Hello, I have a very complicated situation. First I just want to say that certain stereotypes about my situation have never helped me, and just made me angry in the past. Lets not bring up any stereotypes please.
There are stereotypes in our society about guys being 25+ and living with their mother and blah blah. I have the opposite situation. I am not living with my mother voluntarily. The situation is much more complicated and tricky.
First some background. My parents got divorced when I was 3 years old. I don't have any brothers or sisters. I was raised by my mother, grandfather, and grandmother. We are a very close family and always have been. A few years ago my grandfather died, and now its just my mother and grandmother.
I am 27 years old. I just graduated from college, and got a full time job. I want to get married someday obviously.
Now here is the situation. Because I was raised by a single mother, and because I am the only child, she can be a bit overbearing and controlling and afraid to death that I will move out someday and abandon her. She makes half my salary. She has a house and mortgage to pay for. I don't want to abandon her. Its hard to imagine her living all alone in that big house. She has few friends.
Basically I am filling the void that a husband is supposed to take place in her life. This was always very hard, all throughout my college years too. I'm sure it contributes in some ways to why I have few friends, no girlfriend, and etc. Now that I graduated, got a high paying job, bought a car, and etc the situation is beginning to get tense. I am afraid that there will have to be some sort of major battle or war between me and her until she realizes that I grew up and need to have my own life. At the same time I don't want to abandon her. She has been a good mother to me. As you can see the situation is much more complicated than "oh he lives with his mother at 27, he is a loser blah blah" I heard all that before, and its hurtful. Especially since I worked really hard all my life and finally have a stable career and deserve to be respected. Dating is going to be very difficult for me I can tell. Few women can understand my situation and all its complexities. There is bound to be a lot of arguments and misunderstandings. I can sense them. I know they will occur.
If someone else here has went through a similar situation, maybe they can offer their advice on how to deal with it. I greatly appreciate it. Thank you
-Gene
There are stereotypes in our society about guys being 25+ and living with their mother and blah blah. I have the opposite situation. I am not living with my mother voluntarily. The situation is much more complicated and tricky.
First some background. My parents got divorced when I was 3 years old. I don't have any brothers or sisters. I was raised by my mother, grandfather, and grandmother. We are a very close family and always have been. A few years ago my grandfather died, and now its just my mother and grandmother.
I am 27 years old. I just graduated from college, and got a full time job. I want to get married someday obviously.
Now here is the situation. Because I was raised by a single mother, and because I am the only child, she can be a bit overbearing and controlling and afraid to death that I will move out someday and abandon her. She makes half my salary. She has a house and mortgage to pay for. I don't want to abandon her. Its hard to imagine her living all alone in that big house. She has few friends.
Basically I am filling the void that a husband is supposed to take place in her life. This was always very hard, all throughout my college years too. I'm sure it contributes in some ways to why I have few friends, no girlfriend, and etc. Now that I graduated, got a high paying job, bought a car, and etc the situation is beginning to get tense. I am afraid that there will have to be some sort of major battle or war between me and her until she realizes that I grew up and need to have my own life. At the same time I don't want to abandon her. She has been a good mother to me. As you can see the situation is much more complicated than "oh he lives with his mother at 27, he is a loser blah blah" I heard all that before, and its hurtful. Especially since I worked really hard all my life and finally have a stable career and deserve to be respected. Dating is going to be very difficult for me I can tell. Few women can understand my situation and all its complexities. There is bound to be a lot of arguments and misunderstandings. I can sense them. I know they will occur.
If someone else here has went through a similar situation, maybe they can offer their advice on how to deal with it. I greatly appreciate it. Thank you
-Gene
I live with my parents, not really by choice (though I like living with them), just the chain of events called for it, but sometimes when people call you a loser or look down on you, it's because they don't know the whole situation. So, try not to let it get to you so much. Easier said than done, I know.
