bless us. :D
 
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richie_2uk

Guest
#15
#15
3oyhtk.jpg ..............................
 
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BananaPie

Guest
#16
#16
Richie, brother, do you need a friend? :chuckles: :D
 
error

error

Senior Member
#17
Oct 23, 2009
1,244
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#17
I just came home from my cousin's wedding.

Keep calm and marry your best friend.

This is an old a truth. And we all should stick to it.
 
error

error

Senior Member
#18
Oct 23, 2009
1,244
10
38
#18
Liamson said:
Well, it stands to reason that IF you are going to fall in love and get married, it would be with a man.


But keep your best female friend too.



We humans need each other. We crave that community and that level of being known and connected.


But a Marriage is a Symbol of Christ's relationships with the Church. And if He is there for Us as a body of Believers through thick and thin and not just as an novelty, it will show it all of our relationships with each other too.
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This is so true. I was just thinking about it today. Despite of loving freedom so much (I love having my own space and all that)-I hate that feeling that comes after going home when you had this really long, nice party (like wedding and etc.). Just being with ppl and having fun. And then there is this SILENCE when you are back home. I must admit I miss some of those feelings that are ''left'' at the parties. It's not the kind of sadness (that I experience after all that) to where you cry all the time, but it makes me sad a bit. Like something that I really miss. I can't explain it so well. Just being honest with you guys.
 
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error

error

Senior Member
#19
Oct 23, 2009
1,244
10
38
#19
error said:
I just came home from my cousin's wedding.

Keep calm and marry your best friend.

This is an old a truth. And we all should stick to it.
Click to expand...
Yea, sometimes I type like a monkey...
 
DuchessAimee

DuchessAimee

Senior Member
#20
Apr 27, 2011
3,922
129
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#20
When I look back at the boyfriends I've had, they've always been best friends first. I've gone on a few dates with guys who were friends, but not close ones. For me it just didn't work. I want to be at least moderately good friends before he and I go out on a date.

This reminds me a scene from Friends (I couldn't find the clip) where Rachel is freaking out about dating Ross. Rachel is scared because Ross is her best friend, she knows all of his flaws etc and says to Phoebe, "But it would be like starting out on the 15th date!" And Phoebe very calmly responds with, "Yeah, but it would be like starting out on the 15th date."


I like the idea of starting out a dating relationship that way. It means we've counted the cost and we're willing to pay it.
 
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