i could use some advice, if anyone is interested

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AngelCakes

Guest
#1
#1
I have three roommates who I have been living with for just over a year.
My one roommate has been seeing this certain girl for about 2 months now
her and I got along at the beginning just fine, but after a few visits something seemed a little bit off, so i asked her about it
she said she feels threatened by me because I live with her bf
i assured her that this was a highly platonic relationship for all parties involved
i apologized to her if i had done anything to make her feel like i was interested in her bf and i explicitly assured her that I am not interested in him in that way
she said 'ok' and everything was fine
about a week later my roommate comes up to me, privately, and tells me that his gf is tired of me flirting with her bf
i asked my friend 'do you think i flirt with you?' and he says 'no'
without getting into all the details about it, my roommate gets some enjoyment out of his gf getting jealous and he likes to feed into that jealousy
i told him that was stupid and that he needed to tell her the truth, but he didn't/won't
so i told her the next time she pulled me aside to have a 'talk' with me about staying away from her bf
needless to say, she didn't believe me
at this point, it is getting kind of annoying to have the same ridiculous conversation with her, which she feels needs to be rehashed almost every time she comes over and i'm home
i'm frustrated, i'm sure she isn't feeling great, and my roommate is just proving how much of a douce he really is
i really despise drama. i have to deal with it everyday at work, and really don't want to have to worry about it when i get home. any suggestions on how to deal with this gracefully?
 
S

Stuey

Senior Member
#2
Aug 17, 2009
892
4
18
#2
Hmmm, tricky situation.

Tell her all about a guy you are interested in?
 
onlinebuddy

onlinebuddy

Senior Member
#3
Sep 1, 2012
1,115
24
38
#3
Pls forgive me if I am not understanding something, but how come you have boys as your roommates? I mean, is that appropriate for a Christian? I do not want to tell you how to live your life, and I do not intend to be nosey, but I'm just trying to look at the root of the problem rather than the obvious issue that is bothering you.
 
N

NodMyHeadLikeYeah

Guest
#4
#4
You said you have assured her over and over again you don't like her boyfriend, your roommate.

If it were me and i had repeatedly told the same person the same thing i would refuse to say it again. If she tried to pull me aside again i would say no, i've told you more than once I'm not interested in your boyfriend, I'm not going tell you again and I'm not going to talk to you about this again. When she comes over leave the room, if she seeks you out continue to tell her i'm not having this conversation with you again and walk away.
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#5
Aug 2, 2009
24,602
4,273
113
#5
1. Set up a hidden video cam (or your phone if it can record) in the room where you talk about stuff and then tell the bf that you need to talk to him about 'something'. Its best to look outwardly upset so he will be more willing to find out what's bothering you.

2. Make sure the cam is recording.

3. Tell him how you're fed up with how his gf is constantly getting upset over thinking that you are flirting with him and record his reaction.

4. Upload the video to youtube and email the link to the gf.

5. Download the video to your phone (if is not on there already) so you can play it for her in person in case she doesn't read the email.
 
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kenthomas27

Guest
#6
#6
NodMyHeadLikeYeah said:
You said you have assured her over and over again you don't like her boyfriend, your roommate.

If it were me and i had repeatedly told the same person the same thing i would refuse to say it again. If she tried to pull me aside again i would say no, i've told you more than once I'm not interested in your boyfriend, I'm not going tell you again and I'm not going to talk to you about this again. When she comes over leave the room, if she seeks you out continue to tell her i'm not having this conversation with you again and walk away.
Click to expand...
While I kind of agree with this (Hey! What did I just say? What did I just tell you! You want me to talk slower?) I do also think the bf has some splain'n to do too. He's eating all this attention up, he's got you as a roommate and and a girlfriend too! What a great life for him. Time for him to pay up a little. He needs to reassure his gf but that's just a suggestion - what should be an order is for him to set this straight for YOU.
 
AAAPlus

AAAPlus

Senior Member
#7
Aug 2, 2011
601
10
18
#7
onlinebuddy said:
Pls forgive me if I am not understanding something, but how come you have boys as your roommates? I mean, is that appropriate for a Christian? I do not want to tell you how to live your life, and I do not intend to be nosey, but I'm just trying to look at the root of the problem rather than the obvious issue that is bothering you.
Click to expand...
This IS the root of the problem, and no, it is NOT appropriate for her as a Christian to be living with boys.
 
