I want a relationship with God, but some things are holding me back...

[JoyAV]

Hello, everyone.

For years now, I've gone down a pretty bad road for myself in my life. I was homeless for one year and later on had resorted to being a dancer at strip clubs. I was an alcoholic. I had also and still from time to time struggle with depression, something I've fought with ever since I was a little kid. Now, I am not trying to raise a pity party. That is not my intention of putting my business out there. I just feel like I want to be true with where I came from to where I am at now and I have come so far.
Whenever I start going to church and/or bible studies to get the ball rolling in my relationship with God, I feel judged by other Christians especially my mother, who is also a Christian. Maybe, I've been going to the wrong churches or bible study groups or maybe I also need to learn how to receive constructive criticism. Being currently 5 months pregnant as well has truly pushed me more towards these changes within myself. I need to be a better person for myself and more importantly for my daughter.
I would love to hear from you guys, but of course, please no negative comments. I am just in desperate need of guidance. I want to change, it's just hard knowing the kind of person I am and what I have done in my past.

 

[hattiebod]

Are you saved???? this is the vital and only question that is relevant. God Bless you as you seek the truth, <><

 

[JoyAV]

I am not saved yet. I do believe and want a relationship. I just don't really know how to go about it. I don't want to force myself to change drastically right away. I want my changes to be natural and to come from conviction within myself. I hope that makes sense.

 

[hattiebod]

God Bless you, in your humble reply. Dear daughter of the King. He is calling you, you are scared...but thats ok! you fear loosing friends, the uncertainty of it all. You are being called to Him, that is why you are here....relax, He knows you!! created you. Just be still. If you seek a relationship with Jesus Christ, he will answer, open the door...you will change, you will grow as you love Him. Do not be frightened. What is more natural than the God that created you? amazing huh?? WOW!! you will be convicted and drawn but remember ....not by you? by Him. All is done at the cross. God bless you, most loved, precious, beautiful and talented daughter of the King!! <><

 

[JoyAV]

Thank you so much for your kind words. Your reply has definitely made a difference and I hope to find more caring Christians like you along the way. God bless you too.

 

[RedTent]

You are saved through the word. That word "word" has a spiritual meaning as well as what fleshly minds see in it, but the power is also in the written words of the bible. When you keep putting these words inside you by going over them, the power of them becomes one with you. You will know what I am talking about when it happens to you.

There are true Christians out there who can help you. You can recognize them by their ability to love. They can also be pretty tough about any sin, but not about their love for you. When the Lord came to me, I didn't look for them, but still I had a Christian Aunt. I didn't ask her enough questions or explain to her how she was helping, wish I had. You can usually recognize a Christian who is close to God by their ability to love, but don't get their stance against sin as a sign of not loving. You can usually actually see it in their eyes and smile.

After you become Christian, it will lead you to good living, but remember God still lets you choose what you do to follow Him. Living in God's Kingdom will take doing as a result of faith and believing, but there is joy in it then, not being deprived of something.

There are powerful words in the Sermon on the Mount, Matt 5 to 7, and in the Lord's Prayer. The Lord's Prayer can simply be said, but it is all about God in a few words, and when you think it, feel it, live it, then it leads to God.

 

[hattiebod]

Thank you so much for your kind words. Your reply has definitely made a difference and I hope to find more caring Christians like you along the way. God bless you too.

What matters is your life.
Please, ask Him into your life...you are way to precious to be wasted...do you want to give your life to Christ? do you repent? and know, through His death on the cross, that you are forgiven? His life given for you? do you accept it? <><

 

[prodigal]

dear father, i pray for my sister Joyav, that you lead her and protect her as she comes into a relationship with you. Protect her and her baby by your spirit. Let caring christians be around her that do not judge her but encourage her as she needs. Father you know our hearts, and you know all our needs, supply the support my sister needs at this time. Fill her with your spirit, give her peace of mind and joy in her heart. In Jesus name i ask this. amen

 

[secularhermit]

@Joy AV

I like what wrote. U said: "please no negative comments." Perhaps some words may hurt you, but for an ultimate healing.

1) Many insist on that spiritual relationship with God (I haven't found it) but I know it is spiritual and, in the Bible, it says HE WILL COME IF U INVITE HIM TO COME, within you (I've done it, and it works).
2) That spiritual journey begins WITHIN YOU. As I saw, I guess you haven't forgiven yourself from mistakes and sins. Are you plannig to heal that PAINFUL area within yourself? Anything U have done, can be forgiven, (unless U have spoken so badly against the Holy Spirit) Cheer up! There is hope!
3) Find out a day to move and live alone. I own my own house and seldom come to my mother. She is not an easy going person, but I come to Caracas for ELECTRICITY, so I can use my PC or to do some jobs as a PC Tech... I don't like my mother's rule or saying but, as long as I dwel UNDER HER ROOF, I'm obliged to respect her. Do you plan to "change" your mother's ways? or planning your change of mind, instead? (Just to think both! You and I. But I don't plan to stay near her, any longer) That's her house! (and my house has no toilet, no services except pure water)

 

[secularhermit]

@JoyAV

Salvation? It will come if you draw near HIM. He will do that if you follow and believe in HIM. The relationship is based in your following and believing. Allow me to give U my example:
Will I was at my mother's, I heard Elisha's voice. He is my second son and I was surprised, because he lives 100 km far away. I wanted to be sure and I stopped all the noise than could be disturbing to be sure HE WAS OUT THERE...
Within some minutes, I was sure HE WASN'T OUT THERE, in the street.
After an hour, my daughter (Joy) called to tell me he was going there and, probably reaching my area... What does this serve for? I haven't met Elisha, but my daughter told me he came to Caracas. He is somewhere OUT THERE, but I haven't met him yet, same way God, but THERE IS AN SPIRITUAL CONNECTION. One I cannot explain nor tell about, that SOMETIMES supernatural things happens, telling you things that ARE GOING TO HAPPEN and you are saved and CAN TELL OTHERS TO BE SAVED.

I hope this true story serves you to understand the SPIRITUAL RELATIONSHIP Chritians have with God. I haven't seen my son, but there is an spiritual reason that tells me he is out there, same way God wants you to be HIS prodigal daughter... Allow us to know about THAT DAY. Please! I beg HIM you to come, little JOY.

 

[colalella2891]

Sounds like you get judged a lot by other people... It sucks the way some people are.

First of all, even though you've been on a rough road for a while, God still loved you through it all, and He still loves you. I can't emphasize this enough, because i've met people who think just because they've made mistakes that they can't be loved by God. So untrue. I can't stand when people judge other people, especially when it's christians doing the judging. Nobody is better than anybody else, especially when it comes to sin. God loves all of us, no matter what we do.

Don't let anything hold you back from your relationship with God. Ask Him where to go when it comes to churches/bible groups. Ask Him for wisdom on the subject. Trust Him to lead you to the right people. Not everyone is so judgmental.

I'm not sure what to say about you mom though... I don't know the exact circumstances, but she should be by your side through all this. Just my opinion.

I'll be praying for ya.

 

[Godrocker15]

In a way, I myself been in your foot steps. I was born in a christian family. Once I hit 18 I started smoking and drinking alcohol. I was addicted to both of these things for 6 years. I knew God existed but I wasn't so sure of what I wanted. I was deppressed most of the time and whenever I tried getting close to God I felt guilty.

One day I decided to tell God to give me a wake up call. I was tried of the way I was living. All the things I did and my decitions (that I thought were right) were big mistakes. I was going into a deeper whole and all I wanted to do at the end was die.

Three days past and I was doing what I usually do. I go out of to the front porch, lit a cig, and have the bottle right next to me. Out of nowhere my heartbeat started beating at an unusual rate. I know something was wrong. Never in my life have I felt that way before. I felt as if death was around the corner. I couldn't believe that was it. Everything I worked for was for nothing. I soon got rushed to the hospital. When I got there only one doctor was available. He was in the surgery room attending an old lady who got a heart attack. I wasn't sure what was going on. I was too concerned about myself. The only thing that was running through my mind was if I was going to live.

