tis the curse of the lonely. i have quite a penchant to get attached.
anyone else find themselves falling in love with people they don't mean to fall for?
anyone else find themselves falling in love with people they don't mean to fall for?
i fall in love way too easily
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Shouryu
Guest
Actually falling in love, or just crushing on them? Because for me, there's a biiiiiiiiiiig difference between the two.
A person can fall only as much as they allow themselves to fall. Although this may not apply to all areas of life, it applies a 100% to falling in love. Self Control is probably the word for you, I don't know....
i guess the question to ask is what's the difference to you. in love does not mean commitment, but rather of flood of emotions that come with being emotionally attached to another person
I get this too.
But usually it dies if it doesn't get fed. Or if I don't act on it. It settles into the friend zone or something.
I know that I can't make myself fall for someone. But I also can't help but fall for someone when I find that they are irresistibly amazing.
So if I find myself melting and I can't help it, I usually look for faults in the possibility of being together. Irreconcilable differences and I try to focus on whether or not I would let them down or how the relationship would eventually die.
But usually it dies if it doesn't get fed. Or if I don't act on it. It settles into the friend zone or something.
I know that I can't make myself fall for someone. But I also can't help but fall for someone when I find that they are irresistibly amazing.
So if I find myself melting and I can't help it, I usually look for faults in the possibility of being together. Irreconcilable differences and I try to focus on whether or not I would let them down or how the relationship would eventually die.
D
Donkeyfish07
Guest
If I let my guard down I can get sucked in really easy sometimes. There's no cure that I'm aware of 
I believe you are asking for a christian perspective. If so, one must not allow oneself to get emotionally hooked up to someone (be it a celebrity or a neighbor or a colleague) they do not have a future with.The heart (emotions) & the mind (reason, logic), both must be involved; not just the heart.
awesome answer. you're right. it's about where in the midst of emotions that we put our focus. if we focus on the inevitable death of the relationship, it will make it easier than if we focus on that which we love about someone wrong for us.
2 thumbs up.
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iTOREtheSKY
Guest
I don't really like the term "falling in love" (though I am totally guilty of using it,even in the not so distant past,and may still use it again) but I feel like the term makes is sound like we have no control or say in choosing whom we bestow our love upon or who we give our hearts to. (does that make sense?)
I believe you can meet someone & have a connection with them off the bat & that may lead to an attraction or maybe even a crush,like Shour pointed out...but to actually "fall in love" with someone I think is a choice of will...both of the heart & mind. At least loving someone in a true & deep meaningful way.
I believe you can meet someone & have a connection with them off the bat & that may lead to an attraction or maybe even a crush,like Shour pointed out...but to actually "fall in love" with someone I think is a choice of will...both of the heart & mind. At least loving someone in a true & deep meaningful way.
C
Catlynn
Guest
How depressing. haha
To the OP: So if you know that it's probably not the wisest thing to get involved with whoever the person is that you're crushing on/in love with, then recognize and accept your feelings (btw, feelings shouldn't be the driving force in our decision making, but it's good to recognize them because they're often an indication of where our heart and mind are.) and carry on. Find other things that matter to you and are important to fill your thought life with so as not to obsess over the situation or that special person. Obsessing is never good or healthy.
Unless you're a professional stalker or something...I have a tendency to think of all of the negative aspects of a possible relationship and then totally back off. Also not a good idea. It tends to make one a bit pessimistic and hopeless. Sad, but true.
Hopeful, excited and wise are good! Obsessive or pessimistic are both bad. lol
Oh, sister! I have had my share of falling in love, or being heavily infatuated XD i still do, actually.
Hmm...as i think of it, it usually starts with basic physical attraction. Either he has these awesome eyes, or irresistible smile. Hot looking hair...broad shoulders...plus a voice that makes music even though he's just talking...ok, i'm rambling and daydreaming now XD but you get the idea. It's the first thing that hits us...what our senses perceive. There's nothing bad about it, as long as there's no lust involved. For me, i resort to affirming whether my attraction is purely physical or so much more. If its purely physical, i'll tell myself: "Hey, you just admire this guy's looks. That's all."
