S
Yep.
It'll make me hugely unpopular with some, and secretly the new prom king with others.
I'm not one to care, so in case no one did this during my brief absence* from CC, I'm calling you out. Quite Publicly.
Blain. You are a nice guy with good intentions. Good intentions get people killed.
THIS IS NOT A THREAT (post 9/11 disclaimer. They're obligatory these days.)
This is however, me wanting to point out that whether anyone will publicly admit it or not, some things hold true. I know that it is longer than an explanation of 6-point Calvinisim slurred by a drinker of 3-point-2 beer, but I implore you to read it all the same. Then you can tell me what a jerk I am and be justified merely because I made you read something ridiculously long.
Anyway, we hold these truths to be... errrr listed below, if they do not seem self evident I might provide further explanations, maybe:
1) If you start prompting people to compliment others, the vast majority of society will feel pressure to say something to nice - whether or not they follow through AND whether or not they even like the person. Yes, they can feel pressured even if they like the bloke. {hey now, no second guessing...I meant what I said on people's threads.}
2) Putting people in that position is Unimaginably Rude. Even if you are genuinely so sweet to not realize what a jerk it takes to do that.
3) Some people when pressured will admit to nice things they are not ready to say or comfortable with saying.
4) See #2.
5) Some people Do Not take compliments well. A little bit of easing someone into the hot tub of taking a compliment is nice, if properly done. You never Throw someone into a hot tub. Some people have to acclimate to the warm water slower than others. Some people have apprehensions about hot tubs in general. Some have apprehensions about your intentions when you put them in a hot tub. Some folks have baggage and are deathly afraid of the water and will give you a mean right hook for suggesting that they put their toes in the water. (It's a metaphor people, no one is punching Blain, and there is no hot tub, so for the sake of all concerned, Please go change out of that swim suit... some of you are causing others to lust and/or retch.) But to get back on track, Some people Do Not take compliments well. Public compliments are in fact the worst thing you can inflict on some people. I genuinely recommend that before you and a tv crew show up at someone's house to tell them how nice they are, how pretty they are, or how they cut their grass so well... do your homework and figure out what is going to go over well and what will be like unto a lead dirigible (no Jimmy Page reference here!).
6) See #2.
7) Being uplifted is swell. We all need it from time to time. Some people here have self worth issues and need a little less uplifting than what they are getting...If you've chosen to widen the doorways at home to get your big head through, I'm talking about you, though not to you. Other people have self worth issues and need more uplifting than what they are getting. People of the second type typically will look upon something so public as Blain's threads to be painful, and may even view them as some kind of fake conspiracy.
8) see #4
9) Publicly posting how much someone is spiffy is a spiffy way to extract a whole lot of Personal out of the compliments, thus degrading their value. Person A may have the most exact perfect thing to say to person B. A says it publicly and therefor either now must couch it in a more public way, removing some of the value. Alternately, but not exclusive to the prior, Person A now says something publicly that if said in a more personal and intimate [even if that is a platonic intimacy, like the Philia (φιλία philía) love] setting would have meant more to the recipient. (What? the value of our words can be effected by their setting? You bet. now draw your own conclusions about this being a public post instead of a PM. I'll not commit to your opinions. Don't ask.) A third option on that, again not necessarily exclusive of the other two is that the words of Person A to Person B will now be lacking in value based on the fact that they are well known to others. The "power of secret" is removed.
10) See #8
11) Someone is going to get left out and not like that. Especially in a group the size of CC. People come and go, join and quit all the time. Someone is going to come along with an "ooooh now do me" post (ahem, remember that in the matchmaker thread?) and not be known enough for us to be able to say more than, Uh... they always use their punctuation marks appropriately?!?.;:,."'({[]}) (just making sure I'm not that guy, lol) That leaves both the regulars and the lesser known party (the irregular?) both in an awkward position
12) This is an even number, by now you should know that someone is being a jerk even if they don't mean to.
13) Blain seems to be an actual nice guy. I've even had someone very legit vouch for him. I believe he not only did not mean to be a King James version of a donkey, but that he had no idea what a stupendous job he did of it. I think he owes no one an appology.
14) Calling someone out like this is Unimaginably Rude. I am not so genuinely so sweet to not realize what a jerk it takes to do this. I do feel like there was a lesson to be learned in here for All readers. Different lessons for different readers, sure. It may even be a matter of everyone learning that I can be a big meanie. My motivations for posting this are my own, and I felt strongly enough about it to say it all publicly. Some of you may now loathe me to the point of it being sinful, or may feel I am misguided or speaking out of a place of pain, or just feel like I need more Jesus and pray for me. Some of you may now be electing me to the position of Secret Prom King. Either case, I am not one to care. I tend my own shop as I best see fit. I try to do better daily. In the end, its the internet, people. The image you get of someone based on what they do or say on the net Is Very One Sided, and perhaps untrue. Whatever we are like here, we need to do our best There (points out to the real world). Lets all take a deep collective breath and happily move forward from here, both online and IRL. There is likely not a reason to reply to this thread, leastwise none I can see at this time.
15) See #13
now I'm gonna read some threads and see what yall's been up to.
*I've not read a single post or thread since waking up this morning. I've not been on CC in a great many hours. Someone may have beat me to this, and if so, I now look like a Royal jerk... in which case I will flippantly say I have the blood of nobility. Which is of course a lie, as best I know. But the nitty grit is I felt strongly enough about this to post it, AND that I still think Blain is a nice guy, but terribly young and naive. (Which probably only proves that I am old and jaded beyond my years.)
(....or that I watch too much 'House.')
