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Please help me. I am hurting, confused, distressed and losing faith. I am a PTSD sufferer and though I have had some very intense therapies from well experienced and respected experts, including the military I am still no better. I fear this thing is getting the better of me and after years of being strong in faith and holding my own against it, I feel I can cope no longer.
I tried to get help from Church but instead was hurt further and sent into a spiral of despair. They tried laying hands on me (though I never asked them to) and said I was oppressed by spirits. Not understanding and fearing it was true, I let them but nothing happened. They said I lacked faith and because they had prayed in faith, expected me to breeze into Church today. I did not. I could not. I was such a mess, like a rabbit frozen in the headlights. The pressure I felt to conform sent me into a spiral of confusion hurt and despair. Flashbacks continually, hyper awareness and feeling like danger is imminent constantly. Every little noise compounded causing me to jolt and jump like a frightened kitten. I am so confused right now and so exhausted. I just want to sleep. I cant sleep. I feel all "unhinged".
I am a strong person with a strong faith but this recent episode has shattered me. I feel I cannot cope much longer. God seems so far away and I have so much anger in my heart. I am afraid I am sinning against Him. I love Jesus so much and He has kept me strong through it all... but I am so weak and so confused. My mind is a battlefield and my nerves all jangled constantly.
Please pray for me. I fear I am losing my mind.
I tried to get help from Church but instead was hurt further and sent into a spiral of despair. They tried laying hands on me (though I never asked them to) and said I was oppressed by spirits. Not understanding and fearing it was true, I let them but nothing happened. They said I lacked faith and because they had prayed in faith, expected me to breeze into Church today. I did not. I could not. I was such a mess, like a rabbit frozen in the headlights. The pressure I felt to conform sent me into a spiral of confusion hurt and despair. Flashbacks continually, hyper awareness and feeling like danger is imminent constantly. Every little noise compounded causing me to jolt and jump like a frightened kitten. I am so confused right now and so exhausted. I just want to sleep. I cant sleep. I feel all "unhinged".
I am a strong person with a strong faith but this recent episode has shattered me. I feel I cannot cope much longer. God seems so far away and I have so much anger in my heart. I am afraid I am sinning against Him. I love Jesus so much and He has kept me strong through it all... but I am so weak and so confused. My mind is a battlefield and my nerves all jangled constantly.
Please pray for me. I fear I am losing my mind.
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