You sound like me five or tens years ago. As a child I saw fllowting dots of light circling in my room. I saw a demon in a mirror and it even spoke to me. The closer I came to knowing God the less paranormal activity I experienced. That pattern continued my whole life. The further away I got from God, the more I would see paranormal stuff around me. I even had psychic visions but could not control them.
I had an amazing experience as a 14 yr old. I was on fire for God. I loved going to church when ever the doors were open. I sat thru two services in the morning and an evening service plus youth group. Then one day at the second service, I felt very peaceful, so peaceful I did not want to get up at the end of the service. The altar was in the center of the church of a circular church.
Then I heard a voice on the inside of me. It was calm, peaceful and loving. It said "Do you see that woman?". Directly in front of me was a middle aged Hispanic woman, crying her eyes out, tears streaming down her face and praying in a desperate manner. Then after a five or ten second pause, the voice said "Her son is in prison" and again another pause. "I am going to help her and her son, because I love her" and again there was a pause. Then the voice said "I am going to help you, because I love you."
Well years later, I slowly cooled off spiritually and badly backslid until there was not faith in me. I even called myself an atheist, but one thing never changed, I had a curiosity for the occult and paranormal. I started to watch paranormal shows and stuff like it. My psychic abilities came back and soon I was able to control them. I met a psychic lady and told her I was psychic too and she asked "Oh, what color am I wearing?". "Blue" I said and we friends from then on. She encouraged me to join the same psychic network and make extra money, but I did not want to sell out. I wanted to help people.
The more I used my psychic ability the more haunted my home began. Soon my skeptic kids were full fledged believers as they saw ghosts, felt their presence and my son was touched by one. I began having nightmares now and then too. I also noticed that I hated Christians more and more. I went to my sisters home and she always had Christians friends over for the holidays. One man, I bristled at. I hated him more than the rest even though I knew nothing about him. I had a seething anger toward him and later on he would be my pastor.
I enjoyed helping people. Even more so, I enjoyed telling them things that they had long forgoten and the wide eyed look as their jaw hit the ground. I had a very vivid dream/nightmare of a jet fighter flying low and straight but at a slight downward angle. I saw pine trees and homes. I was driving in a car with others and as the fighter hit the ground, there was a violent explosion. I felt something shoot though the windshield like a bullet and then I saw the pilot all black with soot fall in front of the car. He had a look of horror on his face. 10 days later a Blue Angel crashed in South Carolina I watched CNN and it was exactly like me dream. One man was crying as they interviewed him and he said he almost died as something shot thru his windshield.
Then one day, everything spun out of control. I did a reading for a young mother. She would have horrid black spells and as she came out of them, she would see her very young daughter in a coffin. I did the reading and as always for first timers, I told her all about her past, even the name of her childhood dog. The second time I just focused on her daughter. In a psychic sense, I viewed her organs one by one and saw no disease. Then I looked at her as a whole and suddenly I saw a demon wave his hand at me as if to motion me away. I broke off the vision and tried again. This time I saw her baby had demons in her. I told the mom to go see a priest because she had a demonic problem.
That was the end of the joy ride. My friendly spirits became viscous, angry and threatening. Twice I was all but physically attacked. Every night, I was woken up at 3 am like clock work. Once I woke up at 3 am and felt such and evil presence, I left my home and stayed at an all nite diner.
My asked for help from my psychic friends and they all suggested pouring salt around all the windows and doors. burning a bundle of sage and put some rose oil around the windows. Nothing helped. I had uncontrollable visions of scary stuff. as I closed my eyes, I would see people staring back. It got so bad I wondered about suicide but figured they would be there to meet me in the after life. Once I heard a demon speak to me and told me his name. After 2 or 3 months I decided to take my own advice and see a priest.
I drove to a near by catholic church and as I drove into the parking lot, I heard a soft fluffy female voice say "Don't do it". I broke down and cried and felt even more determined to talk to the priest. I met with a young priest he asked what was up and as I described the problem he cut me off when I told him I was a psychic. He became very angry and yelled back at me, "Don't you know what you are doing? Don't you realize the source of your abilities? I can not help you unless you stop being a psychic. If you can't stop, leave right now. What is your decision?".
So I agreed to stop and man was that ever hard. I felt like a bird who just got his wings clipped. My psychic friends asked me not to take his advice but I refused. Then I was accused of not being able to take it. LOL, I can't argue there.
I eventually found my way to a protestant deliverance ministry. The helped me out a great deal and God has been healing my inner wounds. I am back on track with God...again! I had demons cast out of me and in the process i learned how to cast demons out of others. I now hear God again speaking to me now and then. Sometimes He even shows me things in the bible.
