"I don't care what they think/say" may be the most destructive thing to think/say

[1still_waters]

"I don't care what they think/say" may be the most destructive thing to think/say

In general, we should not care what people think or say. That should not be a prime motivator for our behavior.

On the other hand, I have noticed often times, when people play the, "I don't care what they say/think." card, they are engaged in behaviors that are wrong or self destructive.
This card is played as sort of a mental escape, so emphasis can be taken off of one's own behavior, and put onto someone/someones else.

Someone may engage in "fill in the blank" wrong/destructive behavior. As a way to deflect the wrongness of their behavior away from their conscience, they may say, "Well I don't live caring about what people think or say about me."

This little mental tactic allows a person to make "the other people" the issue. You know, "those other people" who are thinking and saying things contrary to your destructive/wrong behavior.

People making use of this escapist tactic should be warned. Your tactic is only a momentary escape to avoid the trap your own actions have set for yourself.

 

[Kia123]

Re: "I don't care what they think/say" may be the most destructive thing to think/say

Most people who behave as if they dont care, are actually very determined to appear that they dont care, this is especcially evident in teenagers

 

[Shouryu]

Re: "I don't care what they think/say" may be the most destructive thing to think/say

I find an even deeper irony in this lesson when seeing that your new avatar is Boss Hogg. ^_^

 

[FireWire]

Re: "I don't care what they think/say" may be the most destructive thing to think/say

I don't know what you're trying to say here still_waters but I don't really care what people think or say about me and more particularly women.

In this country we have tall poppy syndrome. If you're really really good at something (basically max talented) then you're going to be put down/criticised/denigrated/condemned. This even applies to The All Blacks who are the best rugby team in the world. If they lose one game they are vilified. A team that has an unmatched record in this sport since 1900 something.
Basically we don't build each other up in this country. Every man (and woman) for himself. This is also apparent in the church.

I used to be rather sensitive to what people thought of me. If I did that now I'd be a well, mental case.

 

[Ariel82]

Re: "I don't care what they think/say" may be the most destructive thing to think/say

people will use any tactic to justify their sins except the one that works: admitting they are wrong and asking God for forgiveness and realizing what Jesus did on the cross for the redemption of their sins.

We should not care what other people say about us if we are doing RIGHT and following God's will, but we should ALWAYS care about what God thinks and says about us and our actions.

 

[MidniteWelder]

Re: "I don't care what they think/say" may be the most destructive thing to think/say

Most people who behave as if they dont care, are actually very determined to appear that they dont care, this is especcially evident in teenagers

With teenagers, it can be a point of discovering who they are within maturing, settling into their place and role in life.
The transition from childhood to adult which had never been encountered before.
With adults there are some late bloomers.
That being said, some adults may act the same. We may notice this also when someone becomes a new creation in Christ and has been reborn where they can be undergoing the struggle of dying to the self and shedding the old them. This rebirth can at times be equated to being like a child again...
re-learning values morals and principles all over again within the renewing of the mind.

They may actually go through the same stage of discovery and maturing (such as from milk to meat) in their own personal mental acceptance of their new role to a new Father and thereby not care of any worldly opinions of their new found duties role and responsibilities unto the Lord.
I suppose traumatic experiences could cause a person to re-evaluate and take stock of their life and embrace an
"I don't care what others think" attitude as fight or flight/defense mechanism for survival.

Is it actually a problem that requires a solution?
Such as someone suddenly having an urge to take up Base Jumping only to hear from their friends/family how dangerous it can be to the point of being pressed to retort with "I dont care what you think" to finalize a peace within their decision.

Perhaps only if within not caring what others think it is harmful if a person has taken on the same attitude of not caring about themselves when we are told to love others as we love ourselves.
Loving ourselves as the Lord first loved us (which can be translated to self respect, dignity care and nurturing for oneself as the Lord's creation for his purpose) indicates to us the root Love to start from to allow love for others to flourish.

If that self worth and realization of how the Lord loves us is not there it can then contribute to become self-destructive behavior if this is what said person doesn't care about....which then... yes requires a solution.

Isn't the solution and rock of the foundation we must base everything upon always Christ?

 

[Jullianna]

Re: "I don't care what they think/say" may be the most destructive thing to think/say

I think on some level we all care what other people think (or we should, since we aren't supposed to do things that cause others to stumble), but if we are permitting what others think of us to dictate who we are, that can be an issue, especially for a Christian. I care about what people I respect think of me, but I don't give much thought to what people who look at my life in judgmental ignorance think. They should have their eyes on Christ, not me, and I should be doing the same.

