Yup...so far, no one's interested in our house. Granted it's only been on the market for 5-6 days...but c'mon. I'm gettin' anxious over here!! I'm just getting that feeling we need to get movin'.
Today was.....meh.Today's kind of an off day for me, this doesn't usually happen
Tonight's one of those nights where I just want to be held. To cry and not have them ask anything, but just hold me.
Bleh.
I have pulled enough weeds out of the garden in the last 2 days that you can ALMOST identify the vegetables that are, miraculously, still managing to grow in there. Actually, the carrots are completely weed-free, and now I'm working on the onions. In between trying to keep my son entertained, and my daughter from squawking. This little girl screams. SCREAMS. And shrieks. And squeals. She kinda sounds like a little piglet, actually. It's horrible. But, when she's not making sounds that make me wish I were deaf, she's beautiful and adorable and super huggable.
I've determined what sort of strange plants are growing at random in my yard (where the dirt pile from digging up the well was). Ivy. Poppies. Tomatoes. I have no idea why I didn't recognize the tomatoes, but it helps that they are now producing...tomatoes...so, that was a good clue.
I've been gardening in capris, hoping the sunshine would stop reflecting off my legs and maybe start turning them a nice brown color. So far, I can't even manage to get burned.
Just keep swimming, just keep swimming....
Listening but not being heard is something ive really struggled with my whole life..ive had to take a look at some things in this lately.. admitting out in the open probably for the first time in my life today that i have always gotten angry when i felt I wasnt being heard or interrupted.. Im sitting in my truck right now looking into the sunrise , just got done having a conversation with someone who finds it more important to be heard than to listen.. i could feel that burning in my gut as i was being interrupted and spoken over... I turned my focus towards God instead of unleashing on someone who doesnt see it..i let loose of my anger before him expressing my emotions with Him, "frustration and anger" .. not listening to the conversation before me... Yes, doing the very thing i was
getting angry about..
so interesting how the Holy Spirit comes to teach... in that moment i was shown a reflection... THIS is exactly what it looled like and felt like every time i was trying to talk to you michelle.... i immediately had a desire to return to the conversation with this individual and observe... Listen... Be sober minded in it.. for the first time in my life, i am lookong at how ive been
before God all these years... talk about a humbling moment .. A repentive moment.. "My God My God, how i have forsaken you".. something happened in this moment... the weight on me
Suddenly shifted.i could literally feel my heart soften... . a veil lifted.. I can suddenly see in a way ive never seen before... This naked moment before God has brought a new insight... such an impact that i know i will be reminded of Him and my own conduct towards Him.. His patience, forgiveness, and tollerance of me in my own state of ill repute.. Gods grace and love, tollerance and mercy towards me is so sufficent..
I am constantly amazed at the genius and contribution that C.S. Lewis has given to Christian apologetics. I normally don't say this sort of stuff, but I really have to wonder how much was God speaking to us through him.