I am married, and it seems being down on marriage is a trend with a lot of unmarried (and especially divorced) folks. The institution of marriage has sort of unraveled a bit over the past few decades. There was feminism, which redefined roles in the family, the sexual revolution which led many then young people into sex outside of marriage. Now there is so-'called gay marriage.' And all the while, the divorce rate has sky rocketed. Even many churches say little about divorce contrary to the Bible, and a lot of pastor are divorced and remarried, which was rather rare many decades ago.
I have some relatives whose mother divorced six times throughout her life. One of the men, the father of most of her kids, was violent with her when he got drunk. Three of her kids said they would never marry. One of them divorced and remarried. Another divorced twice and remarried. One of them is still single and has said for years that he doesn't want to marry.
There are also some of the men's movement sites telling men it is foolish to marry to set themselves up to lose half of their possessions to a divorce, and encouraging them just to engage in multiple affairs and fornicate. If you don't have morals, that makes sense, especially if the type of woman you would marry is the type of woman to fornicate with a man like that.
I am married, and happy to be married. Is marriage hard? Sometimes. Most of the time it isn't. Most of the time, for me, it's easier than being single, at least if you taking having kids out of the equation. Before the kids came along, married life was a lot more enjoyable than being single, and just about as easy. After the kids came along, it's not as easy, but it's still really good to be married.
If you are single and you want to go out and grab a bite to eat, what do you do? Maybe you can call up a friend? Or you can sit there alone. Then you see couples there eating together. Or let's say you went to the mall or to something for entertainment by yourself, and you see all those couples coming out of the movie theater at the mall while you are there by yourself, longing for someone to be with.
My marriage has been hard at times, but those times are usually short and don't compare to the joys of marriage on a daily basis. Marriage has been hard for us at times when there is a lot of stress, like when we are moving or when my wife had 'hormonal issues' and mood during pregnancy or right after childbirth.
I have someone to share my thoughts with. I can work, and she can stay home with our kids. She's a great cook, and I'm pretty good at boiling water, so I get to eat all this fancy gourmet food. If my wife were single, she couldn't rub sore muscles out of her own back, and going for a massage can be a little weird. But I can rub the sore muscles out of her back. I know this is the singles forum, but I'll let you guys in on the secret that a guilt free sex life is a very enjoyable thing.
The secret is that I found a woman who fears the LORD. It isn't always easy. Like Proverbs says, "a woman who fears the LORD, who can find." The secret is to choose a good spouse, and to be a good spouse yourself. If your husband or wife fears the LORD, if he or she does something wrong, he/she knows he/she needs to repent. You both appeal to the same source, the word of God, for how the marriage is to function and how you are supposed to relate to each other. One thing that I believe has really helped our marriage is Ephesians 5. It tells us our roles and responsibilities in the marriage. A lot of marital problems can be solved by following it. If I love my wife, am I going to yell at her, call her names, or take her for granted? No. If my wife respects or reverences me and submits to me, is she going to nag me, yell at me, or throw plates at me? No. If you both fear the Lord, if you sin, the other spouse has a basis on which to appeal to the other spouse.
Maybe most men and women in this country would not make a good spouse. That could be the case. But there are good potential spouses out there. The trick is to be selective. Even more important is to pray in faith, and believe God to send you a good, quality person who is suitable for you. That means someone you will 'connect with', someone you are attracted to enough to marry who is also attracted enough to you. When you are single, it may feel like it will never happen for you. I got married at 27, and I remember seeing those couples together at the mall and wondering when I would ever find someone for me. I was particular about looks, and I was looking for someone with specific beliefs and spiritual characteristics. But, sure enough, it happened, and it was in response to my prayers.
If you are happy being a life-long celibate, that's great. But if you long to be married, don't get discouraged and give up on it because you've seen some bad marriages. Bad marriages exist because people don't follow the word of God. Find a spouse who fears the Lord, fear the Lord yourself, and follow the word of God in your marriage.
I have some relatives whose mother divorced six times throughout her life. One of the men, the father of most of her kids, was violent with her when he got drunk. Three of her kids said they would never marry. One of them divorced and remarried. Another divorced twice and remarried. One of them is still single and has said for years that he doesn't want to marry.
There are also some of the men's movement sites telling men it is foolish to marry to set themselves up to lose half of their possessions to a divorce, and encouraging them just to engage in multiple affairs and fornicate. If you don't have morals, that makes sense, especially if the type of woman you would marry is the type of woman to fornicate with a man like that.
I am married, and happy to be married. Is marriage hard? Sometimes. Most of the time it isn't. Most of the time, for me, it's easier than being single, at least if you taking having kids out of the equation. Before the kids came along, married life was a lot more enjoyable than being single, and just about as easy. After the kids came along, it's not as easy, but it's still really good to be married.
If you are single and you want to go out and grab a bite to eat, what do you do? Maybe you can call up a friend? Or you can sit there alone. Then you see couples there eating together. Or let's say you went to the mall or to something for entertainment by yourself, and you see all those couples coming out of the movie theater at the mall while you are there by yourself, longing for someone to be with.
My marriage has been hard at times, but those times are usually short and don't compare to the joys of marriage on a daily basis. Marriage has been hard for us at times when there is a lot of stress, like when we are moving or when my wife had 'hormonal issues' and mood during pregnancy or right after childbirth.
I have someone to share my thoughts with. I can work, and she can stay home with our kids. She's a great cook, and I'm pretty good at boiling water, so I get to eat all this fancy gourmet food. If my wife were single, she couldn't rub sore muscles out of her own back, and going for a massage can be a little weird. But I can rub the sore muscles out of her back. I know this is the singles forum, but I'll let you guys in on the secret that a guilt free sex life is a very enjoyable thing.
The secret is that I found a woman who fears the LORD. It isn't always easy. Like Proverbs says, "a woman who fears the LORD, who can find." The secret is to choose a good spouse, and to be a good spouse yourself. If your husband or wife fears the LORD, if he or she does something wrong, he/she knows he/she needs to repent. You both appeal to the same source, the word of God, for how the marriage is to function and how you are supposed to relate to each other. One thing that I believe has really helped our marriage is Ephesians 5. It tells us our roles and responsibilities in the marriage. A lot of marital problems can be solved by following it. If I love my wife, am I going to yell at her, call her names, or take her for granted? No. If my wife respects or reverences me and submits to me, is she going to nag me, yell at me, or throw plates at me? No. If you both fear the Lord, if you sin, the other spouse has a basis on which to appeal to the other spouse.
Maybe most men and women in this country would not make a good spouse. That could be the case. But there are good potential spouses out there. The trick is to be selective. Even more important is to pray in faith, and believe God to send you a good, quality person who is suitable for you. That means someone you will 'connect with', someone you are attracted to enough to marry who is also attracted enough to you. When you are single, it may feel like it will never happen for you. I got married at 27, and I remember seeing those couples together at the mall and wondering when I would ever find someone for me. I was particular about looks, and I was looking for someone with specific beliefs and spiritual characteristics. But, sure enough, it happened, and it was in response to my prayers.
If you are happy being a life-long celibate, that's great. But if you long to be married, don't get discouraged and give up on it because you've seen some bad marriages. Bad marriages exist because people don't follow the word of God. Find a spouse who fears the Lord, fear the Lord yourself, and follow the word of God in your marriage.