HOWEVER, for some folks actually verbalizing "I don't care what people think of me" can become a theme song. When I see it I develop a mental image of someone folding their arms, stomping their feet and holding their breath until they turn blue. They clearly do care and are usually doing whatever it is they are doing for attention. Psych 101: A person who doesn't receive the amount of positive attention they crave will settle for negative attention.

 

[Relena7]

Re: "I don't care what they think/say" may be the most destructive thing to think/say

We should care about consequences more than what others think or say about us. To live life by worrying about what others are thinking is an endless, pointless battle, because people in a spotlight of any kind will never please everybody. That's a fact.

 

[Lindasue]

Re: "I don't care what they think/say" may be the most destructive thing to think/say

In general, we should not care what people think or say. That should not be a prime motivator for our behavior.

On the other hand, I have noticed often times, when people play the, "I don't care what they say/think." card, they are engaged in behaviors that are wrong or self destructive.
This card is played as sort of a mental escape, so emphasis can be taken off of one's own behavior, and put onto someone/someones else.

Someone may engage in "fill in the blank" wrong/destructive behavior. As a way to deflect the wrongness of their behavior away from their conscience, they may say, "Well I don't live caring about what people think or say about me."

This little mental tactic allows a person to make "the other people" the issue. You know, "those other people" who are thinking and saying things contrary to your destructive/wrong behavior.

People making use of this escapist tactic should be warned. Your tactic is only a momentary escape to avoid the trap your own actions have set for yourself.

We as believers of Christ need not to think of the ditch but see the road clearly, God give's us spritual food to eat

 

[kayem77]

Re: "I don't care what they think/say" may be the most destructive thing to think/say

I've seen that tactic being used in so many ways. My mom is very fond of that phrase when she's trying to justify her wrongdoings. ''I don't care what people think, only God can judge me'', and I'm left thinking, ''Mom, I don't think you would like God judging you really... ''.

 

[PopClick]

Re: "I don't care what they think/say" may be the most destructive thing to think/say

I'd say it's a dangerous thing to say when one's actions are truly wrong. If I've done something wrong, it needs to be seriously dealt with. <--- Preposition. Sue me.

But if it's not a matter of right or wrong, then I don't care what people think. People will get on YOUR case about something that doesn't suit THEM, like Misscris mentioned in another thread about her in-laws and the subject of education. My level of education doesn't suit you? Go pick your nose. You don't own me. If God is happy with said person, then it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.

 

[rachelsedge]

Re: &quot;I don't care what they think/say&quot; may be the most destructive thing to think/say

I've seen that tactic being used in so many ways. My mom is very fond of that phrase when she's trying to justify her wrongdoings. ''I don't care what people think, only God can judge me'', and I'm left thinking, ''Mom, I don't think you would like God judging you really... ''.

Sometimes when people say, "Only God can judge me", what they're really saying is, "Let me sin in peace." And, actually, most of the people I've heard say that don't really even believe in God. Or if they do, it's some tame, uncaring, guy-in-the-sky version of Him and not the holy, almighty, just One that He is. Not saying that your mom is that way, just a personal observation of people I've heard use that phrase.

 

[GreenNnice]

Re: &quot;I don't care what they think/say&quot; may be the most destructive thing to think/say

I'd say it's a dangerous thing to say when one's actions are truly wrong. If I've done something wrong, it needs to be seriously dealt with. <--- Preposition. Sue me.

But if it's not a matter of right or wrong, then I don't care what people think. People will get on YOUR case about something that doesn't suit THEM, like Misscris mentioned in another thread about her in-laws and the subject of education. My level of education doesn't suit you? Go pick your nose. You don't own me. If God is happy with said person, then it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.

hey, pop clickety, you in ? It's "So, sue me."
-------------------------
OK, being the grammar police aside, I think, it's important to care what Jesus thinks about what I think. Other than that, I agree with stilledwaters' opening statement, I want to care about others but only to the point that it doesn't drive me into doing wrong things or just caring too much. Both ways are destructive to self, inside and out. <---ended with preposition. So, sue me.

Oh, you see another one? I don't care what you think

 

[PopClick]

Re: &quot;I don't care what they think/say&quot; may be the most destructive thing to think/say

hey, pop clickety, you in ? It's "So, sue me."
-------------------------
OK, being the grammar police aside, I think, it's important to care what Jesus thinks about what I think. Other than that, I agree with stilledwaters' opening statement, I want to care about others but only to the point that it doesn't drive me into doing wrong things or just caring too much. Both ways are destructive to self, inside and out. <---ended with preposition. So, sue me.

Oh, you see another one? I don't care what you think

The "So" is optional.

