J
In my mind's eye I see the man I would like to share my life with. The man I want. But is he the man I NEED? Is he the man who is God's best for me? Seems to me that my "want" list is what causes me to become interested in a guy, but it is my "need" list that will ultimately determine whether or not that relationship works out. It is only today that God has shown me what that need list looks like.
I like intelligent guys with a great sense of humor. It gets my attention. If they love music, I'm even more interested.
BUT...
Looking back on past relationships, these are the things that ultimately determined whether it was going to work or not:
- What is he doing in this life to make a difference?
- I am a very strong woman, but there are times when I need someone to lean on. I need to know that he is going to REALLY be there for me, not just SAY it. I need to know that he has my back (and vice versa).
- If I look past the laughter and romance, what will I see? What makes him tick? Is there any depth in there or is what I'm looking at all there is?
I was watching a movie this morning while I was getting dressed. The guy speaking in the movie was a self-confessed jerk who was having an honest conversation with his adult son. He said something like this, "Your mother tried to look past what she saw to the man inside of me. Unfortunately, she found that man in someone else instead because what you are looking at is all there is of me."
This spoke to me. I don't want to have to reach in and drag who a guy truly is out of him. I want to catch glimpses of it in moments along the way. I want at least some transparency. I want intimate connection. If not, I'll keep looking for the guy who is making a difference/I can lean on/has actual depth, not just a few flowery words now and again. That's the guy I NEED in my life.
What about you? Are there any differences between what you think you want and what you actually might NEED?
I like intelligent guys with a great sense of humor. It gets my attention. If they love music, I'm even more interested.
BUT...
Looking back on past relationships, these are the things that ultimately determined whether it was going to work or not:
- What is he doing in this life to make a difference?
- I am a very strong woman, but there are times when I need someone to lean on. I need to know that he is going to REALLY be there for me, not just SAY it. I need to know that he has my back (and vice versa).
- If I look past the laughter and romance, what will I see? What makes him tick? Is there any depth in there or is what I'm looking at all there is?
I was watching a movie this morning while I was getting dressed. The guy speaking in the movie was a self-confessed jerk who was having an honest conversation with his adult son. He said something like this, "Your mother tried to look past what she saw to the man inside of me. Unfortunately, she found that man in someone else instead because what you are looking at is all there is of me."
This spoke to me. I don't want to have to reach in and drag who a guy truly is out of him. I want to catch glimpses of it in moments along the way. I want at least some transparency. I want intimate connection. If not, I'll keep looking for the guy who is making a difference/I can lean on/has actual depth, not just a few flowery words now and again. That's the guy I NEED in my life.
What about you? Are there any differences between what you think you want and what you actually might NEED?