Have you really ever seen anyone who is 60 or 70 who looks 'hot' after plastic surgery? You might say, oh she looks a lot younger than she really is. But hot? Maybe a few movie stars. Often, though, people look kind of gross after the surgery. Eyebrows that are too high and unnaturally puffy lips detract from any hotness that was once there.
Physical flaws
- Thread starter dliz
- Start date
-
Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.
If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!
To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
Question:
Would it deter you from dating someone who has physical flaws?
Flaws like scars,acne,stretchmarks,obesity or anything that is visible to the naked eye.
I would like to hear your opinions guys....
Would it deter you from dating someone who has physical flaws?
Flaws like scars,acne,stretchmarks,obesity or anything that is visible to the naked eye.
I would like to hear your opinions guys....
I was very particular about looks. I wasn't all that attracted to women who weren't drop dead gorgeous, most of the time. My wife is pretty. But she did have some slight scars on her face that aren't that noticeable unless you look up close.
I was also picky about a woman's arms. I didn't like big shoulders, but also those kind of slightly chunky arms that some women had were unattractive to me. My wife is in her 30's now, and her arms are a little rounder than when she was young. She's still thin and a beautiful woman. You get used to seeing the person you love change, and it effects what you find attractive, or maybe your 'tolerance levels'
. I was thinking about it. I wonder if the arms would have repelled me back in my 20's if they had been like that. I'm not talking about anything too flabby or weird, either. When I was young, the idea of being romantic with a wrinkly white haired woman was repulsive, but as the woman I love gradually gets wrinkly and white-haired, I think I'll be okay with it. But I'm looking older a lot faster than she is, so she may end up with the short end of the stick on this one.
M
Haha! Misscris,
My fiance is colorblind in one eye and blind in the other, has a fake tooth in the front that's bigger than the rest of his teeth, a deep chin dimple, long gangly arms and legs, a nose that would make a Jewish man look twice, HUGE FEET (size 15) that stink and have permanent athlete's foot, a receding hairline(even though he's only 22), overactive bonesalt and drools on every pillow when he sleeps.
And a hair bugs you? Seriously?
Anyways, that's not the point. The point is that we love our men for them. Physical is important, because in my opinion if you can't imagine sleeping with the person it's never going to work out. Quoting daschance from another topic forum,"Men do expect to have sex with their wives." And your physical self has alot to do with who you are, but that should NEVER be the only reason for being with someone, because that's lust not love.
My fiance is colorblind in one eye and blind in the other, has a fake tooth in the front that's bigger than the rest of his teeth, a deep chin dimple, long gangly arms and legs, a nose that would make a Jewish man look twice, HUGE FEET (size 15) that stink and have permanent athlete's foot, a receding hairline(even though he's only 22), overactive bonesalt and drools on every pillow when he sleeps.
And a hair bugs you? Seriously?
Anyways, that's not the point. The point is that we love our men for them. Physical is important, because in my opinion if you can't imagine sleeping with the person it's never going to work out. Quoting daschance from another topic forum,"Men do expect to have sex with their wives." And your physical self has alot to do with who you are, but that should NEVER be the only reason for being with someone, because that's lust not love.
Physical flaws in a relationship between a man and a woman, and the effect of those flaws on 'love', seem really to be love-stage dependant in my view. Consider...
A couple who are each in their late 70's or 80's, and who have been together for 50+ years, are almost certain to be 'in love'; even if that love is expressed only as a deep abiding commitment to each other, and to the Lord. Almost certainly each in that situation would have some sort of physical flaw which either might have considered a 'deal breaker' when they first met...
When two people meet initially however, (in my opinion) physical flaws become magnified in importance in relation to how 'selfish' are the motives of each person who is contemplating entry into a relationship.
Let's all face it, for the most part in our culture today, we DO begin our relationships with a pretty high degree of selfishness. We tend to look at whether another person is 'right for us' rather than whether or not we might be right for them, or right for God, by entering into a potential relationship. Perhaps this is a function of our romantic relationships being far less a matter of mutual material need today (such as a woman who needs a man to hunt for her, and a man who needs a woman to care for his home as he spends all waking hours working for the couple's mutual survival), so I hesitate to indict (some) minor selfish concerns when seeking a relationship partner. But if one totally bases a decision to pursue a relationship upon an aritrary standard pf physical 'perfection', and only considers partners who crosses a certain minimum standard set in relation to that, we can perhaps be passing up many partners who might be hugely edifying in our lives, and we might be passing up relationships which might be greatly edifying to God.
When we all are thinking of embarking upon a romantic relationship, I think we would all do well to remember:
1 If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.
2 And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.
3 If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.
4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant
5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;
6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.
7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
[h=3]1 Corinthians 13:1-7 (ESV)[/h]
what do you think?
A couple who are each in their late 70's or 80's, and who have been together for 50+ years, are almost certain to be 'in love'; even if that love is expressed only as a deep abiding commitment to each other, and to the Lord. Almost certainly each in that situation would have some sort of physical flaw which either might have considered a 'deal breaker' when they first met...