Soon after the doctor goes towards the room where the family was. I just heard them crying and then I knew he had told them the bad news. She ended up passing away. I was still sitting there in the wheelchair trying to calm myself. I over heard the daughter talking on the phone. She was saying that she was totally fine. They were at church and out of nowhere she had a heart attack. Right there and then I realized how stupid I was. Everyday I was living my life as if I had enternity to live it.

Since then, I gave my life to Christ. I thought the same thing as you. I want to give my life whenever I do feel is right. One of the things that was preventing me from changing was my old habits. There were many things that this "flesh" didn't want to leave. It doesn't want to change. Slowly and slowly I started getting rid of all the bad things in my life. As soon as I did things started changing in my life. Faith without action is dead.

Developing a relationship with God is like a relationship you have with someone. The more you communicate with Him, the stronger your bond will be. People will always critisize you no matter what church you go to. Remember that they are no one to judge you. The only one who will is God. The real reason a person should go to church is to worship the Lord and get fed with the Word. Nothing else matters.

I'll be praying for you my dear friend. Surrender yourself to Him. Confess everything. He will forgive you and He will never leave you alone. The past can sometimes haunt us and can be the reason why we don't want to give our life to God beucase of the things we've done. But Jesus is there with open arms waiting for you to completey open your heart to Him. Once you do that, things will start changing in your life just like they have with me.

If you ever need anything, He's there for you and so are we

 

[Kisses1990]

Is dancing actually wrong? It's a really neat art form. It's legal, it doesn't break any laws. It's most certainly NOT prostitution.... I can't really see whats wrong with that. But being around bad people and the drinking could be bad if it gets out of hand.

 

[Dine_wit_Me]

Joy darling,


All have sinned and come short of God's glory...Remember the woman that was thrown at Jesus feet by the men of her village because she was prostituting herself...if u read...u see that God wrote the sins of all of her accusers in the dust....when she finally opened her eyes from crying and being shamed...looked around...all were gone...Jesus asked her where is her accusers...and said..neither do u condemn thee..go and sin no more....God says, the first shall b last and the last shall b first...hun our churches r hospitals for the sinfully sick is why we go seeking a better life than what we have...seeking wisdom...support from our fellow members...open the word of God...u know when we repent and turn away from our sins...God says, He (meaning people) who comes to me with a contrite heart..I will in no wise cast out....here r 2 wonderful websites to help u get on a good footing...Amazing Facts by Pastor Doug Batchlor and The Hope Channel..here u will find bible studies..sermons..and wonderful Godly advice...b well, b safe...b blessed....Remember also..like Peter when he took his eyes of of Jesus as he was walking on the water..he sunk...same with us..so don't compare urself with no one on this earth..God is our only example to follow..

 

[Dine_wit_Me]

oops..neither do I condemn thee.

 

[prodigaldaughter]

You have accepted Jesus and confessed that He is Lord?

You believe that He died and was raised from the dead?

You have repented from your old Life?

You believe that He died to pay the price for our sins? (Isaiah 53)

You are a new creation in Christ?

There is no condemnation in Jesus Christ. When we submit to God and ask for His forgiveness He remembers our sins no more. Those who do not believe you well do not worry about them. I have the same problem in fact there were times when I would sing praises and I have neighbours telling me that I lie. I have family members calling me a liar they don't think that my faith is real, but then God moves His mighty hand in my life and I testify of His greatness of His favour upon me. When I am asked how come I reply "It's God who is doing this! Not me!"

In time people will see evidence of God moving in your life. Build strong relationships with other Christians. You have told your testimony. I cannot say if you are in the wrong church or not. I am not sure how long you have been attending church or what their doctrines are my advice is to talk to the pastor and find out what ministry you can part take in, in other words be active in church activities. Transformation is continuous. I remember one of the things I use to do I was vocally react to negatives thrown my way, now I cannot remember the last time I have done that. People judge you because they themselves have issues to deal with as well as it is the Devil who condemns us he wants to remind you of your past. Rebuke the devil and remind him of his future in that lake of fire. Concentrate on your relationship with God. You are taking the right steps. Right now I am recommitting myself to my calling I have been preparing for my baptism. As long as you know you are sincere and you believe and accepted you are SAVED! You must now go through the process of allowing God to work on you. You truly become a new creation in Christ it is as if you went into a store and exchanged your old self for a new self.

Cover yourself with the Blood of Jesus. Sprinkle the blood on every aspect of your life. Ask God to protect and shield you from your past, preserve and keep you in Christ in your present and to guide your steps into the future He has for you. Hand it over all to Him. You won't regret it.

I have included a few scripture verses. Read also the book of Proverbs a lot of wisdom on how to handle people etc.

Ephesians 2:8 For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—

Romans 10:9 If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.

Romans 8:24 For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have?

Romans 10:10 For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved.

Ephesians 2:8 For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—

Matthew 26:28 This is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins.

Ephesians 1:7 In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace

Isaiah 43:25 “I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more.

Isaiah 44:22 I have swept away your offenses like a cloud, your sins like the morning mist. Return to me, for I have redeemed you.”

Isaiah 1:18 “Come now, let us settle the matter,” says the Lord. “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool.

Romans 8:1 Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus,

 

[kaytyndy]

joyav, the lord knows you better than anyone.....it doesn't matter where you are coming from, what i know is that the fact that you can look back and not be proud of all that means the lord has started working. all you have to do, create time everyday to pray and read the word. you don't have to do it as a routine but find space for the Bible. gradually, the lord will pull you to him self. PRAY for those who surround you and make peace with even the ones who criticize you. you and your expected baby were made through Christ, in Him and for Him so be strong and dont give up. i will put you in prayer

 

[shawntc]

2 Corinthians 5:17 says, "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!"

Before we accept Jesus we are spiritually dead, because we walk in the path of sin. As a born-again Christian I know what that is like. But when we do let Jesus be our Lord and Savior, our spirits come alive. We walk in the path of righteousness. We literally become a new creation. It's not immediately visible on the outside, but by getting into the Bible, praying, turning away from our sins, worshiping, getting baptized, and having fellowship with other believers, the Holy Spirit begins to change us. By the power of the Holy Spirit, given to you by God, you are able to become different from what you may have been in the past.

Your changes may not be drastic and immediate. There have been reports of people steeped in addictions accepting Jesus then the next day being clean of all addictions, but that's not the norm. It's more likely that God will work with you, gradually, "naturally" as you might say.

Insofar as feeling judged at church, I do recommend finding a good church. Talk to the pastor before or after service. Tell him about where you're coming from and how you feel judged by others in the church. Perhaps he could help.

 

[secularhermit]

@prodigaldaughter May I ask about this: "Right now I am recommitting myself to my calling I have been preparing for my baptism.?"

 

[creationist74]

Hello, everyone.

For years now, I've gone down a pretty bad road for myself in my life. I was homeless for one year and later on had resorted to being a dancer at strip clubs. I was an alcoholic. I had also and still from time to time struggle with depression, something I've fought with ever since I was a little kid. Now, I am not trying to raise a pity party. That is not my intention of putting my business out there. I just feel like I want to be true with where I came from to where I am at now and I have come so far.
Whenever I start going to church and/or bible studies to get the ball rolling in my relationship with God, I feel judged by other Christians especially my mother, who is also a Christian. Maybe, I've been going to the wrong churches or bible study groups or maybe I also need to learn how to receive constructive criticism. Being currently 5 months pregnant as well has truly pushed me more towards these changes within myself. I need to be a better person for myself and more importantly for my daughter.
I would love to hear from you guys, but of course, please no negative comments. I am just in desperate need of guidance. I want to change, it's just hard knowing the kind of person I am and what I have done in my past.

I will give you a song for you.

[video=youtube;ivesRYcIPsQ]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ivesRYcIPsQ[/video]

I hope you will enjoy.