 

[Pipp]

Re: &quot;I don't care what they think/say&quot; may be the most destructive thing to think/say

I want to make sure I have the kind of testimony that speaks for its self. I have caught myself before saying we'll I don't care what people say about me .. then I realize I actually do care..... that is my testimony. The way I see it is.. if you aren't in the wrong the right kind of people will look at your life and realize that some people just run their mouths and there is nothing to believe. So for the most part.. I no longer say "I don't care what people say about me.." I still catch myself every once in a while , but as still waters says.. most of the times its used in when something isn't right and my attitude stinks. Great post

 

[Ugly]

Re: &quot;I don't care what they think/say&quot; may be the most destructive thing to think/say

I don't know what you're trying to say here still_waters but I don't really care what people think or say about me and more particularly women.

In this country we have tall poppy syndrome. If you're really really good at something (basically max talented) then you're going to be put down/criticised/denigrated/condemned. This even applies to The All Blacks who are the best rugby team in the world. If they lose one game they are vilified. A team that has an unmatched record in this sport since 1900 something.
Basically we don't build each other up in this country. Every man (and woman) for himself. This is also apparent in the church.

I used to be rather sensitive to what people thought of me. If I did that now I'd be a well, mental case.

He's talking about the difference between not being motivated in your actions by others views of yourself vs using 'i don't care what people think' as a way to excuse behavior that is wrong so you don't have to own up to it.

For example a right way of not caring what people think is a teen maintaining their virginity in light of ridicule of their peers.
An example of the wrong way is a Christian teen sleeping around and saying 'i don't care what anyone thinks' to excuse any responsibility from their actions.
They both share the same wording, but the intentions behind it are different.

 

[ServantStrike]

Re: &quot;I don't care what they think/say&quot; may be the most destructive thing to think/say

He's talking about the difference between not being motivated in your actions by others views of yourself vs using 'i don't care what people think' as a way to excuse behavior that is wrong so you don't have to own up to it.

For example a right way of not caring what people think is a teen maintaining their virginity in light of ridicule of their peers.
An example of the wrong way is a Christian teen sleeping around and saying 'i don't care what anyone thinks' to excuse any responsibility from their actions.
They both share the same wording, but the intentions behind it are different.

Sometimes, I don't care what they say goes hand in hand with "but God wants us to be together."

After the heartbreak, then comes "but we were meant for each other."

 

[lil_christian]

Re: &quot;I don't care what they think/say&quot; may be the most destructive thing to think/say

I'd say it's a dangerous thing to say when one's actions are truly wrong. If I've done something wrong, it needs to be seriously dealt with. <--- Preposition. Sue me.

But if it's not a matter of right or wrong, then I don't care what people think. People will get on YOUR case about something that doesn't suit THEM, like Misscris mentioned in another thread about her in-laws and the subject of education. My level of education doesn't suit you? Go pick your nose. You don't own me. If God is happy with said person, then it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.

I can agree with this.

I think the main thing Stilly's trying to point out is how people will be tempted to sin, people say, "Stay away, it's for your good. They decide to say "I don't care what he/she thinks." and go and sin.

Now there may be things that might not necessarily be sins, but aren't healthy, and people try and discourage it, and they say, "I don't care what you think" and continue.

Now, things of the past, like if someone does decide to do something like drop out of high school or move to someplace broke, and get out of it on top, and people STILL want to hold them down, that's when I say the above is definitely, completely, 100% true. Because they are past it. God has redeemed their lives. Doesn't matter what they think.

 

[FasalKhan2]

Re: &quot;I don't care what they think/say&quot; may be the most destructive thing to think/say

hello.i.m.new.user here.

 

[PopClick]

Re: &quot;I don't care what they think/say&quot; may be the most destructive thing to think/say

I can agree with this.

I think the main thing Stilly's trying to point out is how people will be tempted to sin, people say, "Stay away, it's for your good. They decide to say "I don't care what he/she thinks." and go and sin.

Now there may be things that might not necessarily be sins, but aren't healthy, and people try and discourage it, and they say, "I don't care what you think" and continue.

Now, things of the past, like if someone does decide to do something like drop out of high school or move to someplace broke, and get out of it on top, and people STILL want to hold them down, that's when I say the above is definitely, completely, 100% true. Because they are past it. God has redeemed their lives. Doesn't matter what they think.

Right. My line of thinking is that if other people have a good reason to be unhappy with you or the choices you've made, then God's not going to be happy with you, either. So it's not really the other people's opinions that should direct your behavior, but God's opinion... which may very well be shared by other people, haha.

Doth that maketh sense?