When two people meet initially however, (in my opinion) physical flaws become magnified in importance in relation to how 'selfish' are the motives of each person who is contemplating entry into a relationship.
Let's all face it, for the most part in our culture today, we DO begin our relationships with a pretty high degree of selfishness. We tend to look at whether another person is 'right for us' rather than whether or not we might be right for them, or right for God, by entering into a potential relationship. Perhaps this is a function of our romantic relationships being far less a matter of mutual material need today (such as a woman who needs a man to hunt for her, and a man who needs a woman to care for his home as he spends all waking hours working for the couple's mutual survival), so I hesitate to indict (some) minor selfish concerns when seeking a relationship partner. But if one totally bases a decision to pursue a relationship upon an aritrary standard pf physical 'perfection', and only considers partners who crosses a certain minimum standard set in relation to that, we can perhaps be passing up many partners who might be hugely edifying in our lives, and we might be passing up relationships which might be greatly edifying to God.
When we all are thinking of embarking upon a romantic relationship, I think we would all do well to remember:
1 If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.
2 And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.
3 If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.
4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant
5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;
6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.
7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
[h=3]1 Corinthians 13:1-7 (ESV)[/h]
what do you think?
W
People who cares to much about physical appearance are very shallow. And you don't want to be with shallow people. I once had a boy friend that told me that I am too skinny (I am a size 8), and that I need to go do a corrective eye surgery because the glasses that I was wearing made me look old and the last straw was when he told me that I started to have wrinkles and fine lines. I told him to hit the road straight away!
People who cares to much about physical appearance are very shallow. And you don't want to be with shallow people. I once had a boy friend that told me that I am too skinny (I am a size 8), and that I need to go do a corrective eye surgery because the glasses that I was wearing made me look old and the last straw was when he told me that I started to have wrinkles and fine lines. I told him to hit the road straight away!
I'm going to be open about my past and how/why they're there, but even if there was "no doubt" we were getting married, I have vowed to myself that the only people to see them are myself, my husband, and a medical professional (only if necessary). There are people who are engaged who break up, and even at the engaged point he wouldn't be my husband yet, so that's why I would still choose to wait to show, since only my husband will see them.
X
Physical flaws arent really flaws. How are they flaws? based on what? Based on human perception on what is attractive? Its similar to being 'normal'... what exactly is normal? Although I understand what the OP meant, its quite arbitrary. If I grow old with a woman, my marriage certainly wont be held together by her physical appearance. Especially since when she and I age, we both become 'less attractive'.
Yes were all human, and its human nature to have a physical attraction to one another. But as I grow in faith I realize how much less important it is. Our bodies are only temporary shells. We all have the same desires, hopes, dreams on the inside so essentially were all the same being. Her physical appearance wont change who she is on the inside. What if she gets into an accident and disfigures her face? Should I judge her person on her appearance? Is she any different than she was before?
Yes were all human, and its human nature to have a physical attraction to one another. But as I grow in faith I realize how much less important it is. Our bodies are only temporary shells. We all have the same desires, hopes, dreams on the inside so essentially were all the same being. Her physical appearance wont change who she is on the inside. What if she gets into an accident and disfigures her face? Should I judge her person on her appearance? Is she any different than she was before?
I think the movie was chocolate (martial arts, not Johnny Depp) where there was a line about the father of the protagonist stating that he, "Loves flawed things...". This thread just made me think of that (and search for it around an hour to no avail...).
Anyway, it's not so much having a deformity that's the problem, as much as it is the person. Though initial attraction is obviously influenced by our perceived ideas of beauty, a healthy relationship takes more than 'just a pretty face'. As an example, I've known several girls over my lifetime who were exceptionally beautiful/desirable even though they had a strongly pronounced scar, or were considerably plump, or the like...
Now, granted, this is stated within reason. For many, if someone was severely deformed (*see such things as Elephantiasis), or burned radically, it would be harder (by and large) for the majority of people to be attracted to that person. I'm not trying to be mean or superficial, but I am trying to be realistic, here. The same could be said for those who are grossly overweight. Again, I'm overweight myself, and have scars, and could easily fit into some of these categories, but if you're 500+lbs...generally it's going to be a smaller pool of people who are attracted to you...I just believe that's how it is.
Anyway, it's not so much having a deformity that's the problem, as much as it is the person. Though initial attraction is obviously influenced by our perceived ideas of beauty, a healthy relationship takes more than 'just a pretty face'. As an example, I've known several girls over my lifetime who were exceptionally beautiful/desirable even though they had a strongly pronounced scar, or were considerably plump, or the like...
Now, granted, this is stated within reason. For many, if someone was severely deformed (*see such things as Elephantiasis), or burned radically, it would be harder (by and large) for the majority of people to be attracted to that person. I'm not trying to be mean or superficial, but I am trying to be realistic, here. The same could be said for those who are grossly overweight. Again, I'm overweight myself, and have scars, and could easily fit into some of these categories, but if you're 500+lbs...generally it's going to be a smaller pool of people who are attracted to you...I just believe that's how it is.
Last edited: