God knows our hearts and is the only one who does. He understands our frustrations and our want to just get on with life the way 'we want'.
7 years ago one evening I prayed to God that I wanted to have a closer walk with Him. What an awesome experience.
7 years ago I was widowed and with a failing business with no resources to get me out and I was going ever deeper. I told God one night You know God if you were my partner we could succeed at everything. I am just so lost and don't know where to go from here.
He told me to give away all my product in the business and I did. I opened the door, made the announcement and people flocked in to take what they wanted. Even product they didn't know what it was used for they took. LoL I think if they did a 'Hoarders' movie over there they would have clients for a long time.
Since then I have walked through the desert for 40 years with the Israelites, lamented with Job, and new what it was like to be picked up for salvage by the 'Master Potter'.
I have gone without electricity in the middle of winter but despite the cold the room I stayed in was very warm. My food was bread and crackers my son gave to me with water/coffee also from my son. Eventually my family did a gathering to collect money to get my hydro up and running, my widow pension provided me enough to make the payments and my son supplied me with groceries unless I was babysitting while he worked then I earned it. Far cry from the offices I held in the past or the business my husband and I operated. From riches to rags story.
When things started getting worse (I know, how could they get worst right!) God told me He would give me little helps and I wondered at that. The next day I had 3 home cooked meals deliver to my door and people who I didn't even associate with or had ever acknowledged me started giving me fresh caught spring salmon occasionally. It really helped me through. I'm relating disjointedly because I didn't start babysitting until later which is why things were so bad at that time. My pension was barely enough to cover the hydro and nothing more.
During this time I walked a strange walk with God where it was a hate love relationship at times. I went through great loneliness, despair, and doubt but always God would wait for me to get over myself and then the teachings would continue. There were bleak periods where I thought He had given up on me but it was times when I had to reflect on my walk with Him, His teachings, and how to put His teachings into action.
Also during this time I was beseiged by evil seeking to sweep me up and devour my soul but God lovingly reminded me that He would never leave me nor forsake me and once His He never lets go. My teaching to always have God at the forefront and to have faith that He will sustain me and keep me no matter what I face and that He IS the Lord God Almighty of Israel, the great I AM.
Much has happened over these 7 years and I have come a long way. One thing I have learned is to be thankful for where I am and what I have no matter how meager it may seem to man because God has a promise to fulfill for me and He told me that what He has for me is even greater than all that He has shown me or brought me through in my past but that would be another story.
eg. I used to travel a lot with my dad through all kinds of storms on a little 36' gillnetter. We set out one day and it wasn't a howling wind but when we got out to the outside waters there were huge rollers. There is a marker out there we call Jap point but on the map it is called tree bluff (which is even more weird than what we call it because it is way offshore.) but that is our 1/2 way mark to home. My dad said once we reach there no matter how bad the storm is you may as well keep going because we are 1/2 way. We got just passed that point and I always stood up at the helm with him in case he needed something done and I was looking away from the front and he said Hold on Sarah (his nickname for me) and I looked up and the splash was going over us and another one right after it. We went under and it was like being in the calm but we were totally submerged in water. He told me not to move too much but to check downstairs, the windows and door to see if any water was coming in anywhere. There wasn't and I asked him what we were going to do. He said I don't know, I'll just stay on course because if I try to slow down/speed up or turn we may either capsize or never return to the top. He told me if we don't to hold on to something tight and slide the window open. He said the water would come gushing in and I was to pull against it and swim out and grab hold of anything floating on the top (I'm not a swimmer) and not to worry about him.
Suddenly he said, 'Oh God' and I said what. He said look the reefs are coming up so we better pop back up top or else I'll have to turn away which may not be good. I could see was shaking and all of a sudden it was whoosh and we popped back on top of the water into a reasonably nice calm bay. I call it our yellow submarine experience.
God told me He was going to show me something even greater than the yellow submarine experience so I am excited about what it can be.
When you are going through the storms of life give praise. Praise brings more blessings to be thankful for. At one point I told God I can't even sing of my thankfulness because things just keep getting worse and He said that 'If you will learn to be thankful and be a good steward over what you do have I will bless you more.
I thanked Him for waking up, for having good health, for a home to live in with all the amenities, good children and a loving family. I thank Him for the song bird, for the rain to wash and water the earth, the cool breeze on a hot summer day, for the warmth of the sun, for the beauty He created and for loving me no matter what.
When I felt deserted by family He said if your family does not love you I will take you as my own and I will love you as my son/daughter and never forsake you. He said, What father when a child asks for food gives his son a stone instead.
I hope my testimony blesses those who are going through the storm and gives you strength to get closer to God and trust in Him.
