Hello Everybody,
What has your experience been as far as getting along with the families of the people you've dated and/or had relationships with? Have you ever left someone/ been left by someone because you did not get along with their family or he/she did not get along with your family? Would you marry someone your family did not like (or whose family you did not like)? Would you stay with someone whose family does not like you? What about if there was a race difference and there was prejudice on one side or both because of it?
I've had mixed experiences--a few occasions where a guy would tell me he liked me, then experience heat from his friends or family because I was a different race, and consequently proceeded to act like I didn't exist the next day because of it.
When I was about 18, I became engaged to my high school boyfriend... but eventually decided to end it because his mother was bent on controlling me (because she had full control over her own children and expected me to fall at her feet as well.) I understand proper respect, but with her, it was a full dictatorship.
Here is one small example: my boyfriend was only a few years older and still living at home--she was paying part of his car insurance for him because he had several other bills--when we would want to go somewhere (such as, to my brother's place an hour away) she didn't want us to go, she would threaten to stop paying for his insurance, etc. Anything we did or didn't do that did or didn't meet her approval was met with some sort of threat. Because he never stood up to her (and yet absolutely bowled over everyone else with his own opinions, which is why my friends didn't like him), and would never cut the umbilical cord even when he did finally get his own place, and because I saw how she treated his sister, her husband, and their children... for this and many other reasons, I decided to get out. I did not want to have a family being raised by her control or manipulated by her threats, and he was unwilling to be away from her or stand up to her.
Mothers always seem to love me until they see me as competition for their son's attention (my ex-mother-in-law tried to stop our wedding, telling everyone I was "evil"--well...
.) Maybe I should have let her and it would have saved some grief...
Anyway!! What do you all think? How important of a role does family play (both theirs and your own) in whom you would choose as a significant other or a spouse?
What has your experience been as far as getting along with the families of the people you've dated and/or had relationships with? Have you ever left someone/ been left by someone because you did not get along with their family or he/she did not get along with your family? Would you marry someone your family did not like (or whose family you did not like)? Would you stay with someone whose family does not like you? What about if there was a race difference and there was prejudice on one side or both because of it?
I've had mixed experiences--a few occasions where a guy would tell me he liked me, then experience heat from his friends or family because I was a different race, and consequently proceeded to act like I didn't exist the next day because of it.
When I was about 18, I became engaged to my high school boyfriend... but eventually decided to end it because his mother was bent on controlling me (because she had full control over her own children and expected me to fall at her feet as well.) I understand proper respect, but with her, it was a full dictatorship.
Here is one small example: my boyfriend was only a few years older and still living at home--she was paying part of his car insurance for him because he had several other bills--when we would want to go somewhere (such as, to my brother's place an hour away) she didn't want us to go, she would threaten to stop paying for his insurance, etc. Anything we did or didn't do that did or didn't meet her approval was met with some sort of threat. Because he never stood up to her (and yet absolutely bowled over everyone else with his own opinions, which is why my friends didn't like him), and would never cut the umbilical cord even when he did finally get his own place, and because I saw how she treated his sister, her husband, and their children... for this and many other reasons, I decided to get out. I did not want to have a family being raised by her control or manipulated by her threats, and he was unwilling to be away from her or stand up to her.
Mothers always seem to love me until they see me as competition for their son's attention (my ex-mother-in-law tried to stop our wedding, telling everyone I was "evil"--well...
.) Maybe I should have let her and it would have saved some grief... Anyway!! What do you all think? How important of a role does family play (both theirs and your own) in whom you would choose as a significant other or a spouse?
