SHOULD THE CHURCH MATCH MAKE?

[Ugly]

I don't see any biblical basis for the church having the responsibility for finding my mate. The church has no business in that area. Church is supposed to be about teaching, growth, discipleship and fellowship. Not a dating service headed by the pastor.
Also, that only puts pressure on people to hurry and date. There is also no biblical mandate that Christians should be married. Its not a bad thing, but church culture seems to place marriage as the goal of Christians, when it's not. Churches, rather, need to focus more on helping and encouraging singles and put less emphasis on marriage. Many singles have trouble finding churches that aren't marriage/family focused. Rather than marrying them off, they need to take care of singles where they are at.

 

[presidente]

I think the Church could do more for singles than leave them in a dusty corner of the room and forget all about them but I don't think match-making is the right idea. It's intrusive, disrespectful and tacky.

I think it's fine if the person being matched has asked for it. Otherwise, it only makes sense if someone in the church has a close relationship with you where they can suggest introducing you to someone.

I'm thinking of introductions, not, "You marry you." I've heard of that happening in some rather controlling churches. I suppose there may be cases of where one person was prophesied to marry another. My wife and I got a prophecy that we would go to many places and minister to many people together, that sort of implied marriage to me. But that was right after I had decided to propose and it was 100% settled for me that she would be my wife, I think the very next day after as a matter of fact, which is pretty cool. I would have loved it before I got to 100%.

I know this widower preacher who went to visit some churches he'd planted. There, a woman about 20 or 25 years younger than he sensed the Lord was telling her they were to be married. I'm not sure if he heard anything specific. He didn't tell that part. But she was young and nice-looking, and he sure seemed happy about it after he came back engaged. I think they've been married 10 or 12 years and have a few children together.

 

[isaria]

Introduce and perhaps let the party know they are available and single but not in a intrusive manner as one should have right to choose and decline with out any dramas.

One church has dance and that is a nice way for people to interact and maybe meet a single party.
Dance lesson .
I have not dared myself there yet as been tired in meat but hope to go one day.

Match.com was no good , christian mingle did nothing and i feel rather dusty here day after day alone some , no true friends even .

Agree, some thing can/should be done but not macth making with expectations and angryness if they are not interested in the party introduced to.

 

[Jullianna]

You have to be careful when matching people or THIS can happen

 

[maxwel]

I think it's natural for people at church to want to introduce you to people, and hook you up.

I don't think it's necessarily good or bad... it's just what people do.

 

[rachelsedge]

Are we talking a few people in the church who know you want to set you up? Or the entire church is behind it?

One I think is more okay than the other. A few friends are trying to set me up with another guy friend (and NOT being very subtle about it -_- ) but if the whole church knew and was encouraging it, that'd be way too much pressure. I don't like the teasing and pressure from my three friends as is. I can't imagine the whole church being behind it.

Church can be a good place to find someone compatible with you, but I don't think it should be the focus and it should be done carefully and thoughtfully.

 

[TyC113]

In a sense I agree with Rachel is saying about friends helping you meet, but I feel like the church's role should be to protect the purity of the couple, not be their matchmaker. Dating can be too individualistic, and there needs to be some people involved who can make sure that the heat doesn't get turned up or give wisdom and advice to the couple. That way people can date with purpose and plans, I guess.

 

[DuchessAimee]

In a sense I agree with Rachel is saying about friends helping you meet, but I feel like the church's role should be to protect the purity of the couple, not be their matchmaker. Dating can be too individualistic, and there needs to be some people involved who can make sure that the heat doesn't get turned up or give wisdom and advice to the couple. That way people can date with purpose and plans, I guess.

No one can do that but the couple.

 

[TyC113]

Yes, but that's not what I mean. Someone to give guidance to. I know for me I would surely like to have someone I could get a little bit of knowledge about what to avoid. How about an older couple demonstrating what it truly means to live as a couple and get along? That would be smart. That way they're not just winging it.

 

[Mammachickadee]

By "the church" do you mean the local body of believers, or do you mean the church as a whole? That may be a rhetorical question, so forgive me... but if anyone is qualified to encourage God-centered relationships it is the church. HOWEVER, How many local churches do you know of that have a proper view of marriage, let alone the ability to play God with one of the most important decisions of a person's life? In so many churches today women are taught they are, at the core, subservient to men and have no right to express an opposing opinion to any husband or church leadership. Bottom line... no human being can determine for you who would be the "perfect mate". Even your most trusted friend or beloved pastor does not know your heart and your needs like God does, and anyone who claims to have a right to decide for you what is right or wrong is attempting to convince you as an adult that they are your mediator between you and God. Very unbiblical and very heartbreaking to the savior that sacrificed himself to become your all-in-all and mediator between God and Man.

 

[mustaphadrink]

I think the Church could do more for singles than leave them in a dusty corner of the room and forget all about them but I don't think match-making is the right idea. It's intrusive, disrespectful and tacky.

Mine was an arranged marriage by the church. One day in a meeting a lady in the congregation looked at me, looked at my future wife and said to herself "those two are mean't to marry each other." I was 28 and my wife was 29.

She didn't say anything to either of us. Just invited both of us to spend the weekend at her place without knowing the other was going to be there. As they say the rest was history and we married four months later. We have just celebrated out 44th wedding anniversary.