Oh, sister! I have had my share of falling in love, or being heavily infatuated XD i still do, actually.
Hmm...as i think of it, it usually starts with basic physical attraction. Either he has these awesome eyes, or irresistible smile. Hot looking hair...broad shoulders...plus a voice that makes music even though he's just talking...ok, i'm rambling and daydreaming now XD but you get the idea. It's the first thing that hits us...what our senses perceive. There's nothing bad about it, as long as there's no lust involved. For me, i resort to affirming whether my attraction is purely physical or so much more. If its purely physical, i'll tell myself: "Hey, you just admire this guy's looks. That's all."
Now, it gets tricky when there's so much more than the physical attraction. Like, if he's this very smart, funny, witty, talented guy, who speaks his mind, is afire for Christ and loves GOD so much...simply WOW. He's practically your dream guy (or at least, my dream guy XD), that you'd simply feel like wanting to get a hold of him and make him yours (which of course isn't how love works, but you get the idea, right? XD). This is when it's definitely super hard not to fall in love. It's during this time that you should be praying hard. 'Coz this is the stage that GOD's wisdom and discernment is very important.
Praying helps us focus on GOD, and not ourselves. It gives us a chance to relax, take a step back, and assess our thoughts and feelings for this guy. If he's someone we're not supposed to fall for (like, he's unavailable, or he's a non-Christian), then you have to focus on those very truths. Because first and foremost, you have to protect yourself from heartache and falling into a state of compromising your faith and your walk with GOD. It's easier said than done, i know. But if you want to be safe and secure, it's a must. You have to ask yourself: "What's more important? What do i desire more? This guy's attention, or the joy of the LORD?"
When you've set your heart to do the right thing, then follow through. No ifs and no buts. You have to not think of him nor daydream about him, so as not to fuel the desire for him. Keep praying for this too, of course. For me, it's tough 'coz my imagination really runs wild, and i consider so many possibilities. What i do aside from praying hard, is to stick with what i really want. The guy that i really long for GOD to bring into my life. I keep him faceless in my mind. I focus on the attributes and qualities that i'd like for this dream person of mine to have. I stay true and honest regarding this request, not settling for anything less, and i trust that GOD will bring us together at the right time, when we're both ready. With this in mind, i learn to not simply rely on what i feel nor perceive. I learn to trust in GOD and HIS plan for me.
Loneliness can be quite a challenge. Feelings can be quite hard to control. But fortunately, GOD holds our hearts safe and secure, and HIS love and HIS promises soothes us and calms us down, as we trust in HIS leading