homosexual tendancies!

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VictagaNOC94

Guest
#1
#1
Ok...When I was like 3 I started feeling attracted to other girls. And When I was ten was when I realized what that meant! For the longest time I liked both guys and girls, but as I headed into my teen years my interest and TRUST in men has slowly vanished! I am now 18 and just cannot seem to find myself interested in a relationship with a guy. Even the guys I can tell are hot...I just do not react to them physically! (even the stars I've obsessed over for the past five years has turned from crushes to mere admiration of their talents.) I've been trying the last month to force my interests on guys using as many means possible...porn involving nice looking guys, trying hard to make my body react to the guys at my church, trying to have romantic fantasies about guys....but it just does not work! I always end up noticing a girl that does make my body react! I hold strong to Romans 8 37-39 for comfort, I do not want my body to cause me to lose out on God and what he has for me! I was wondering if anyone else on here is struggling with the same thing! This is a bit personal yeah....but I need some friends that are going through similar situations or at least have gone through it! Maybe ideas on how I can gain a physical and emotional interest in guys! I know what the bible says...i'VE PRAYED...I'm trying....but failing! Does not help I suppose that I'm hoplessly inlove with my female best friend! I just need HELP!!!
 
JesusChica1991

JesusChica1991

Banned
#2
May 9, 2012
1,514
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#2
Awwww :( baby girl, I know what you're going through. I've been there myself when I was your age if not younger. I am definitely going to pray for you. I know it's hard.
 
secularhermit

secularhermit

Banned
#3
May 3, 2013
8,719
75
0
#3
I don´t know who U really are and don´t know ur truth (but you). There is a "normal" curiosity, at several stages and ages. I had a friend and brother in the church having problems like those U mentioned and he told me not to hug him, because he avoided such problem he had (and I knew nothing, except that day).
Believe me, young lady, there nothing better than loving and hugging the oposite sex. Your mind and hormones are playing with your drives and don´t consider yourselve unworthy nor ugly: You´ll find the man you deserve.
 
Mo0448

Mo0448

Senior Member
#4
Jun 10, 2013
1,209
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#4
Hello VictagaNOC94, I cannot claim to have struggled with a similar matter in any way but you brought up a point that has not been addressed yet and I was curious as I feel it may allow others to better understand and help your situation. You mentioned: "but as I headed into my teen years my interest and TRUST in men has slowly vanished!" my question is why did you interest and trust (I assume trust is important since it was capitalized) why did it vanish did something happen involving a male that made you lose trust in men all together? Knowing this may help understand the reasons why. Hope I can help in any way possible and I will be praying. Feel free to message me anytime you need prayer. That goes for anyone and everyone too!

God Bless!
 
J

Jesus1234

Banned
#5
Jun 12, 2013
1
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#5
**edited**
 
Last edited by a moderator:
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Dalisa

Guest
#6
#6
I don't know what to say, except that I believe it's very difficult for you. I will pray for you.
 
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VictagaNOC94

Guest
#7
#7
Mo0448 said:
Hello VictagaNOC94, I cannot claim to have struggled with a similar matter in any way but you brought up a point that has not been addressed yet and I was curious as I feel it may allow others to better understand and help your situation. You mentioned: "but as I headed into my teen years my interest and TRUST in men has slowly vanished!" my question is why did you interest and trust (I assume trust is important since it was capitalized) why did it vanish did something happen involving a male that made you lose trust in men all together? Knowing this may help understand the reasons why. Hope I can help in any way possible and I will be praying. Feel free to message me anytime you need prayer. That goes for anyone and everyone too!

God Bless!
Click to expand...
Well about the trusting guys I think that comes from the fact of my dad abandoning me and my brother abanodoning us...and raping me...Along with everthing I've seen of other men around me and pretty much all of them leaving their wife for someone else. My step dad says I probably will not be able to trust guys again untill I can forgive my biological father and brother. I'm working on that...but I just do not understand why that effects the physical side of things!
 
thecreationtutor

thecreationtutor

Senior Member
#8
Jun 30, 2011
2,521
35
0
#8
VictagaNOC94 said:
Well about the trusting guys I think that comes from the fact of my dad abandoning me and my brother abanodoning us...and raping me...Along with everthing I've seen of other men around me and pretty much all of them leaving their wife for someone else. My step dad says I probably will not be able to trust guys again untill I can forgive my biological father and brother. I'm working on that...but I just do not understand why that effects the physical side of things!
Click to expand...

VictagaNOC94,

As a victim of a different form of sexual assault, I grieve that this has happened and would recommend a book to you, where I found solid healing - Rid of My Disgrace: Hope and Healing for Victims of Sexual Assault. by Justin and Lindsey Holcomb. It's written very well

peace and grace
 
Stephen63

Stephen63

Banned
#9
Aug 15, 2009
9,745
179
0
#9
VictagaNOC94 said:
Well about the trusting guys I think that comes from the fact of my dad abandoning me and my brother abanodoning us...and raping me...Along with everthing I've seen of other men around me and pretty much all of them leaving their wife for someone else. My step dad says I probably will not be able to trust guys again untill I can forgive my biological father and brother. I'm working on that...but I just do not understand why that effects the physical side of things!
Click to expand...
Sounds like your stepdad might be right. To be on the safe side, you can also go to a doctor and have your hormones checked to see whether they're in balance.
 
Mo0448

Mo0448

Senior Member
#10
Jun 10, 2013
1,209
15
38
#10
VictagaNOC94 said:
Well about the trusting guys I think that comes from the fact of my dad abandoning me and my brother abanodoning us...and raping me...Along with everthing I've seen of other men around me and pretty much all of them leaving their wife for someone else. My step dad says I probably will not be able to trust guys again untill I can forgive my biological father and brother. I'm working on that...but I just do not understand why that effects the physical side of things!
Click to expand...
I am sorry to hear you went through that. I can assure you of one thing though, God will NEVER abandon you. It's true that people ( I will say both men and women because not all women are saints :p) can and will do things that cause a lack of respect or trust from them. I know however if someone is truly walking/trusting in the Lord then you will not see them doing these things they won't be perfect but they sure won't be leaving their husbands or wives for someone else. I believe God can and will bring healing to your life! It is important to forgive and it can be difficult to do so, I suggest that you pray in regards to forgiving ask the Lord to give you a heart like His, that forgives us each and every day if we earnestly seek it.

God Bless!
 
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VictagaNOC94

Guest
#11
#11
Mo0448 said:
I am sorry to hear you went through that. I can assure you of one thing though, God will NEVER abandon you. It's true that people ( I will say both men and women because not all women are saints :p) can and will do things that cause a lack of respect or trust from them. I know however if someone is truly walking/trusting in the Lord then you will not see them doing these things they won't be perfect but they sure won't be leaving their husbands or wives for someone else. I believe God can and will bring healing to your life! It is important to forgive and it can be difficult to do so, I suggest that you pray in regards to forgiving ask the Lord to give you a heart like His, that forgives us each and every day if we earnestly seek it.

God Bless!
Click to expand...
Yeah, I'm trying to forgive. By the way. I LOVE you signature! My step dad showed me those verses like two years ago, when I was feeling like God did not love me anymore, and that he had abandoned me as well. and those verses have meant so much to me since then!
 
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VictagaNOC94

Guest
#12
#12
thecreationtutor said:
VictagaNOC94,

As a victim of a different form of sexual assault, I grieve that this has happened and would recommend a book to you, where I found solid healing - Rid of My Disgrace: Hope and Healing for Victims of Sexual Assault. by Justin and Lindsey Holcomb. It's written very well

peace and grace
Click to expand...
I'll check it out! :D
 
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dyingeveryday

Guest
#13
#13
I went through some sexual stuff too and it makes it hard to trust anyone really. Just hang in there. It's a good time to just forget about sexual preference or desires at all maybe and just seek out God and really get close to Him.
 
Mo0448

Mo0448

Senior Member
#14
Jun 10, 2013
1,209
15
38
#14
VictagaNOC94 said:
Yeah, I'm trying to forgive. By the way. I LOVE you signature! My step dad showed me those verses like two years ago, when I was feeling like God did not love me anymore, and that he had abandoned me as well. and those verses have meant so much to me since then!
Click to expand...

I always think to myself that if I could fully grasp how much God loves me geez I don't think I'd ever have a down moment in my life, but I'm human and with humanity comes inconsistency. That verse however is a constant reminder. I recommend you reading the book of Romans, its basically Christianity 101, and I constantly go back to it a lot for a fresh outlook on life and such. You are going through some time times, but you are taking some good steps to being healed and that's great to see! God Bless!!
 
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VictagaNOC94

Guest
#15
#15
dyingeveryday said:
I went through some sexual stuff too and it makes it hard to trust anyone really. Just hang in there. It's a good time to just forget about sexual preference or desires at all maybe and just seek out God and really get close to Him.
Click to expand...
Yeah! I am trying to do so!
 
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dyingeveryday

Guest
#16
#16
In every problem that you come across in life. Especially if it's our own desires fleshly especially. If we remember we don't have to and don't need it. Then put your focus on God. Whatever it is will fade away and God will work on it. Just hand it to Him. No doubt it will work out.
 
T_Laurich

T_Laurich

Senior Member
#17
Mar 24, 2013
3,356
122
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#17
Being 18 sucks,

I say we internet high five :D

internet-high-five.jpg
 
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VictagaNOC94

Guest
#19
#19
dyingeveryday said:
In every problem that you come across in life. Especially if it's our own desires fleshly especially. If we remember we don't have to and don't need it. Then put your focus on God. Whatever it is will fade away and God will work on it. Just hand it to Him. No doubt it will work out.
Click to expand...
Yeah! Trusting God sometimes is hard too though! I'm trying though.
 
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dyingeveryday

Guest
#20
#20
That's okay, just keep trying and keep open to God. He will do the rest.
 
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