It'll make me hugely unpopular with some, and secretly the new prom king with others.
I'm not one to care, so in case no one did this during my brief absence* from CC, I'm calling you out. Quite Publicly.
Blain. You are a nice guy with good intentions. Good intentions get people killed.
THIS IS NOT A THREAT (post 9/11 disclaimer. They're obligatory these days.)
This is however, me wanting to point out that whether anyone will publicly admit it or not, some things hold true. I know that it is longer than an explanation of 6-point Calvinisim slurred by a drinker of 3-point-2 beer, but I implore you to read it all the same. Then you can tell me what a jerk I am and be justified merely because I made you read something ridiculously long.
Anyway, we hold these truths to be... errrr listed below, if they do not seem self evident I might provide further explanations, maybe:
1) If you start prompting people to compliment others, the vast majority of society will feel pressure to say something to nice - whether or not they follow through AND whether or not they even like the person. Yes, they can feel pressured even if they like the bloke. {hey now, no second guessing...I meant what I said on people's threads.}
2) Putting people in that position is Unimaginably Rude. Even if you are genuinely so sweet to not realize what a jerk it takes to do that.
3) Some people when pressured will admit to nice things they are not ready to say or comfortable with saying.
4) See #2.
5) Some people Do Not take compliments well. A little bit of easing someone into the hot tub of taking a compliment is nice, if properly done. You never Throw someone into a hot tub. Some people have to acclimate to the warm water slower than others. Some people have apprehensions about hot tubs in general. Some have apprehensions about your intentions when you put them in a hot tub. Some folks have baggage and are deathly afraid of the water and will give you a mean right hook for suggesting that they put their toes in the water. (It's a metaphor people, no one is punching Blain, and there is no hot tub, so for the sake of all concerned, Please go change out of that swim suit... some of you are causing others to lust and/or retch.) But to get back on track, Some people Do Not take compliments well. Public compliments are in fact the worst thing you can inflict on some people. I genuinely recommend that before you and a tv crew show up at someone's house to tell them how nice they are, how pretty they are, or how they cut their grass so well... do your homework and figure out what is going to go over well and what will be like unto a lead dirigible (no Jimmy Page reference here!).
6) See #2.
7) Being uplifted is swell. We all need it from time to time. Some people here have self worth issues and need a little less uplifting than what they are getting...If you've chosen to widen the doorways at home to get your big head through, I'm talking about you, though not to you. Other people have self worth issues and need more uplifting than what they are getting. People of the second type typically will look upon something so public as Blain's threads to be painful, and may even view them as some kind of fake conspiracy.
8) see #4
9) Publicly posting how much someone is spiffy is a spiffy way to extract a whole lot of Personal out of the compliments, thus degrading their value. Person A may have the most exact perfect thing to say to person B. A says it publicly and therefor either now must couch it in a more public way, removing some of the value. Alternately, but not exclusive to the prior, Person A now says something publicly that if said in a more personal and intimate [even if that is a platonic intimacy, like the Philia (φιλία philía) love] setting would have meant more to the recipient. (What? the value of our words can be effected by their setting? You bet. now draw your own conclusions about this being a public post instead of a PM. I'll not commit to your opinions. Don't ask.) A third option on that, again not necessarily exclusive of the other two is that the words of Person A to Person B will now be lacking in value based on the fact that they are well known to others. The "power of secret" is removed.
10) See #8
11) Someone is going to get left out and not like that. Especially in a group the size of CC. People come and go, join and quit all the time. Someone is going to come along with an "ooooh now do me" post (ahem, remember that in the matchmaker thread?) and not be known enough for us to be able to say more than, Uh... they always use their punctuation marks appropriately?!?.;:,."'({[]}) (just making sure I'm not that guy, lol) That leaves both the regulars and the lesser known party (the irregular?) both in an awkward position
12) This is an even number, by now you should know that someone is being a jerk even if they don't mean to.
13) Blain seems to be an actual nice guy. I've even had someone very legit vouch for him. I believe he not only did not mean to be a King James version of a donkey, but that he had no idea what a stupendous job he did of it. I think he owes no one an appology.
14) Calling someone out like this is Unimaginably Rude. I am not so genuinely so sweet to not realize what a jerk it takes to do this. I do feel like there was a lesson to be learned in here for All readers. Different lessons for different readers, sure. It may even be a matter of everyone learning that I can be a big meanie. My motivations for posting this are my own, and I felt strongly enough about it to say it all publicly. Some of you may now loathe me to the point of it being sinful, or may feel I am misguided or speaking out of a place of pain, or just feel like I need more Jesus and pray for me. Some of you may now be electing me to the position of Secret Prom King. Either case, I am not one to care. I tend my own shop as I best see fit. I try to do better daily. In the end, its the internet, people. The image you get of someone based on what they do or say on the net Is Very One Sided, and perhaps untrue. Whatever we are like here, we need to do our best There (points out to the real world). Lets all take a deep collective breath and happily move forward from here, both online and IRL. There is likely not a reason to reply to this thread, leastwise none I can see at this time.
15) See #13
now I'm gonna read some threads and see what yall's been up to.
*I've not read a single post or thread since waking up this morning. I've not been on CC in a great many hours. Someone may have beat me to this, and if so, I now look like a Royal jerk... in which case I will flippantly say I have the blood of nobility. Which is of course a lie, as best I know. But the nitty grit is I felt strongly enough about this to post it, AND that I still think Blain is a nice guy, but terribly young and naive. (Which probably only proves that I am old and jaded beyond my years.)
(....or that I watch too much 'House.')
Yikes.