Now, it gets tricky when there's so much more than the physical attraction. Like, if he's this very smart, funny, witty, talented guy, who speaks his mind, is afire for Christ and loves GOD so much...simply WOW. He's practically your dream guy (or at least, my dream guy XD), that you'd simply feel like wanting to get a hold of him and make him yours (which of course isn't how love works, but you get the idea, right? XD). This is when it's definitely super hard not to fall in love. It's during this time that you should be praying hard. 'Coz this is the stage that GOD's wisdom and discernment is very important.
Praying helps us focus on GOD, and not ourselves. It gives us a chance to relax, take a step back, and assess our thoughts and feelings for this guy. If he's someone we're not supposed to fall for (like, he's unavailable, or he's a non-Christian), then you have to focus on those very truths. Because first and foremost, you have to protect yourself from heartache and falling into a state of compromising your faith and your walk with GOD. It's easier said than done, i know. But if you want to be safe and secure, it's a must. You have to ask yourself: "What's more important? What do i desire more? This guy's attention, or the joy of the LORD?"
When you've set your heart to do the right thing, then follow through. No ifs and no buts. You have to not think of him nor daydream about him, so as not to fuel the desire for him. Keep praying for this too, of course. For me, it's tough 'coz my imagination really runs wild, and i consider so many possibilities. What i do aside from praying hard, is to stick with what i really want. The guy that i really long for GOD to bring into my life. I keep him faceless in my mind. I focus on the attributes and qualities that i'd like for this dream person of mine to have. I stay true and honest regarding this request, not settling for anything less, and i trust that GOD will bring us together at the right time, when we're both ready. With this in mind, i learn to not simply rely on what i feel nor perceive. I learn to trust in GOD and HIS plan for me.
Loneliness can be quite a challenge. Feelings can be quite hard to control. But fortunately, GOD holds our hearts safe and secure, and HIS love and HIS promises soothes us and calms us down, as we trust in HIS leading
Hmm...as i think of it, it usually starts with basic physical attraction. Either he has these awesome eyes, or irresistible smile. Hot looking hair...broad shoulders...plus a voice that makes music even though he's just talking...ok, i'm rambling and daydreaming now XD but you get the idea. It's the first thing that hits us...what our senses perceive. There's nothing bad about it, as long as there's no lust involved. For me, i resort to affirming whether my attraction is purely physical or so much more. If its purely physical, i'll tell myself: "Hey, you just admire this guy's looks. That's all."
Now, it gets tricky when there's so much more than the physical attraction. Like, if he's this very smart, funny, witty, talented guy, who speaks his mind, is afire for Christ and loves GOD so much...simply WOW. He's practically your dream guy (or at least, my dream guy XD), that you'd simply feel like wanting to get a hold of him and make him yours (which of course isn't how love works, but you get the idea, right? XD). This is when it's definitely super hard not to fall in love. It's during this time that you should be praying hard. 'Coz this is the stage that GOD's wisdom and discernment is very important.
Praying helps us focus on GOD, and not ourselves. It gives us a chance to relax, take a step back, and assess our thoughts and feelings for this guy. If he's someone we're not supposed to fall for (like, he's unavailable, or he's a non-Christian), then you have to focus on those very truths. Because first and foremost, you have to protect yourself from heartache and falling into a state of compromising your faith and your walk with GOD. It's easier said than done, i know. But if you want to be safe and secure, it's a must. You have to ask yourself: "What's more important? What do i desire more? This guy's attention, or the joy of the LORD?"
When you've set your heart to do the right thing, then follow through. No ifs and no buts. You have to not think of him nor daydream about him, so as not to fuel the desire for him. Keep praying for this too, of course. For me, it's tough 'coz my imagination really runs wild, and i consider so many possibilities. What i do aside from praying hard, is to stick with what i really want. The guy that i really long for GOD to bring into my life. I keep him faceless in my mind. I focus on the attributes and qualities that i'd like for this dream person of mine to have. I stay true and honest regarding this request, not settling for anything less, and i trust that GOD will bring us together at the right time, when we're both ready. With this in mind, i learn to not simply rely on what i feel nor perceive. I learn to trust in GOD and HIS plan for me.
Loneliness can be quite a challenge. Feelings can be quite hard to control. But fortunately, GOD holds our hearts safe and secure, and HIS love and HIS promises soothes us and calms us down, as we trust in HIS leading
i find when i'm in certain seasons of loneliness...it doesn't take that much attention to get my attention.
if i feel valuable to one person...i'm gonna get attached.
it's simply a matter of how i deal with that attachment that matters. sigh. he was the only one who even cared i was gone for 3 months. and when i came back he picked me up and spun me around
yeah. that's all it takes...
if i feel valuable to one person...i'm gonna get attached.
it's simply a matter of how i deal with that attachment that matters. sigh. he was the only one who even cared i was gone for 3 months. and when i came back he picked me up and spun me around
yeah. that's all it takes...
I don't really know what falling in love is sometimes. Is it something authentic and built to last between two people or is it that hormone-induced illusion.
I have run to an oasis only to find a mirage several times.
Only once do I know I have found a place worth setting up tents and felt it with every fiber of my being.
I have run to an oasis only to find a mirage several times.
Only once do I know I have found a place worth setting up tents and felt it with every fiber of my being.
I actually really like "falling in love."
Because I can meet and connect with interesting people all the time but, to have that WOW factor, of this person is in my life and I don't know if I can live without them.
There is no other term I would use for that.
Because I can meet and connect with interesting people all the time but, to have that WOW factor, of this person is in my life and I don't know if I can live without them.
There is no other term I would use for that.
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iTOREtheSKY
Guest
I "liked" yer' comment because I understand & sometimes when I was a teen I felt the same way. I appreciate your honesty in your posts..I will say that much. Not many people lay it all out there like you do. Even if we don't agree on certain topics,I certainly find yer' comments interesting & appreciate them.i find when i'm in certain seasons of loneliness...it doesn't take that much attention to get my attention.
if i feel valuable to one person...i'm gonna get attached.
it's simply a matter of how i deal with that attachment that matters. sigh. he was the only one who even cared i was gone for 3 months. and when i came back he picked me up and spun me around
yeah. that's all it takes...
i completely agree. it's almost comforting to have someone catch a passion in your heart...even if we know ahead of time it can't go anywhere. crushes can crush....but much of the time they feel really nice....
it's like. ok. my heart's still alive.
and i used to feel that way about the term 'falling in love' about how it's a choice who we let ourselves fall for.
but i honestly think that we can't help who we love. crushes just sort of come out of nowhere and bop you over the head.
but i honestly think that we can't help who we love. crushes just sort of come out of nowhere and bop you over the head.
thanks buddy
i appreciate your whimsical heart on these posts here as well i wear my heart on my hand.... can't hide is any better than i can hide my nose
Could the lonliness stem from a whole in ones heart? Wanting to be liked, and feel important? I know this happened to me and too a long time to see that whole that was in my heart that god had already filled up, but I disregarded that and did not see and got me into a lot of troubles, yet God has stayed Faithful nad waited patiently for me to see truth, and then once made aware of what God already did from the first day I belived, I am not lonely anymore at all. This amazing grace is fantastic, learning from ever travail that has happened, knowing somehow God has got me, you and allthe world smothered and covered in him. This understanding cuts out the thief that is still around trying to steal, kill, and destroy.
Hope you to see this at least ponder what God ahs already done for you personally
Thanks Homwardbound
Hope you to see this at least ponder what God ahs already done for you personally
Thanks Homwardbound