AsifinPassing

AsifinPassing

Senior Member
#8
Jul 13, 2010
3,608
40
48
#8
AngelCakes said:
I have three roommates who I have been living with for just over a year.
My one roommate has been seeing this certain girl for about 2 months now
her and I got along at the beginning just fine, but after a few visits something seemed a little bit off, so i asked her about it
she said she feels threatened by me because I live with her bf
i assured her that this was a highly platonic relationship for all parties involved
i apologized to her if i had done anything to make her feel like i was interested in her bf and i explicitly assured her that I am not interested in him in that way
she said 'ok' and everything was fine
about a week later my roommate comes up to me, privately, and tells me that his gf is tired of me flirting with her bf
i asked my friend 'do you think i flirt with you?' and he says 'no'
without getting into all the details about it, my roommate gets some enjoyment out of his gf getting jealous and he likes to feed into that jealousy
i told him that was stupid and that he needed to tell her the truth, but he didn't/won't
so i told her the next time she pulled me aside to have a 'talk' with me about staying away from her bf
needless to say, she didn't believe me
at this point, it is getting kind of annoying to have the same ridiculous conversation with her, which she feels needs to be rehashed almost every time she comes over and i'm home
i'm frustrated, i'm sure she isn't feeling great, and my roommate is just proving how much of a douce he really is
i really despise drama. i have to deal with it everyday at work, and really don't want to have to worry about it when i get home. any suggestions on how to deal with this gracefully?
Click to expand...
+1 more reason... Don't have roommates. ^^


Seriously, though, I'd just sit down and tell her the truth.

"Look, I've known your bf for a long time. He gets a kick out of making his girlfriends jealous, and unfortunately, he's using me this time. Not to be mean, but I could care less about what the two of you do, and really just don't want to be involved in this drama anymore. I've never done nor will ever do anything with your boyfriend, and I'd appreciate if you'd both stop giving me a hard time. Seriously..."

*shrugs* Anyway, that's something along the lines of what I would do...but you can decided if you feel that's appropriate for you or not.
 
H

Hellooo

Guest
#9
#9
If the shoe was on the other foot, would you be ok with your significant other living with a single woman, even if it was platonic?

If it was me, I would remove myself from that situation.
 
lil_christian

lil_christian

Senior Member
#10
Mar 14, 2010
7,489
73
48
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#10
I'm surprised barely anyone has come up with the "move out" answer. That'd seem the most logical to me. Obviously living there is causing too many issues. If the place you're living at isn't under your name, I'd get out. It isn't a good idea to live with guys anyways, boyfriend or not.
 
Ritter

Ritter

Banned
#11
Jul 25, 2005
2,417
34
0
#11
Yeah, if my girlfriend was living with a man, I would not be cool with it. Even if I was told day in and day out it was plutonic, there would still be room for questioning.
 
onlinebuddy

onlinebuddy

Senior Member
#12
Sep 1, 2012
1,115
24
38
#12
lil_christian said:
I'm surprised barely anyone has come up with the "move out" answer. That'd seem the most logical to me. Obviously living there is causing too many issues. If the place you're living at isn't under your name, I'd get out. It isn't a good idea to live with guys anyways, boyfriend or not.
Click to expand...
At least two to three answers are hinting at her to "move out."
 
C

choosingmylife

Guest
#13
#13
If I were you, I just wouldn't talk to her again. She's acting insecure and immature if she thinks that you living with her bf means you're attracted to him. If she pulls you aside again, just tell her that you don't want to hear the same spiel you've heard her say over and over again.
 
Fenner

Fenner

Senior Member
#14
Jan 26, 2013
7,507
111
0
#14
I would find a new place to live. He's a jerk and the girlfriend will find that out on her own, but not your problem.
 
M

MissCris

Guest
#15
#15
And if all else fails, you could snatch her purse when she isn't looking, and super glue all the contents to the ceiling.

...I don't really know why, except I always thought it would be funny to do something like that to someone.
 
PennEd

PennEd

Senior Member
#16
Apr 22, 2013
13,106
8,761
113
#16
What is the sex of the other 2 roommates? It seems completely inappropriate for a Christian to be living with anyone other than a sibling of the opposite sex. Shouldn't even be a question.
 
rachelsedge

rachelsedge

Senior Member
#17
Oct 15, 2012
3,659
79
48
34
#17
So, you're the only female living with three other males?

That...is just not a good idea.

I would suggest that you move out on your own or find a place with other females (and females only), or you're likely to encounter this situation again.
 
lil_christian

lil_christian

Senior Member
#18
Mar 14, 2010
7,489
73
48
27
#18
onlinebuddy said:
At least two to three answers are hinting at her to "move out."
Click to expand...
I meant pretty much straight up saying, "You should get out." and what I also meant is, usually in these kinds of threads, everyone's saying the same exact thing. So I guess you can just forget that I said that. It was more of a general observation, which I do alot.
 
P

presidente

Senior Member
#19
May 29, 2013
9,093
1,756
113
#19
Call me old fashioned. I don't think a girl should be a roommate with young men unless they are related, both live with a family, or in some kind of boarding house situation. I can see why a man's girlfriend would not like her boyfriend living in a 'Three's Company' situation at home.
 
D

Donkeyfish07

Guest
#20
#20
Moving out/getting different room mates may not be possible for the OP. Sometimes you just gotta room up with whoever you can to afford to exist.
 
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